Butterfly

I have been seeing her since about september and although initially I was wary as she is young and just completed her training she is fabulous and I have a very positive relationship with her. I can talk openly and honestly, shout and cry and she has really helped me through some very difficult times.

It's an unforeseen circumstance that has resulted in her taking a leave of absence and I genuinely hope she is ok and is able to come back but I am feeling very anxious.

I can see another counsellor through the service but it would probably mean having to go back over everything again. This happened many years ago when I first started counselling I had a brilliant CPN but he left and I had a few others who were dreadful. That experience had put me of until I saw my CBT counsellor who was brilliant then I met this one.

This is probably silly to be so worried about but she has supported me so much and knows so much and I trust her. Now I will have to start again!!

hopeful4

Butterfly, breathe. Tell them your fears about having to go over everything again. My DD's counselor who we just love left for counseling for adults only. We were very sad. We expressed the fear of having to go over it all over again. She assured us that she would pass on the file and make notes and the new counselor would read up so that would not have to happen.

It was actually a pretty smooth transition for my DD and she loves this counselor too!

Don't be afraid of change, sometimes it works out really well.

XXX

Sotiredofitall

I know all about the trust you build and would feel very anxious as well if I had to change my T. That said, perhaps there will be something important you are meant to share with a different T and this is just that pathway. The universe seems to unfold they way it should in the overall scheme of things. For me, I just have to be open to that changing pathway. Hugs and hopefully this will be a good thing for you.

Butterfly

Thank you hopeful and so tired suppose I have to trust that God knows what he's doing and follow where he leads!!

SparkleKitty

It's not silly at all to be affected by this change. The relationship we build with our counselors is very important, almost sacred. Mine went on maternity leave during our first five years together (I am back seeing her again regularly after a few years' break), and we spent a lot of time working through what her absence would mean for me and our work together. It was good for me to know exactly how long I expected her to be gone -- I don't know if you have that luxury, her situation sounds a lot more unforeseen than my therapist's pregnancy.

I did not see anyone else while she was on leave -- I was at a point in therapy where it was 'good practice' for me to deal with things on my own, but if you feel you need continued support while she is gone you may want to at least try sitting down with someone else. Perhaps you could frame it less as a chore to catch them up with you and more as an opportunity to articulate your story and how far you've come. There is always a chance of not connecting with a new person, but it may be good to face your fear and try.

Thinking of you!

ladyscribbler

I had the exact same thing happen to me this summer. I had just done my Alanon 5th step with my therapist and we made a bunch of appointments to keep the momentum going over the summer. Then she had to get emergency surgery and take a 6 week medical leave.
I was pretty worried, but it ended up working out OK. She gave me a referral for the mindfulness (meditation) class and I doubled down on my Alanon meeting attendance. I also did some alternative types of healing like reiki and laughter yoga. What had seemed like a big setback for my recovery ended up being a way to broaden my horizons and help shake me out of my rut even more.
Hugs Butterfly. I think you'll do fine with this. You're getting stronger every day.

Butterfly

Sparklekitty, I have 3 more sessions with her after next week, she's off,
but no I don't know how long she will be gone, she doesn't know herself! I definitely don't think I'm strong enough to go it on my own yet, I have so much to work through still so I think I will see another counsellor. She has recommended that the new counsellor comes in for our last session so the both of us can bring him/her up to speed.

I've just looked at when my last session will be and it will the same week that AH will be left a year!

Thank you Ladyscribbler, one day at a a time right??

SparkleKitty

Good -- you have a some time left with her before she goes. I think the joint session is a very good idea.

dandylion

Butterfly...this would be the perfect time to get the group support (re: my last post to you). Especially an abuse group. Some FACE to FACE support with those who have some of the same issues that you have. Your therapist could be helpful in helping you find the right support group.

dandylion

Butterfly

Hi dandylion, there are no support groups for adults suffering trauma from childhood emotional abuse, just individual counselling, there's women's aid for domestic violence and groups for those who have been sexually abused but not emotional from childhood.

Butterfly

I did have my first online alanon meeting today just like you guys everyone was so welcoming and friendly

dandylion

Butterfly....I don't know about the UK, but, here, in the US....emotional abuse and many other kinds of abuse are ALL taken under the umbrella of domestic abuse (dv).
Many people think that abuse is only physical or sexual..but the various forms of abuse can be traumatic and can leave scars as deep as the physical.

Jut wanted to clear that up. An abuse group might address the various issues that you do struggle with. this is just my take on it...why not ask your therapist about this...?
I couldn't hurt to ask, could it?

dandylion

Butterfly

No and I will ask but women's aid doesn't deal with childhood abuse only domestic violence in all forms and yes emotional abuse included in that but as an adult.

Spalding

Butterfly, I know that feeling. I have to find a new counselor because where I have been going is for short term only and it sucks because I really like who I am with. It's gonna be weird going to someone else when this one has been so helpful. It feels weird just cutting ties with someone you've said so much to, and made so many big decisions with.

I understand that feeling and I'm sending you some strength!