Advice on how to deal with AH withdrawals..
 

So he wont be able to drink this weekend because he has no money. It will be the first time he has gone more than a day without drinking in a very long time, over 6 months. I am looking for coping skills and ways to deal with his mood swings, anger, depression, anxiety to name a few and also what can I do if he has more serious withdrawal symptoms? I thought the best thing to would be to avoid him but then I am afraid he will get the wrong idea and associate being sober with being ignored and rejected. Any advice would be appreciated. TIA.

Detachment is the best for YOU--

It's time to forget your worries about HIS reaction to your behavior.

That's what recovery is all about for us "friends and family" of A's.

Detaching and doing for ourselves.

The best thing you can do is NOT react to his mood swings. Go do something else. Go to another room, etc.

If he gets angry- then go grocery shopping or clean or something. Ya get the idea. That's the only way to get through this stuff.

Also I recommend al-anon if your not already going. It's a great support group that will help you learn to find peace and serenity whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.

Hugs!!

So sorry you are worried about this-- I do know the feeling. Withdrawals suck- big time. Just remember- they are HIS withdrawals- NOT yours.

If he has serious withdrawal symptoms don't hesitate to call 911.

Don't worry, he'll be far from sober and likely won't remember anything once he can get his hands on another drink. Not drinking for a day or two does not equal being sober. Not even close to thinking clearly. I would try to get out of the house and do something for yourself. Even if it's just walking around or having tea with a neighbor. If he's been drinking for a very long time, it would be a good idea to have 911 on speed dial. Alcoholic withdrawal/detox can be deadly.

Coping skills for you - have a good friend lined up so you can split with her if he gets ugly. This is not your problem, it is his. All you can do is minimize its effects on you. Please be good to you. Sending you guys prayers!

I agree to get away b/c that is what would be best for you as he is not likely to be very pleasant to be around.

However, respecting what you are asking, I think I would just talk to him about it. Tell him you want to be there but understand it will be rough. Let the conversation go from there.

I agree with what the others have said. Please stay mentally and physically safe!

And don't be so sure he won't have any alcohol.

Nyquil, mouthwash, vanilla extract--anything will do in a pinch for an alcoholic who needs it.

I should've thought of this. My mother survived the week of my wedding at my house without a single drink... of booze. It didn't hit me until way later that she was keeping the DTs away with Scope.

Honestly, I would play it by ear and live your life normally. Whatever he does or doesn't do really doesn't effect you anymore than you allow it to. He is responsible for caring for himself and because you're pregnant you are responsible for caring for yourself and that baby that you're growing. Put yourself in the most relaxing situation you can. Even if that means ignoring your husband. I agree with Grits that the inability to buy alcohol for a weekend does not equate to sober and where there is a will for an alcoholic to drink there is always a way.

In the meantime, what can you do for yourself? Do you have friends or family nearby that you can visit and maybe stay the night with so you can focus on taking care of yourself and maybe even have fun?

not drinking for a day or two because you don't have enough to BUY booze is not SOBER.........waking up the next DAY after drinking is not SOBER. do not feel like you need to reward him in some way for any of this.....SOBRIETY is an series of actions, not an event.

chances are he'll find a way to have booze........but if he does have any serious medical reactions, do not hesitate to call the ambulance. drinkers usually have to be fairly advanced in their drinking careers to have serious w/d complications....but one should never rule out the possibility.

Tagging on to Drunkyswife, may I ask a question of those of you who have been through this? I take it that 24 hours doesn't mean someone is sober, and I like AnvilheadIIs definition of sobriety (a series of actions). But how long does it take before someone starts to think clearly again? My husband has been drinking heavily for about 5 years, but apparently stopped drinking three weeks ago. What does it take to clear one's alcohol-fogged brain; a month? Three?

The moment when I will think his brain is getting clear will be the day he reaches step 9 in AA. So far he's not even at step 1. :)

Good luck with your conundrum, Drunkyswife. Maybe your husband will be like mine when he stops drinking, mostly passed out on the couch (but pissy when he wakes up). I share your problem of wanting to be supportive and connected but needing to protect myself (and, frankly, angry that he puts his family through this). It's really hard to be warm when you feel cold. Of course AlAnon, meditating, therapy, etc. help.

Hi, sauerkraut,

It took a few months--three or four--before I started to think more clearly, but I still had intermittent brain-fog for quite a while.

I do know that if he's "white-knuckling" it--doing it on sheer willpower with no outside support of any kind--his thinking may clear, but his personality may not be any more pleasant.