I have not seen Katchie around

Old 02-05-2015, 07:49 AM
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Oh Katchie- I'm so sorry-- what a miserable evening!!

Ugh...

I don't really have anything to add except- this guy is really losing. wow- I wish he could realize what he is doing to you.

I hope you have a good day today and that the sun shines in your neck of the woods.

Hugs girlie
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:23 AM
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Oh Katchie, I'm so sorry!! I was so hopeful for you after your last update, I know you have to be all the more disappointed after that experience. (((((hugs))))

And I 2nd the thyroid testing, so glad you're getting it checked!! My hair was thinning again (terribly) & once I got my meds adjusted to the new, correct dosage it started thickening up in just a few weeks.
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:33 AM
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Katchie - I am so sorry he relapsed. I know how frustrating that can be.

On the flip side of this (trying to see the positive), you should be very proud of how you handled the situation.

In my book, you did awesome!
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Old 02-05-2015, 09:03 AM
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I agree with Thumper; it's probably stress.

And what to do about either walking out or engaging in a drunk conversation... I like what Godismyrock said about having a conversation boundary. If he has been drinking, then no talking. I hate those circular conversations. ((Highs)) Katchie!
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Old 02-05-2015, 09:36 AM
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I'm so sorry, Katchie - I hope you have a much better day today!
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Old 02-05-2015, 10:50 AM
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I'm going over to g'mothers to start the cleaning process.
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Old 02-05-2015, 11:19 AM
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Katchie I went through a very stressful period in my life and my hair started to thin also. It grew back quite nicely after things settled back down and I'm sure yours will too.

Maybe this is your body's way of telling you to take better care of it? Get more rest, try to eat healthier. Maybe explore some relaxation techniques or indulge in massage!
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Old 02-05-2015, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Katchie View Post
Im sure come tomorrow, should I hear from him, he won't even admit he drank. We will all be the crazy ones.

Gosh how I hate being accused that I am crazy. After so many years, finally I don't try to insist that I'm NOT. It's a tough one, that's for sure.
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Old 02-05-2015, 02:54 PM
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Thumper, I agree with flipping the switch. Same for me. Thousand times a night I would say the serenity prayer when I lived with my XAH. I haven't said it once since I moved in my place almost 3 months ago.

Katchie- You and your boys will SOAR!!
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Old 02-05-2015, 03:49 PM
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I'm very thankful tonight is my CR group. My lungs feel full of bleach fumes from scrubbing and crying at the house all day. I just want it to all go away. I hate hope that's dashed as soon as I allow myself to feel it.
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Old 02-05-2015, 04:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Katchie View Post
I'm very thankful tonight is my CR group. My lungs feel full of bleach fumes from scrubbing and crying at the house all day. I just want it to all go away. I hate hope that's dashed as soon as I allow myself to feel it.
Hugs Katchie.

Hope can be a tricky thing, especially when dealing with an alcoholic. I did not reply to your thread about hope the other day because I did not want to be your Debbie Downer. With my knowledge of A's, I would not believe/trust/hope that he gets better right now. I would not take him at face value until he has substantial (over 6 months, but ideally over a year) sober AND recovery time. Until then, he has the mind of an A.

The more you engage him, the more confused you can become.

XOXO
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:11 PM
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Ohhhh those conversations with your A where they argue that they don't have a problem.

I remember the moment it came to me how insane I was to have the same conversation with him over and over and over. I don't ever want to forget that. Up until till that time I didn't know I had a choice. I finally decided. I had no idea what the next step was. I just knew in that moment that the merry go round would go around for a long time and I didn't have to ride it any longer.

I did what was best for me and told him to do the same.

It was an empowering moment that didn't happen overnight. Thanks to Al Anon and SR I grew one step at a time. I'm so grateful for a HP that shows us the way.

Katchie, I am so sorry you are hurting. Sending you strength and courage. Please remember that God has greater things planned than you can even imagine.
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:13 PM
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Thinking about you girlie-

I hope your celebrate recovery group is one for the books tonight--

I will admit--- you sound like you are getting pretty depressed lately. (?)

I mean, what are your thoughts on moving into the other house you mentioned? Is that thought looming ever more closely?

Ugh-- yes hope is scary when you are married to an A.

a million hugs to you tonight--- You are such a good mother and your husband has no clue what he is about to lose.
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:37 PM
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CR was great. Just another million tears bawled with people that understand. My sweet neighbor saved me by taking me to a movie after CR. Of course that didn't prevent AH from calling to just "check in" before he goes to bed. When he couldn't get ahold of me he called one of my sons; of course not one of the adopted boys, but my youngest bio son.

I do feel a little bit depressed, but its my own fault. I had a glimpse of the real him and I took it hook line and sinker. I really new better. It makes me angry. I felt like I was making such good headway. I don't know.

I still think moving to my g'mothers old house could be a good move. The plumbing is fixed and I called someone to give me an estimate on replacing the back sliding door thats cracked and missing a lock as well as the badly cracked window over the kitchen sink. I bleached/scrubbed the old cast iron tub and the pink tile, replaced the back toilet that was so bad there was no way in heck I would stick my hand down there to clean it!!! My step dad hadn't flushed it in 2 years! He hadn't fixed the plumbing that leaked all under the house so he just didn't flush and then decided he would just go to the quick shop to use their bathroom down the street. GROSS! But I will get it in shape. Talked to the boys about moving there and of course none are keen on that idea but would rather be with me than stay here with their dad. Smart.

I learned earlier today that my dad is coming to town. My AH doesn't know this and I pray when we go see my kids play tomorrow night that my dad doesn't say anything to him or try to lecture him. I wouldn't put it past him. Praying things don't get real interesting.

Thank you guys for always being here; don't know what I'd do without all of you! HUGS!!
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:47 PM
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One day at a time Girl Friend.... One day at a time!!

You can do this. Make sure that the locks work before you move into the new home. You need to feels safe, even having boys. You have to be safe.
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:55 PM
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Originally Posted by maia1234 View Post
One day at a time Girl Friend.... One day at a time!!

You can do this. Make sure that the locks work before you move into the new home. You need to feels safe, even having boys. You have to be safe.
Thank you, and I will. I'm thinking about the possibility of putting an alarm on the home and perhaps some wildlife cameras since it's not in the best neighborhood; they take great shots. I also have my trusty side arm.
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Old 02-05-2015, 09:39 PM
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Don't be too hard on yourself for being depressed-- let's not forget that this IS your husband. I mean, come on. We'd be lying to ourselves if we said we NEVER got hopeful.

It really sounds like you have a good support system around you (in real life). I am glad you do. It sounds like you need to have more treats to the movies and just time to do FUN stuff.

I bet you are looking forward to gardening here in a few months.

You have the RIGHT to be depressed- just be sure to surround yourself with people who can pull you out of it.

I wouldn't mind if your AH got a lecture from dad --but for YOUR sake and sanity- I will pray for a quiet, peaceful evening for you.
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Old 02-05-2015, 09:41 PM
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Just dropping off some hugs for you!
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Old 02-05-2015, 09:49 PM
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I do feel a little bit depressed, but its my own fault. I had a glimpse of the real him and I took it hook line and sinker. I really new better. It makes me angry. I felt like I was making such good headway. I don't know.
Big hugs, Katchie. This stuff isn't easy. It's easy to be hopeful that they're getting help and that we'll be able to work recovery programs paralleling theirs. I think that's what a lot of people want after a little while, especially since you already had that for a good portion of last year.

My hair was falling out a LOT last year and I chalked some of it up to hormones but once my youngest turned a year I knew that it was stress instead of hormones. A multi vitamin with biotin and an additional collagen supplement have really helped (and it's doing great things to my nails too!). Therapy helps with my stress but that takes a lot longer to work for me and I was worried about going bald.
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Old 02-05-2015, 09:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Stung View Post
Big hugs, Katchie. This stuff isn't easy. It's easy to be hopeful that they're getting help and that we'll be able to work recovery programs paralleling theirs. I think that's what a lot of people want after a little while, especially since you already had that for a good portion of last year.

My hair was falling out a LOT last year and I chalked some of it up to hormones but once my youngest turned a year I knew that it was stress instead of hormones. A multi vitamin with biotin and an additional collagen supplement have really helped (and it's doing great things to my nails too!). Therapy helps with my stress but that takes a lot longer to work for me and I was worried about going bald.
I noticed when I go see my therapist for an hour, the next day I feel wiped out and exhausted. Its weird. I'm going to go by our local health food store and talk to the folks about supplements. They've always been very helpful.
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