My gut instincts are always right
 

Even though my AH tries to gaslight me. He's been going to meetings and making a big show of using the breath tester every time he comes in the door to show me he's not drinking, even though I didn't ask him to. He did that twice tonight, was 0.00, but he went ouside for a bit. When he came in, Just by the way he was talking, I had a really strong feeling that he had had a drink. When I told him that and asked if he could show me he hadn't, he started quacking: I can't believe you! This is ridiculous! Are you serious??!

He found a room to rent the other day. I was considering letting him stay so we could work out some financial issues, but I told him he had to go. I also said some hurtful things because I feel so angry and betrayed and sad. He seems willing to go. I can't imagine feeling any worse than I do now once he's gone.

Sorry for the rant. I think what infuriates me the most is that he tries to make me doubt myself and my deep instincts, which have always been right on the money.

Good for you that you stood your ground and kept your word about what happens if he drinks. You can always make amends to your HP for whatever was said, but other than that, way to stay firm.

So glad you didn't deny your guts!

They are a sneaky people those A's! My ExABF who is also drug addict could fake a whiz quiz in a doctors office with a nurse in the room. Good for you on the follow through!

It's funny how our instincts are always right isn't it? We just need to learn to trust them. I know for me, after living in alcoholic hell for the last many years my trust was so broken I couldn't even trust myself. Standing up for yourself like this is a GOOD thing.

In these relationships we lose sight of our instincts because the A is telling us how we feel, what to do, what's up, and what's down. Learning to trust our instincts again is a big step in recovery. FWIW, asking him if he's been drinking is pointless. You already know deep down, so nothing would really change if the words did come out of his mouth. What would you do with that confirmation? The behavior is the problem, not the words. :)

Good for you for honoring your instincts!!!

You hear a lot of people say they have a "sixth sense." I don't really believe that, I think that those who are in tune w/their instincts and are willing to listen to them are those people. Good for you. Say what you mean and mean what you say. He was quacking.

I am sorry you are hurting, but glad you will have some peace in your future.
XXX

I could tell if my ex-fiance was drinking the moment he walked through the door before ever even saying a word. So many times I prayed I was wrong and that my instincts were wrong, but they never were. Initially he'd sometimes try to deny it, and I'd wonder if maybe I was off, but eventually he'd always admit it and not once was I wrong. I wish I was a few times, but not once.

Always trust those instincts. When we were dating before living together, I'd question my instincts. When we'd speak on the phone, I KNEW he'd been drinking, but he'd show up 2 hours later and seem completely sober.

Well, after living together, I'd watch him drink massive amounts of whiskey and then either take a nap or take a shower and walk back down the stairs like he'd never touched a drop. Confirmation that my instincts were right on the mark.

The ways they learn to hide their drinking amazes me. If they'd use half of that energy towards straightening their lives out and seeking recovery, they'd be well on the road to a better life.

Sad.