tonsoffaith

Good morning!

So, AH went into treatment for the first time this past October. He relapsed 1 month to the day after he was out and then again over Christmas and has been drinking (sneaking of course) since then. So this weekend I told him he had to go. He is staying with friends until the 1st when, hopefully, he will have an apartment. I told him that he can't live with us until he has been clean at least 6 months, we have been going to family counseling and he has to be going to meetings several times per week and have a sponsor. he has a lot of work to do.

Here's my question, my daughter seems okay....she's 11. Do you all recommend counseling anyway?

Celticgirl

I do. I'm sort of in the same boat, but I think counseling is great for everyone.

Sotiredofitall

I believe counseling would be wonderful. It gives kids a neutral/safe place to discuss their fears without being influenced by one parent or the other. I sure wish I had had the benefit of a neutral adult when I was growing up!

Justincredible

I never thought of how each parent could influence the childs sharing without even realizing it.

Well put. I am in the same boat but on the other side. I could not get sober in my toxic marriage and now we are separated and I am sober. The kids 6 and 9 act ok going from moms house to dads house, but they probably could use some counselling

Best of luck Tonsoffaith, keep us posted.

Katchie

Good for you, knowing what you want and doing it.

My kids are older and I've tried to get them to go to alateen or counseling and they all flat refuse. Although, my eldest called me from college one day to tell me that he had shared with his rowing coach about his dad's alcoholism. The coach responded by letting him know his wife is a counselor who specializes in addiction and codependency and encouraged him to meet with her. My eldest said he may do just that and I encouraged him to do so if he felt he needed it.
I decided mine are old enough to make their own decision here. I leave the channels of communication open to say what ever they need to without feeling like their feelings are bad.

hopeful4

Yes, yes I do. I have children around that same age. My 9 yr old pretty much always seems fine. You would not believe the things that have actually come to surface during counseling.

Jupiters

"seems fine...seems okay"
Never know what it bubbling beneath that "seemingly" ok exterior.
I vote counseling

Hawkeye13

I "seemed fine" too growing up in my alcoholic home, but I wasn't.

Full of guilt and pain and mistrust which simmered for years.