Omg he is all over FB kissing another woman
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,423
What about the therapy appointment?
Have you made any calls yet?
You still keep trying to reason with addiction and mental illness,
as though you will feel better wresting with his "whys"
Won't help.
Do something that will Jodie
Have you made any calls yet?
You still keep trying to reason with addiction and mental illness,
as though you will feel better wresting with his "whys"
Won't help.
Do something that will Jodie
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Originally Posted by Jodie77 
Is he without conscience?
He left his WIFE and 2 kids for someone.
We aren't unique snowflakes Jodie - I know it sucks to hear.
He will do this again and again AND guess what? again.
He's "Grass is Greener Guy" - this isn't about you. You think it is, but it's not. Nothing about this has anything to do with you. Just like it didn't with his wife and kids and it won't with this next girl.
Have you called around for a counsellor?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Originally Posted by Jodie77
How does he drop me like a one night stand after 5 years....and allow people to post photos of them kissing? Is he without conscience?
That's the best you're ever gonna get, my friend. And no it isn't fair. It isn't good enough, it doesn't make sense, I could go on. I'm sorry about it, but having a different answer to your questions won't change your situation one bit. Only you can decide to do that. I hope you do.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
You made the first step - you called for help 
I'm happy to hear that Jodie. This guy will give you some perspective on this I hope.
stay strong. Stay OFF FB.
Treat yourself today. Are you working? or do you have time off?
Do something nice for JODIE today.
I'm happy to hear that Jodie. This guy will give you some perspective on this I hope.
stay strong. Stay OFF FB.
Treat yourself today. Are you working? or do you have time off?
Do something nice for JODIE today.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
I kinda feel like a broken record but…..
You are applying normal thinking to an abnormal human being. You are applying what you would do, and how you would act, to someone who is not you and doesn't think the way you do.
STOP IT.
He isn't like you. He is an alcoholic and addict. Its ALL he cares about. Read the stories on here - all different and all the same. They all end up doing the same sh!t.
Educate yourself about addiction. I don't think you get it at all. Nothing will stand in the way of the booze and the coke. You stood in the way, so after he gave it a good try for a couple of years to get you on board to allow him to maintain his addiction and have you in his life he realized IT WASN"T HAPPENING and he booted you.
If she has a problem with his drinking and drugging he will leave her in the dirt as well.
They need enablers and co-dependents to function. He will keep going and going and going until he sh!ts himself so badly that he hits that bottom that some of them have to before they get it (even them some do not). There won't be one-single-person left that gives a f*ck about him because he will have trashed and abused every single person he has contact with.
You are applying normal thinking to an abnormal human being. You are applying what you would do, and how you would act, to someone who is not you and doesn't think the way you do.
STOP IT.
He isn't like you. He is an alcoholic and addict. Its ALL he cares about. Read the stories on here - all different and all the same. They all end up doing the same sh!t.
Educate yourself about addiction. I don't think you get it at all. Nothing will stand in the way of the booze and the coke. You stood in the way, so after he gave it a good try for a couple of years to get you on board to allow him to maintain his addiction and have you in his life he realized IT WASN"T HAPPENING and he booted you.
If she has a problem with his drinking and drugging he will leave her in the dirt as well.
They need enablers and co-dependents to function. He will keep going and going and going until he sh!ts himself so badly that he hits that bottom that some of them have to before they get it (even them some do not). There won't be one-single-person left that gives a f*ck about him because he will have trashed and abused every single person he has contact with.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,546
"It takes two people for gossip to hurt you: one to tell the tale and another to carry it to you." I would seriously reconsider friendship with people who'd hurt you like this. maybe take a break from facebook.
I'm it sounds better in it's native tongue, whatever that may be.
True story: I was a cashier in a convenience store. A young woman came through, she was a year behind me in school. Once she had graduated from high school, she was married to a teacher some years her senior who'd been married twice before. She exited the store, and the next customer asked, "Is that Wanda S?" Yes, I told her, it was. She said, "I'm his second wife. I'd warn her what he's really like, but she's not likely to believe me. I didn't believe his first wife, either. He was so wonderful at the beginning, lit my cigarettes, opened doors for me, was the perfect gentleman. Then it all changed."
I'm it sounds better in it's native tongue, whatever that may be.
True story: I was a cashier in a convenience store. A young woman came through, she was a year behind me in school. Once she had graduated from high school, she was married to a teacher some years her senior who'd been married twice before. She exited the store, and the next customer asked, "Is that Wanda S?" Yes, I told her, it was. She said, "I'm his second wife. I'd warn her what he's really like, but she's not likely to believe me. I didn't believe his first wife, either. He was so wonderful at the beginning, lit my cigarettes, opened doors for me, was the perfect gentleman. Then it all changed."
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 494
Seriously, Facebook sucks. Believe it or not, there are many people who live their lives, perfectly fulfilling lives, out of its relentless glare. We have no idea what our exes are doing, or our friends from first or ninth grade, and it's fine. More than fine.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,546
You can take a break. One of my friends did, as her daughter descended into heroin addiction. She's back-for now. I suspect since her daughter's really no better and she herself has just separated from her husband, she may take another.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Originally Posted by redatlanta
I kinda feel like a broken record but…..
You are applying normal thinking to an abnormal human being. You are applying what you would do, and how you would act, to someone who is not you and doesn't think the way you do.
STOP IT.
He isn't like you. He is an alcoholic and addict. Its ALL he cares about. Read the stories on here - all different and all the same. They all end up doing the same sh!t.
Educate yourself about addiction. I don't think you get it at all. Nothing will stand in the way of the booze and the coke. You stood in the way, so after he gave it a good try for a couple of years to get you on board to allow him to maintain his addiction and have you in his life he realized IT WASN"T HAPPENING and he booted you.
If she has a problem with his drinking and drugging he will leave her in the dirt as well.
They need enablers and co-dependents to function. He will keep going and going and going until he sh!ts himself so badly that he hits that bottom that some of them have to before they get it (even them some do not). There won't be one-single-person left that gives a f*ck about him because he will have trashed and abused every single person he has contact with.
You are applying normal thinking to an abnormal human being. You are applying what you would do, and how you would act, to someone who is not you and doesn't think the way you do.
STOP IT.
He isn't like you. He is an alcoholic and addict. Its ALL he cares about. Read the stories on here - all different and all the same. They all end up doing the same sh!t.
Educate yourself about addiction. I don't think you get it at all. Nothing will stand in the way of the booze and the coke. You stood in the way, so after he gave it a good try for a couple of years to get you on board to allow him to maintain his addiction and have you in his life he realized IT WASN"T HAPPENING and he booted you.
If she has a problem with his drinking and drugging he will leave her in the dirt as well.
They need enablers and co-dependents to function. He will keep going and going and going until he sh!ts himself so badly that he hits that bottom that some of them have to before they get it (even them some do not). There won't be one-single-person left that gives a f*ck about him because he will have trashed and abused every single person he has contact with.
Read and RE read this. Over and over.
and deactivate FB for now if you have to.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,423
Originally Posted by Jodie77
I refuse to be on fb anymore. Every weekend new pictures of them are being posted. I feel like I'm going to wake up and none of this actually happened.
Tell your "friends" no updates and get off social networking for now
Well done on getting the appointment--it will help
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Jodie-
It was my hubby's affair that FINALLY got me dealing with the huge elephant in the room, alcohol.
Besides counseling I found a lot of support in Al-Anon from both (The three Cs, and detachment especially). I also found a support group similar to SR for affairs called survivinginfidelity.com helpful.
Finally there is a great book called The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Anderson, Helen (I think that is the author, I know I have the title right) that was really helpful for me in understanding why I could not sleep, eat etc.
Take care of you.
It was my hubby's affair that FINALLY got me dealing with the huge elephant in the room, alcohol.
Besides counseling I found a lot of support in Al-Anon from both (The three Cs, and detachment especially). I also found a support group similar to SR for affairs called survivinginfidelity.com helpful.
Finally there is a great book called The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Anderson, Helen (I think that is the author, I know I have the title right) that was really helpful for me in understanding why I could not sleep, eat etc.
Take care of you.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Originally Posted by Jodie77
I refuse to be on fb anymore. Every weekend new pictures of them are being posted. I feel like I'm going to wake up and none of this actually happened.
But all of this is very, very real. I'm so sorry for your pain, and I'm so very glad you have reached out for help!
Sending warm thoughts and prayers
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by Jodie77
Did all of you heal from your failed relationships even though you thought you would NEVER see the light?
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