Quitting Alcohol for me?
 

In the light of everything coming to a head in my own journey with having come from alcoholic parents, to a laundry list of bad relationships, to my own experimentations and abuses or possible addictions with drugs and codependency.... I have had this indescribable feeling that I just need to stop drinking alcohol altogether. It has brought soooo much pain into my life. I'm not a heavy drinker... I usually want to pass out after 3/4 beers and I can't say that I ever truly feel all fun when I am drinking... It just seems counterproductive to what I'm dealing with to partake in it anymore. I live with my mom who has taken on to drinking up to 10 beers a night to cope with the loss of my step dad just shy of two years ago.... and we lost him to liver cancer because of his drinking.
I never wanted to admit that I may just need to give it up altogether. I fuel drawn to it in a way that scares me... that someday I might become my mother. And right now I am determined to set the course right for the rest of my life and my two daughters.

Having said all that, I am going cold for at least a year just to challenge myself. I enjoy challenging myself. I want to know what it's like to live a sober life. I want to know if it will actually help me drop a little weight. I want to know that I'm not waivering in my decision to leave my xabf and to finally deal with my codependent relationship with my mom.

Today is day one. And I am stoked!

HMA
Good for you for having all that awareness.
I am all-addictions and a dependent type myself.
I went to AA and let the Power in the fellowship remove the alcohol then I really began my journey.
It's not about how often I drank it's about why I drank and what happens when i drink.
I wish you all the best in your process

HMA, that's a great experiment for anyone to try. You don't have to be an alcoholic to benefit from it, and if alcohol isn't a big thing in your life you might want to keep going, or just leave open the option to say toast someone with champagne now and then, or have a beer on a hot day.

Ideally that's how alcohol should be treated but some of us just can't stop at 1 or 2.

Yes. Thanx! :)

I decided that (one of) my New Year resolution(s) was going to be not drinking.

I don't drink much. I'm pretty overweight, but I can drink 4-5 drinks and not feel a thing, which worries me. I haven't had a drink since December. And I could probably list every drink I had in 2014, it was that infrequent.

I think part of me wants to get the ball rolling for my X. My brain knows it's not going to make a difference for him, but my heart how can I say anything about his substance abuse if I'm drinking?

My dad is an alcoholic who has been sober my entire life. My mom drinks responsibly. I have a good shot that I will end up on the wrong side of the bottle. I'm not going to risk it.

If you're not an alcoholic, then giving up drinking shouldn't be too terribly much of a challenge. If you find that it is, there is a lot of great support out there to help you.

I think you're making a wise decision--alcohol creates a lot of problems even for non-alcoholics. Nobody NEEDS it in his/her life.

Me too... It's one of the reasons all of this feels so heavy to me. And I'd just like to be done with it.

Lexie, you're right! I'm pretty confident I'll manage, but I do have a small worry in the back of my mind that I may actually struggle at some point. I'm super curious to know.

Day two =-)

And as always, thank you for the support everyone! It is truly a blessing!

I agree! When RAH quit drinking, I had been doing my fair share of drinking right alongside him. I spent a few months questioning whether I was missing the signs of addiction in myself so I gave it up for a while.

I discovered that my addiction tendencies are food-based (sugar, binging, etc.) which is something I had sort of known already, but saw much more clearly based on all that I learned about being an ACoA & my own food history. This has become a major part of my recovery over the last year, now that I feel like I have my Recovery Legs under me & I'm well past the Early Recovery stages.

I still love getting together with my friends for a few drinks at the beach or a Girls Night but I also go many weeks/months without thinking about alcohol much at all. Good Luck!

HMA- That's awesome that you are doing this challenge. Besides feeling better I am sure you are going to be so proud of yourself. Congratulations for making that step.

When I moved into my new place on November 8th, I had a one bottle of beer that I brought with me. (my x was not allowed to drink my "beer" because he would drink it all) The next week was my birthday and my friends bought me a 6 pack of "my beer". So guess what I have in my refrigerator today, a six pack and 1 beer. For 2 1/2 months I have not had one of those beers. It's sad, but living with an alcoholic has really taken the fun out of having a drink.

Anyway Congratulations on your journey, let us know how you are doing!!

Way to go! You should feel really good about yourself. And what a gift you are giving to your daughters! I too was not feeling comfortable about my alcohol intake and decided to give it up too for a while. I feel like such a hypocrite...complain that my AH has issues and there I was drinking a glass of wine...good job!

Hi ...... I'm sober 23 years. Early sobriety (the first year) was very tough for me because all these feelings came up and I had no anesthesia for them. I felt loneliness, boredom, fear and had very low self-esteem. Maybe some people can get sober on their own but I'm not one of them. If it weren't for the support of the fellowship of AA I wouldn't be here today. Doing the 12 Steps and cognitive therapy changed me a great deal but it took a lot of time and hard work. But during this time I was growing, doing positive things for myself instead of the self-destructive action of daily drinking.

Good luck!

Yeah, I don't drink much either anymore. There's just no enjoyment in it for me whatever. And it's triggering for the kids, too.

Step 12 AA clearly states recovered alcoholics never put down drinking as an institution, drinkers wont stand for that attitude, we'd only turn then away.

So I have no problem with alcohol or anyone who drinks it.

Each man or woman should decide for themselves if they're an AA but let me tell you many Alanons eventually add AA to their program just as AAs cross over to Alanon.

If any Alanon believes he or she is also an alcoholic, be true to who you are, not what you think you should be.

I take responsibility for doing whatever I need to to get well so I'm in 3 fellowships.

Thank you everyone! I totally agree that one, SUGAR is an addictions. I read a book once from a woman who did a ton of research and tried to persuade the scientific community to adopt the belief that sugar is the hidden addiction. It was a pretty radical idea, but it contains a lot of truth nonetheless.

And the part about addiction e behaviors crossing from codependent to drugs or alcohol and vice versa. I agree with that too. It seems to me that it all stems from poor coping skills, negative learned behaviors, and some need to fill a void. Time to be okay with just me. I think that's the first step in becoming a whole, healthy person.

I think your instincts with this are right on. As someone whose alcoholism developed much later in life (mid-late 40s), I can tell you that you will never regret giving up drinking sooner rather than later.

My mom isn't an alcoholic but it runs in my family. I don't have a problem with drinking at all. My impulsive inclinations are geared towards shopping and vacationing. Which is tricky because in some circles those behaviors are applauded. I guess the same could be said of drinking though. But like you, I'm aware of this behavior and have myself on a budget that I try hard to stick to.

Good for you for being aware of your own behaviors and doing something about them! I think I drank alcohol 3 or 4 times in total last year. No big deal for me, a drink doesn't make anything feel better. But a brand new, amazing and exclusive pair of heels that fits me just right when I'm having a bad day, well that makes me feel good in a way that it totally shouldn't. Limits and healthy coping methods are vitally important to living a healthy life.

There's a wonderful priest who does tons of work on addiction and codependency. Fr. Richard Rohr.
He says codependency underlies addictions and I have found that is definitely my story.
And yes, sugar affects the brain. OA's don't eat it because they become addicted to the high.
Each one us has tondo our own work so we can recognize how different substances affect us. If it blocks us, it needs to he removed.
For me, God allowed me to keep each of my addictions for a certain amount of time. When it was time to give each one up I was in a ton of emotional pain beforehand because the change was needed.
But we need something to put in it's place (a connection with God - hence the 12 Steps.)