theuncertainty

at some time? Checking things we know we shouldn't have... My language inhibitor is in full gear right now, so I'll apologize up front it may not make sense - I'm trying really hard to keep the language G or at least PG13. But I really, really need to vent.

As is usual for about this time of year, the child support payments have stopped; stopped quite a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact, and he owes (way past due) reimbursing me for DS's dental from about this time a few years past to now. (E-mailed responses: Thanks, TU, I got the invoices and back up. I'll see.) As is not usual, I talked myself into thinking I could check to see if there are any new legal reasons. I checked courtview, no new RO's against him from a new girl, no DUI, so, nothing showing up that route. Instead of stopping there, I jumped onto FaceBook. (What's the first thing usually told to members having a hard time with an X or STBX? Yep, don't stalk FB....)

The stupidhead can't (or refuses to) pay his share of the uncovered portion of DS's dental, and now hasn't paid CS for a while, but he took off out-of-state for an old-boys rugby tourney at the end of October. He'd have had to pay for gear, air, hotel and food. Maybe a new GF paid for his trip....

But he couldn't pay a couple hundred for DS's dental work. And he either quit or was canned from his job and the State will have to start it's game of chase to catch up with him when/if he finds a new one.

So, I'm writing here so I don't write his dad and his sister about his absolutely c-p failure. It is so, so tempting. (xSIL was always 'good' about nagging her brother about taking care of DS.) But I know it's not their business and it's not their job to make AXH do what he's supposed to do. And besides, I like not hearing from them, and this would open that door back up.

And I'm also writing here in an effort to get myself out of the Wat-worthy rant-stutter directed at him. (The Knight's Tale scene I'm seeing is the: "Uh, betray us, and [.]... until your insides are out, your outsides are in, your entrails will become your extrails. I will w-rip... all the p... ung. Pain, lots of pain..")

I don't need the CS like I did when I first left him, but it'd help, you know. But man, I'm ticked that he was playing instead...

It's helping me calm down.... a little..... (Thanks for letting me rant.)

LexieCat

Yeah, I've done searches I've regretted, too.

I sure wish the novelty of FB would wear off. NOBODY needs to know all the details about everybody's private life. It's like having the key to the Library of Congress's Most Boring Autobiography section.

pixilation

I blocked x and his entire family from facebook, and I only use mine to keep up with fan pages and one private group I'm in with a bunch of ladies I've been chatting with for many years. I can look at ex's page thru my son's facebook, but i haven't for nearly a year.

But,i have an unlistened to voicemail on my phone from ex..more than likely complaining about the medical bill i sent with the kids, the half of it he owes at least since.

lillamy

Yep, I'd like to tell him to perform impossible physical acts on himself, to.
I will never understand how an addiction can screw up your brain to the point where your children are NOT your first priority...

(And right after I typed that, I realized that I did that while I was married to my ex. I put him before the children. Ugh.)

Be that as it may -- rant all you like. But stay the eff off FB, OK?

theuncertainty

I felt much better after picking up DS and making breakfast-for-dinner. Can I just say my kid is awesomely goofy. He re-enacted his 'glorious face-planting fail' while playing lacrosse in afterschool. I can't imagine not being able to see him for 3 years.

I can't believe what a %#*€| AXH is that he wouldn't do anything he had to in order to be able to see him. I'm not really complaining about not having to send DS over to AXH. I just don't understand.

Yeah, I've blocked him on FB, again, so I can't see his stupidity. While there, I got to see my cousin's video of her little 4yo girl learning to skate. (She tried figure skates first and hated it, but is spectacular in hockey skates!) A much better use of FB.

LemonGirl

My daughters dad plays those same games. Can't change him.... I just feel bad for my kids. They deserve so much better! Wish I'd showed them that sooner!

Rant away! No one can push my buttons like that ex does. I'm sure it's similar for you...

theuncertainty

Very true. He's pretty much the only person who I react to with all-out, white-hot, blinding rage. I'm getting better at not going there; or at least the instances are way fewer and further between. But this time, it was ALL me. Well, he's the stupidhead who took a trip out-of-state, but I was the one who went looking when I know - I KNOW - that there is absolutely no reason he could have had that would have been a good one. Bleah.

I'm much better now.

But he's still a stupidhead.

Eauchiche

I must confess looking at a website my ex belongs to, just to eliminate some BS.

He never has any money, but managed to take his RV out of town for a long weekend, to the tune of $300 for fuel and RV fees.

This is also useful documentation, should I ever need it.

Posting on the web is a permanent record unless deleted. Should give us all pause....

Duckygirl1

I went cold turkey on FB. Not easy, but a very important part of my recovery. My XAB blocked me long ago then deleted his page. Which was good. I had a habit of going on to just make myself angry when I felt like I was softening up. I was off for months then went back on out of curiosity only to see the same crap from the same people. Same cat update, messy bathroom selfie, same circular political arguments. BUT it is dandy for keeping records in situations. So let the stupid heads the rope and let them hang themselves in court!

LemonGirl

My ex (same on mentioned above), tried to take things from my FB and use them against me! My posts were about something totally different and none of his business! I have since blocked him, his whole family, and others that I know know him and I both... but recently I just deleted my account. He creates fake profiles just to spy on me :-(

Scary business in the online world...

NWGRITS

I screenshot all the check-ins and flights my exhole takes back and forth from FL to NY. He claims he can't pay CS, so I have alllllll this stuff and our conversations saved for court. He was just at a fancy schmancy steakhouse last night. I know he's spending money because he can't NOT spend money. He always has to impress everyone. His hole to dig. But I don't get caught up in it. I just screenshot and go. But if you don't have any need to keep in contact (kids), then let it go. Unfriend, delete, whatever.