redatlanta

This one means a lot to me and has gotten me through some tough, unsettling times….

Philippians 4:6-7New Living Translation (NLT)

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

AMEN.

(((HUGS))) Katchie

firebolt

Thanks redlanta - i could use that reminder too.

Hang in there Katchie - you are doing all the right things! Sending you strength and peace.

Seren

Hopefully your husband and brother-in-law will have a good talk and your husband may finally put all of his talk into action. I will be praying for you and your family, Katchie!

Katchie

1st of all, I love all of you, thank you for your prayers and encouragement. My BIL is here with me at my boys game and talked with me letting me know my AH could be entered into a 7-10 day detox and begin rehab as soon as tomorrow. BIL is pushing to get him into detox and iron the rest out once he is in there because he said AH has finally said he's ready to change. AH didn't come to the game because his anxiety is too great. AH called me and told me the same things I heard from BIL and he said he was so sorry for everything. I'm hopeful and very scared to be hopeful all at the same time.

Hawkeye13

Hi Katchie;
I am so glad you've got some family help in this situation--
Such a heavy burden you've been carrying for so long.

My thoughts and positive prayers are sent to you all.
I hope your husband really lets go of all his denial and resistance and embraces recovery.
If he truly does this, your family can be healed--

I know this is so, because I finally let go myself and quit making excuses of "why I drank"
and made a plan of "why I choose sobriety" which is a whole different positive mindset.
If I can do it, anyone can

Rest and let BIL be on the front line for a bit now.

seasaw

I'm so glad you're getting support and relief from family right now!

I know the hopeful/scared to be hopeful feeling. I have found that, for -me-, the best treatment for that is to focus on meeting my own wants and needs independent of the actions of the people around me. But I know you aren't just hoping for yourself right now, but for your kids.

I'm looking forward to reading your updates.

Katchie

My AH will need me in the morning. My BIL went back to his hometown a couple of hours ago to ready himself to talk to their mother. She is suppose to be coming Thursday-Friday, but BIL will make sure her trip is cancelled after he tells her all that has been going on. She is going to be so heartbroken. BIL is hoping my AH will be admitted to detox tomorrow so he will be able to share with MIL the plan of action he is taking so there is something positive to share her. BIL didn't want me sharing it with her; he thinks I'm too close to what is going on. I'm fine with that; I don't want to be the one doing it this time.

My BIL is still stunned. He was coming for a visit anyway and this was not what he expected. I feel badly about it, but AH telling me he would rather die than live was just too much for me.

I think I can honestly say, after all the emotional energy spent, if this doesn't work, it will be the end of my marriage. I just don't think I could do this again and again. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled he is taking this step, but in the future, I don't believe I could go thru this again.

CodeJob

It is OK Katchie to have that last boundary. I have it too - still. I've reconsidered it over my step work, and I need it.

I'm grateful his secret is now out with his family. I hope he gains access to a good program. I pray this is his turning point.

But mostly I pray for you and your boys...

LexieCat

Hugs, Katchie,

I know what you're saying. I stuck by my second husband after he almost died of liver/kidney failure following a hospitalization for pneumonia--even married him (yeah, I know). But when he went back to drinking insane amounts of alcohol, I was done. I didn't have another deathbed vigil in me for someone who had all the tools to stay sober but was refusing to use them.

Keep taking care of you and the kiddos, and you'll be OK whatever the outcome for him. I hope he seizes this opportunity to really recover.

Refiner

Well done, Katchie. I also think it's proper that his brother is the one to fill their mother in on things. Your job is done. And you've done GREAT. Now it's up to your husband.

freetosmile

These are all good things that you have done katchie girl. God is moving over in your neck of woods. Cling to THAT. looking for rehab, allowing brother in the picture, these are all good things. Of course you much hope is destructive, but we're not looking for recovery yet , we are looking for safety right now. I'm praying for you girl. Praying for a day when your tears can be tears of joy.

MissFixit

Hi Katchie,

I just wanted to offer support to you. I know this must be confusing and exhausting. Such drama day in and day out.

Whatever he does, keep taking care of you and moving forward with your plans. You will be okay regardless of what he does if you keep your focus on you and your boys.

Hugs

hopeful4

Katchie, nothing changes if nothing changes. This is a big step for him, a good one. Praying for all of you!

firebolt

I hope you are giving yourself a big pat on the back for how you've handled this all. I also hope you can be ever so good to yourself - lots of rest, good food, friends, exercise, and some r&r. Take care!

spedteach

Katchie-

You DID the right thing. Let your AH get into detox and rehab, and than immediately, start your own recovery big time. Get a therapist, go to Alanon meetings (if you aren't already), go to more meetings. But most importantly, do something nice for YOU every single day. Don't beat yourself up, you did the right thing and use this time to focus on you and the boys!!

hopeful4

Katchie, I will also mention that I think it's excellent that the brother is telling his mom. I agree that you are too close to the situation.

No matter the outcome, I think this will give you some peace. You will know, if he does this or not, that you gave him every single opportunity to get well. Boundaries are healthy my friend!!!

XXX

FireSprite

Just many, many ((((hugs)))) today friend.

And I 2nd & 3rd the advice to do more for yourself right now.... extra naps, meditations, yoga, comfort foods, shopping, vitamins.... whatever works for you. Call a trusted friend & take a girlie day & go get mani/pedis or a massage & lunch.

Katchie

I ate the whole box of macaroni and cheese... I think I could vomit. I think I tasted it. :-(

He still hasn't called me yet. I text him this morning and he said he was lining his ducks in a row. Then I did notice that he paid some bills using our debit card. I'm feeling anxious tho I know I shouldn't be. I know this is his deal.

FireSprite

Are your ducks in a row Katch? Do you have money you can access for groceries/bills/whatever while he's away? Will it create financial stress with his job for him to be out of work for any length of time? Maybe focusing on that kind of stuff from your side will help you stay busy & keep the anxiety at bay?

spiderqueen

((Katchie))
Oh sweetie, please try to give yourself a break. Your mind, body and spirit are weary. I know this feeling so well. Be careful to take care of yourself through all this.