bonbon

I just want to go back, stay away from all of this here. I want to go back to the life I had down there for that one week. Being away felt so good it almost hurts to be here. What the hell do I have here? A large amount of bad memories. Thats for sure. Part of me wants to start over again, in a new place, new discoveries. Where nobody knows me but my name. Is that bad to feel that way?

Been another one of those days.....
Damn how I miss it there.

Big Hugs!

prodigal

Boy, can I relate to what you're going through. I often live inside my head remembering when I had my own little apartment. It was a time when I came home and it was only me and my cat I had to take care of. I loved the sense of freedom of cooking dinner when I felt like it or watching whatever I wanted on t.v. It was a financial struggle, but I didn't have to listen to some ranting alcoholic's abuse.

If there's any way you can leave your current situation, go for it. Take a risk. Life is very, very short and we all owe it to ourselves to lead it in a way that will bring us the most satisfaction and fulfillment.

Daffodil

Hi bonbon, I've missed you and the dancing elephant.

Your post sounds just like I used to feel when I would come back home from a really good al-anon round-up or conference. Sometimes it is so hard to stay in reality , isn't it? I wanted the "party" to go on forever. I know today that moving to where the "party" was just a geograhific on my part. I also know today I take me with everywhere I go. So here I plant myself, work on my recovery, and practice the principals of al-anon to the best of my abilities.

I still dream of the "great move" but not nearly as often as I used to. I know for me today that I can "let it begin with me" where ever I am.

Sending Happy thoughts your way.

eveie

I miss exactly what you said, prod!!! I miss my own place, having my freedom, boy what an idiot I was to move in with this roommate to deal with abuse almost every day, sometimes every hour, I love the times hes at work for the peace and quiet, its like a black cloud come in the door right about 3 o clock! Im just praying my finacial aide goes thru and hope yall pray for me too, because that is my way out of this situation!!!! The only way I will have the money to get out! I go to that plan in my head when hes here, but for now just concentrating on reading the literature, going to meetings, and to the first post? I did that, hun, But.... I went from the pan into the fire... but am learning no more manipulations, no more getting taken advantage of this is MY LIFE, and I am learning to drive again....Prayers, and hugs!!!

CrazyRed

I'm praying for you.

Magichappens

bonbon,
I wish sometimes that life was always good, but life can be good most of the time if we chose to work at it. No matter where we go, we take us with us, so it is important to find out what is at the heart of our unhappiness, and try to heal that before we move on. The memory of your beautiful vacation will always be with you, and maybe you can do it on a more regular basis. Life is always going to have challenges and obstacles. We are learning to navigate it better. Hugs, Magic