Im sitting here in the parking lot
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Free, I am very proud of you to have this plan in place. I know you can do this.
Stay safe and sound and check in with us so we know you and the kids are safe!
Much love coming your way.
Love that you are locked and loaded LOL!
Stay safe and sound and check in with us so we know you and the kids are safe!
Much love coming your way.
Love that you are locked and loaded LOL!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
free, I think you are doing really good today.
Just out of curiosity? How did it feel talking to DV? A lot of people here are afraid to do that. Wondering what your experience was? Concentrate though first on what you need to do tonight, before answering that question.
Just know how deeply I care about you, and I will be checking in on you all night.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy
Just out of curiosity? How did it feel talking to DV? A lot of people here are afraid to do that. Wondering what your experience was? Concentrate though first on what you need to do tonight, before answering that question.
Just know how deeply I care about you, and I will be checking in on you all night.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Free, may you prevail and build a home of peace and safety for you and all of the kids who look to you!
Great job. You have really come here and learned and soared. You were really ready and deserve a life free of such crazy paranoid drunken drama.
Great job. You have really come here and learned and soared. You were really ready and deserve a life free of such crazy paranoid drunken drama.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Originally Posted by CodeJob 
Free, may you prevail and build a home of peace and safety for you and all of the kids who look to you!
Great job. You have really come here and learned and soared. You were really ready and deserve a life free of such crazy paranoid drunken drama.
Great job. You have really come here and learned and soared. You were really ready and deserve a life free of such crazy paranoid drunken drama.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
And to HONESTLY answer your question Amy, it was "ok" talking to an advocate. She knew a lot about violence and next to nothing about the alcoholic. She kept saying that he needed to be able to have a mature conversation about the effect of his actions on the family. That made me laugh. I actually DID laugh.
2 things I've learned from SR
1. The active alcoholic Very rarely admits the damage they've caused.
2. The active alcoholic is incapable of a mature conversation.
so in that light, it was "ok". But she was helpful. Just a tad naive. Bless her soul.
2 things I've learned from SR
1. The active alcoholic Very rarely admits the damage they've caused.
2. The active alcoholic is incapable of a mature conversation.
so in that light, it was "ok". But she was helpful. Just a tad naive. Bless her soul.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Free,
Tell me again, is the advocate the court appointed advocate for DV, or did you call the DV hotline?
I don't like those responses either. Was that regarding an alcoholic or an abuser. When talking to DV you can somewhat leave out the alcoholic part of it, other then he drinks extremely heavy, and he may be an alcoholic, but concentrate on the abuse part of it.
Alcoholism and Domestic Abuse are 2 different things.
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))
amy
Tell me again, is the advocate the court appointed advocate for DV, or did you call the DV hotline?
I don't like those responses either. Was that regarding an alcoholic or an abuser. When talking to DV you can somewhat leave out the alcoholic part of it, other then he drinks extremely heavy, and he may be an alcoholic, but concentrate on the abuse part of it.
Alcoholism and Domestic Abuse are 2 different things.
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))
amy
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Lots of hugs Free it sounds like you have covered your bases and have a great plan. Just said a prayer for you and your family that he humbly accepts this and moves on without issues. Please keep us up to date.
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I'm not sure who I spoke to. I'll have to get back to you on that. I need to change the subject. I'm heading home from taking oldest son to therapy.
I'm calling on my SR group for another round of support. I am having the talk as soon as I get home. My stomach is just churning. I HAVE TO DO THIS. Please God don't let me chicken out.
I'm calling on my SR group for another round of support. I am having the talk as soon as I get home. My stomach is just churning. I HAVE TO DO THIS. Please God don't let me chicken out.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
ok, backup support is in place. If he is drunk, or drinking, take care of you and your children first, no talking. If he is coherent, no JADEing. Keep your phone on you at all times.
here with you.
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))amy
here with you.
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))amy
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Well, about three minuets into the "discussion"- he told me I was "********" and no ******* way was he going to stay at a hotel.
He told me I was just using him to fix up my house and that he would leave when he got his first full paycheck.
I told him I wanted his kids to stay with me. He said- good for you.
So...no violence, just an ass load of immature stabs. He claimed I was kicking him out-
I told him (and I am proud of this, VERY proud) "no, I'm simply saying that you cannot come home drunk and get verbally abusive with me or around the kids. I said you can stay at a motel so that in the event you want to engage in that type of behavior. But you CANNOT do that here anymore."
he said- but it's ok for you to show you breasts to my brother... ( just for the record- he is saying this because he thought the shirt i was wearing was inappropriate and that was two years ago)
I just gave up, told him it was impossible to have a mature conversation with him and that I was calling it.
So, I understand that a lot can happen between now and then...so i'm not sure where to go from here.
I did it though!! I really did it!!! I can't believe I did it! Wow!
He told me I was just using him to fix up my house and that he would leave when he got his first full paycheck.
I told him I wanted his kids to stay with me. He said- good for you.
So...no violence, just an ass load of immature stabs. He claimed I was kicking him out-
I told him (and I am proud of this, VERY proud) "no, I'm simply saying that you cannot come home drunk and get verbally abusive with me or around the kids. I said you can stay at a motel so that in the event you want to engage in that type of behavior. But you CANNOT do that here anymore."
he said- but it's ok for you to show you breasts to my brother... ( just for the record- he is saying this because he thought the shirt i was wearing was inappropriate and that was two years ago)
I just gave up, told him it was impossible to have a mature conversation with him and that I was calling it.
So, I understand that a lot can happen between now and then...so i'm not sure where to go from here.
I did it though!! I really did it!!! I can't believe I did it! Wow!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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free,
you did good. many (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) to you, but I think this is round one.
He's going to sit and stew for awhile and he will come back at you, or he will get passive aggressive and give you the silent treatment. Hoping for the second outcome.
Round 2, if it comes to that and I hope it doesn't, first make sure you have that cell phone on you and ready at all times to call 911. It would be more accusations of how you used him, how you are a wh0re, how you are trying to take his kids from him.
Remember, he is not using this time to calm down, and reflect, he is using it to build up more ammunition as to what a waste of life that you are, and how "YOU" messed up his life.
Put your battle gear on, and remember, do not give any information to the enemy, and he is that enemy right now.
I really would be surprised if he pulled a "hoover" attempt right now, he sees you are gaining strength and he needs to take you down.
Hope I am not coming across as paranoid????
(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
amy
keep in touch
you did good. many (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) to you, but I think this is round one.
He's going to sit and stew for awhile and he will come back at you, or he will get passive aggressive and give you the silent treatment. Hoping for the second outcome.
Round 2, if it comes to that and I hope it doesn't, first make sure you have that cell phone on you and ready at all times to call 911. It would be more accusations of how you used him, how you are a wh0re, how you are trying to take his kids from him.
Remember, he is not using this time to calm down, and reflect, he is using it to build up more ammunition as to what a waste of life that you are, and how "YOU" messed up his life.
Put your battle gear on, and remember, do not give any information to the enemy, and he is that enemy right now.
I really would be surprised if he pulled a "hoover" attempt right now, he sees you are gaining strength and he needs to take you down.
Hope I am not coming across as paranoid????
(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
amy
keep in touch
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