Why I am here......
 

I was once frightened, embarrassed and scared, full of fear, hurt and pain. When I first reached out for help and attended Alanon meetings my first friend asked me, "Why are you here?".

The answer was obvious, my husband is an alcoholic.

Time went on - I kept coming back, feeling pulled to my meetings...

Again she asked me "Why are you here?". So I just kept sharing my stories, and feelings...moving forward.....

Now the same friend, who had become my sponsor by now, asked me again "Why are YOU here?" And then it dawned on me - I was not here for my alcoholic or for my mother - I was here for ME, for MY feelings and what I wanted from MY program....

I am here to find peace, support, serenity, understanding, a safe place to share, encouragement, love, friendship.

So dig deep down.....Why are YOU here???? No need to share if you don't feel like it - just thought I would put that question out there, to get us all thinking....

:tyou for reading!

This is a wise post Trigger.

Making that turn in understanding really is a big indicator that one is on their path.

I'm here for me. SR has been a very useful tool and I practice giving ESH. I fail. But I've gotten a lot better!

Awesome post

I am here because I have been affected by the disease of alcoholism & addiction ~

my thoughts, life and emotions are changed because of these diseases

For the past 11.5 years I have searched, prayed & sought to change me & my life to a healthier path through Al-Anon, SoberRecovery and most of all the power of the God of my understanding

I'm here because I want & deserve better ~

wishing the same for each of you ~

Came for understanding. Searching for serenity. Needing inner peace to deal with what life is showing me. Finding compassion. Finding paths to better understanding. Sharing a burden too heavy for me to bear alone.

That's weird because this is just what I needed to hear today.

I wonder sometimes why I come here. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better not to hear the sadness, the frustration and the desperation that is expressed here. Like it is bringing me down. I was asking myself shouldn't I do other things (which I do also) to keep my mind OFF of this? My husband doesn't do any kind of support group/forum. He said he just handles things differently (probably why he has high blood pressure, really). I think he holds things in. But then he also grew up with an alcoholic mom and a drug addict brother so who knows?

Anyway, it was on my mind lately so your post was timely for me.

Thanks, Kari

I am here for myself. To work the program and keep moving forward.

My husband is the alcoholic in my life.

It's been a tough road. If I had known 15 years ago what I know now about the disease who knows where I would be.

We have three beautiful children, I am here for myself and for them too.

Al anon and SR keep me sane. Keep coming back! It really helps

Take care of YOU...all the best Phiz

I'm here because I'm searching for help for my son, but coming to understand that I can't provide that for him. I need to be here because of me. The toll that his alcoholism has taken on our family is immeasurable. Thank you all for being here.

My answer is short and simple...to gain more knowledge. Knowledge makes us stronger and wiser.

I thought I was here "because of" my AH. Then I wondered at how much more my life with an AF played into it.

But I stayed for Me. I realized very quickly that what I was reading wasn't a bunch of negative "You can't change him" talk, but affirmation that I have 100% control over myself & how I move forward in life & I could start making those changes right now. This second.

I stay because I'm not done learning. And if I things that I share help others in any way, that's a bonus. I also have a tremendous amount of respect for a lot of the long-time posters here & in a way this has come to be a sort of extended cyber-family that never fails to rally around me in my lowest moments.

:tyou:You_Rock_

i found SR while looking for help for my son. i stay because it is such an amazing resource for my healing. FireSprite said it.....

so, so, so grateful for each and every one here who shares their story and floored to think of the understanding, education and comfort which this community spreads across the globe! kinda awesome huh!?

thanks KTT!

Why are you here???

I am here to share how I had wasted 34 years of my life trying to "fix" another person.
I am here to share with you what I did wrong.
I am here to share with you what I read here and what I can do right.
I am here to share with you how in the last year my life is so completely different from what it was, because of alanon and SR
I am here to share with you how I have changed to be a better person.

That is why I am here!!

I came here to "fix" my then relapsed alcoholic husband.
While here I found out I had a lot of issues that I needed to work on forget fixing him.
I stay here to share my ES&H, and to learn daily of how I can better my life. Its working.

.....Why are YOU here???? ......because I need a center place for me that does not spin. or scream or have problems.. my hubby was the reason I jumped on this band wagon... but I need this so much every day.. of the week.. me yes it is all about ME... for I am the one here .. and all of you Help to make me stronger.. ardy...

I've been reading some of the stickies again today. There is so much great stuff up there so I'm going to be sharing it all over the board ;)

I came here in a crisis. The FOG was immense. I had hit my bottom with my life and I knew I needed help to get straight. I was way to lost to go it alone and I'm forever thankful for finding SR. I stay here because I want to be continue to grow and be the person I want to be. No back sliding! I want to be the coffee bean .....and here is where I past the first sticky link ;)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ld-sticky.html

I absolutely LOVE this!!!! We are all so alike yet so different - keep 'em coming folks!!

:c011:

I came here to learn how to make my husband stop drinking.
I'm still here almost 9 years later because this place helped me realize that I couldn't do that -- but that I could and had a right to take care of myself and my children.
I'm still here because I want to provide the same love and support I received to other people.
And I'm still here because I think somewhere I've accepted that recovery is life-long, that I'm never "fixed" and "done" and "back to normal" but that I can always learn from others on the same path.

I also came here looking for information on how to get my ABF to quit drinking, and the odds of that happening.

WOW. I got half of the information I came here seeking :e058:

Now, I am here for support and strength and knowledge for myself - which will hopefully help me to propel myself into a much more peaceful and less stress environment and existence!

:tyou

The pain just got too great, I couldn't stand being in my skin any longer. What I found in Alanon (and AA), was a path to serenity and self-love. I started out because I thought someone else was driving me nuts. Turns out it was me all along. Thanks for the beautiful post!

Just reading thru the thread again, they are all awesome!

Thanks for sharing peeps!

Take care!!

I originally came here because I realized my husband had a serious addiction problem and I had NO CLUE WHAT TO DO! I was scared -- that was a big emotion for me at the time.

Then I took a huge break because I went into denial again and wanted to live my life as if everything was going to be okay.

It wasn't.

I came back again the week of Christmas because he went on a crazy bender again and I GOT IT (again) that he has a serious addiction problem and I am NOT NOT NOT okay. I was scared, and this time, I was really ANGRY, too. Massive amounts of trust have been broken, I have felt so hurt and betrayed, I was on the verge of going towards divorce, and my life was COMPLETELY unmanageable.

I don't know how I originally found it, but I can imagine I was looking for a drug recovery forum so I could "talk" to people who were dealing with this stuff. I didn't just want to read articles. I wanted to interact and really get help.

Great thread..thanks for starting it!