Omg HE MARRIED HER IN VEGAS this weekend!!!
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Originally Posted by Jodie77 
No I'm not checking!!! I had 4 text messages this morning from friends telling me he married her in Vegas over the weekend so that I could have closure!!!
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It's not a matter of who told me or why or how or when, the point is I'm in excruciating pain....and cannot believe he married someone after 4 weeks of dating when I spent 5 years with him.
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Who needs enemies with friends like that. What a crappy thing to send a text about - much less four people doing the same thing.
One more tick mark in the 'ex is a hot mess' column.
Put a tick mark in the "Jodie will survive column." Don't you kinda what to just stand up and say FU to such insanity?! First breath and then decide to go do something. Anything. You don't have to actually want to. Do something totally out of character like play paint ball or go to one of those go cart places or hand out sandwiches and hot coffee to the homeless or buy lego sets and take them to a children's hospital. Buy some carnations and hand them out to people that look like they could use a smile. Take a friend that will keep it in the moment.
One more tick mark in the 'ex is a hot mess' column.
Put a tick mark in the "Jodie will survive column." Don't you kinda what to just stand up and say FU to such insanity?! First breath and then decide to go do something. Anything. You don't have to actually want to. Do something totally out of character like play paint ball or go to one of those go cart places or hand out sandwiches and hot coffee to the homeless or buy lego sets and take them to a children's hospital. Buy some carnations and hand them out to people that look like they could use a smile. Take a friend that will keep it in the moment.
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Originally Posted by zoso77
You're shocked?
He's an addict. He's bipolar. He's probably a borderline personality. What happens when you take those three things, put them in a blender, and hit Frappe?
He's an addict. He's bipolar. He's probably a borderline personality. What happens when you take those three things, put them in a blender, and hit Frappe?
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Originally Posted by Eauchiche
Dear Jodie
Rejoice! You've dodged a bullet on this one.
Rejoice! You've dodged a bullet on this one.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
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Originally Posted by Jodie77
It's not a matter of who told me or why or how or when, the point is I'm in excruciating pain....and cannot believe he married someone after 4 weeks of dating when I spent 5 years with him.
Once you're able to step outside of yourself and look at this dispassionately, you won't be so shocked.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
Im not breathing at all, I'm existing/
His actions don't say it all, they scream it all .
You may not be able to see it today, as I understand you are hurting and probably still in disbelief, But I do believe you are one one the luckiest girls on this planet, to be rid of someone so very superficial, SELFISH, and currently spiraling out of control. This guy doesn't have a clue what love is, and the bottom line he simply wasn't the one for you. He had nothing, zero, to offer you, his new wife, will be experiencing the absolute same distress you have, you see nothing has changed, he is still the addict with the monkey on his back. You just can't wash that off and make it all pretty and nice.
Catch your breath Jodie, and find somewhere that you can yell from the top of your lungs. (I'd be yelling) Free at last, thank god this nightmare is OVER.
You will be ok, sweetie, but now it is your turn to help yourself.
In gentleness, relationships require maturity, and part of the maturity is being able to accept the facts of the situation. Mourn your loss, and move forward with dignity, if you allow his actions and choices to control you, he wins........ and thinking we all agree, he is a LOSER! Thinking it's time we start talking about Jodie, and not this guy who has moved on in his life.
Remember, everything for a reason.............
His actions don't say it all, they scream it all .
You may not be able to see it today, as I understand you are hurting and probably still in disbelief, But I do believe you are one one the luckiest girls on this planet, to be rid of someone so very superficial, SELFISH, and currently spiraling out of control. This guy doesn't have a clue what love is, and the bottom line he simply wasn't the one for you. He had nothing, zero, to offer you, his new wife, will be experiencing the absolute same distress you have, you see nothing has changed, he is still the addict with the monkey on his back. You just can't wash that off and make it all pretty and nice.
Catch your breath Jodie, and find somewhere that you can yell from the top of your lungs. (I'd be yelling) Free at last, thank god this nightmare is OVER.
You will be ok, sweetie, but now it is your turn to help yourself.
In gentleness, relationships require maturity, and part of the maturity is being able to accept the facts of the situation. Mourn your loss, and move forward with dignity, if you allow his actions and choices to control you, he wins........ and thinking we all agree, he is a LOSER! Thinking it's time we start talking about Jodie, and not this guy who has moved on in his life.
Remember, everything for a reason.............
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Location: W Washington
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cannot believe he married someone after 4 weeks of dating when I spent 5 years with him.
BELIEVE IT.
you are ASSUMING that they met four weeks ago and have been DATING ever since. i suspect there's way more to it than that. OR it's just a rash impulsive drunken thing.
and yes it does matter who told you......if you want no contact than you need to be firm with these 'well meaning friends" and tell them to stop. unless you enjoy this agony???
you lost a boyfriend, not a lung. this is where the rubber meets the road, where you stop the drama and realize you are still fully intact, all fingers and toes, all internal organs and a whole big fat UNIVERSE is still out there spinning around.
BELIEVE IT.
you are ASSUMING that they met four weeks ago and have been DATING ever since. i suspect there's way more to it than that. OR it's just a rash impulsive drunken thing.
and yes it does matter who told you......if you want no contact than you need to be firm with these 'well meaning friends" and tell them to stop. unless you enjoy this agony???
you lost a boyfriend, not a lung. this is where the rubber meets the road, where you stop the drama and realize you are still fully intact, all fingers and toes, all internal organs and a whole big fat UNIVERSE is still out there spinning around.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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You don't want him back, correct?
He's married and unavailable, correct ?
This is where I would begin the process of recovery for myself.
I would stop letting the heart strings tug, stop the memory lane movies, and focus on what I needed to do for me.
What do you want to do now Jodie? Crawling under a rock is not an option.
He's married and unavailable, correct ?
This is where I would begin the process of recovery for myself.
I would stop letting the heart strings tug, stop the memory lane movies, and focus on what I needed to do for me.
What do you want to do now Jodie? Crawling under a rock is not an option.
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I think it's utterly normal to feel like yer head and heart is exploding.
You said it was a month since breaking up. Even tho' you found out he'd been seeing her before the breakup, it's still a huge life event going on now.
And there's not a damn thing you can do...just a huge ball of emotion. I don't think it takes much to see this at face value....he might not of been a prince, but for things to move this fast, well...gotta be a shock to your system. Everyones. But yours is the only one that matters here at SR.
btw - I find nothing wrong with a pals letting you know about this event. It's not like they texted or called you over a "saw them at supermarket together." This is bigger than that. Yes, you did need to know. If it was a event with a guy you broke up with a year or 2 ago, then that would be different.
My life experience ...*deep breath*...well....I'd say give yourself a set period of time to go off the rails on this news.
Like, say, a week. (maybe 2)
Cry, yell, talk, find yer friends/family. (Do NOT get near him/them)
Then at the end of the "mourning" period, have a plan in place to do something, anything, to get yourself moving out there in life.
I think you need to FEEL and cry and rage ...as this isn't anything little or simple. A bit of validation that you really have had a shock.
....yeah, I think you should have a time limit on it. [talking in my head here] So... call every one who is safe to talk to, cry yourself to sleep, rant on here, stay home, eat take out, not shower, etc..have free and clear time limit.
I am so sorry. No matter all his faults, this is a hurtful event. Honor your feelings.
then move on. ((((((hugs)))))
You said it was a month since breaking up. Even tho' you found out he'd been seeing her before the breakup, it's still a huge life event going on now.
And there's not a damn thing you can do...just a huge ball of emotion. I don't think it takes much to see this at face value....he might not of been a prince, but for things to move this fast, well...gotta be a shock to your system. Everyones. But yours is the only one that matters here at SR.
btw - I find nothing wrong with a pals letting you know about this event. It's not like they texted or called you over a "saw them at supermarket together." This is bigger than that. Yes, you did need to know. If it was a event with a guy you broke up with a year or 2 ago, then that would be different.
My life experience ...*deep breath*...well....I'd say give yourself a set period of time to go off the rails on this news.
Like, say, a week. (maybe 2)
Cry, yell, talk, find yer friends/family. (Do NOT get near him/them)
Then at the end of the "mourning" period, have a plan in place to do something, anything, to get yourself moving out there in life.
I think you need to FEEL and cry and rage ...as this isn't anything little or simple. A bit of validation that you really have had a shock.
....yeah, I think you should have a time limit on it. [talking in my head here] So... call every one who is safe to talk to, cry yourself to sleep, rant on here, stay home, eat take out, not shower, etc..have free and clear time limit.
I am so sorry. No matter all his faults, this is a hurtful event. Honor your feelings.
then move on. ((((((hugs)))))
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Join Date: Nov 2013
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Originally Posted by Thumper
Who needs enemies with friends like that. What a crappy thing to send a text about - much less four people doing the same thing. [/I]
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
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Originally Posted by Jodie77
It's not a matter of who told me or why or how or when, the point is I'm in excruciating pain....and cannot believe he married someone after 4 weeks of dating when I spent 5 years with him.
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I've got a slightly different perspective on the wisdom of your friends imparting this bit of information. This isn't just gossip about what he's "up to"--he got MARRIED. It's OVER.
Regardless of whether their motivations were the best, this is a bit of information you can USE to accept what has happened and to move on from this train-wreck of a relationship. Thankfully, you survived the wreck.
Regardless of whether their motivations were the best, this is a bit of information you can USE to accept what has happened and to move on from this train-wreck of a relationship. Thankfully, you survived the wreck.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Originally Posted by Refiner
I think you mis-read her post about this. Her 4 friends gave her the information in hopes SHE'D finally have closure of what a jerkwad he is and she needs to move on (at least that's the way I read it and HOPE it was intended???)
Jodie - I'm not suggesting you ditch your friends or that they had evil intent. That was just my first thought. I really feel for you and your situation. I try and answer each of your posts just once because I want to be supportive and I can only share my experience or thoughts - but I'm thinking we come at a situation in very different ways - so I don't want to badger you
. As always - take what you like and leave the rest!
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