Ex coming to my place of business tomorrow
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Ex coming to my place of business tomorrow
To reiterate for our new people, my ex lives 2-1/2 hours away. We have only seen each other 5 times in almost a year, and rarely communicate otherwise.
He is coming to have me take care of him professionally tomorrow. I can ask my associate to see him if it is too uncomfortable for me. I am okay with this otherwise.
My reason for posting, is I am seeing a change in myself. A few months ago, I would have looked forward to seeing him. I guess I have been kicked enough now to dread it instead.
Do you folks think this is a sign that I am moving along in my recovery? It sure feels that way. Thanks!
He is coming to have me take care of him professionally tomorrow. I can ask my associate to see him if it is too uncomfortable for me. I am okay with this otherwise.
My reason for posting, is I am seeing a change in myself. A few months ago, I would have looked forward to seeing him. I guess I have been kicked enough now to dread it instead.
Do you folks think this is a sign that I am moving along in my recovery? It sure feels that way. Thanks!
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
Yes you are finding a new place to view him. You will pass though this phase also and maybe someday be at ease seeing him. I went through the hate stage. You heal through that with time. Then you just become indifferent to them. I mean good or bad is their good or bad, as yours is yours.
I actually have more respect for my XAGF now than I did before. Because I am not getting drug through the crap anymore. They are in a bad way with an addiction. It has to be huge burden. But its no longer our burden.
ENJOY!
I actually have more respect for my XAGF now than I did before. Because I am not getting drug through the crap anymore. They are in a bad way with an addiction. It has to be huge burden. But its no longer our burden.
ENJOY!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
YEA!! I hope you greet him with a big smile and tell him how things are fantastic. You are doing great and have a few hundred good friends that you talk to often. You are doing great and you do have a few hundred good friends!!!
Enjoy yourself tomorrow!!
Enjoy yourself tomorrow!!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Thanks to all you guys!
He is still covered under my health plan at work, thus he is coming here.
I am fully aware that what I am providing for him tomorrow is something he probably needs to pass a DOT physical. Otherwise, he has given me no indicators that he has been interested in me at all this past year.
Yes, I am SO thankful for all you guys. I wish our association were more than just "cyber," but you never know. Could be some day.
He is still covered under my health plan at work, thus he is coming here.
I am fully aware that what I am providing for him tomorrow is something he probably needs to pass a DOT physical. Otherwise, he has given me no indicators that he has been interested in me at all this past year.
Yes, I am SO thankful for all you guys. I wish our association were more than just "cyber," but you never know. Could be some day.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
I don't know your situation. But I am a certified medical examiner for commercial driver exams. Be very careful about what you are providing. I can't think of any situation when I do these exams that would require you to be involved, even from an insurance perspective. If he is looking for documentation for any health issues, that needs to come from his PCP. These exams are now audited by the FMCSA.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I think your attitude is spot on. However, I don't think it's wise to be entangled this way.
My X wanted me to take care of some business that I work in the field, I just don't want to be involved with that.
Just my .02
My X wanted me to take care of some business that I work in the field, I just don't want to be involved with that.
Just my .02
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
He is coming to have me take care of him professionally tomorrow.
my .02 cents, something about that take care of him line, kind of raised the hair on the back of my neck.
Is there anyone else in your organization to handle this matter?
you are doing so well, why do you want to risk your peace of mind?
IMHO, not a good idea.
my .02 cents, something about that take care of him line, kind of raised the hair on the back of my neck.
Is there anyone else in your organization to handle this matter?
you are doing so well, why do you want to risk your peace of mind?
IMHO, not a good idea.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: My Happy Place
Posts: 700
Out of love and concern......
Please let you associate handle it. Be out of the office at that time.
I get that you have had very minimal contact and you are doing great, But
(I'm sorry there has to be a but
)
I have in my mind and heart felt I was A-OK and then BAM
even the tiniest of communication with him, in person, by text, via phone for the simplest of matters sent me into a tailspin I can't explain. I would hate to see that happen to you.
I have no idea about your situation but get him off the health plan as well, there are plenty of other options for him now regarding that.
IMO
Please let you associate handle it. Be out of the office at that time.
I get that you have had very minimal contact and you are doing great, But
(I'm sorry there has to be a but
)I have in my mind and heart felt I was A-OK and then BAM
even the tiniest of communication with him, in person, by text, via phone for the simplest of matters sent me into a tailspin I can't explain. I would hate to see that happen to you.
I have no idea about your situation but get him off the health plan as well, there are plenty of other options for him now regarding that.
IMO
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
A friendly reminder to those of you offering advice.
My original post was to ask if my shift in feelings is in keeping with recovery.
I realize that I might live my life differently than others. Some of you still live with your A. I don't think I could do that, but I don't advise those who do to leave.
I am opting here to take what I need and leave the rest.
Many thanks!
My original post was to ask if my shift in feelings is in keeping with recovery.
I realize that I might live my life differently than others. Some of you still live with your A. I don't think I could do that, but I don't advise those who do to leave.
I am opting here to take what I need and leave the rest.
Many thanks!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
My shared experience words were certainly not meant to offend. so sorry if you took it as such.
i have been around the track on this crazy train more than once, and the simple fact that you are questioning where where you are in your recovery regarding these circumstances , speaks volumes. just my opinion, sorry if it upsets YOU!
Apparently some did not give the answer u were requesting, again no disrespect, but there really isn't too many ways to polish this turd. Addiction is addiction. doesn't matter if they are addicted to alcohol, or we are addicted to them.....
Submitted with respect.
i have been around the track on this crazy train more than once, and the simple fact that you are questioning where where you are in your recovery regarding these circumstances , speaks volumes. just my opinion, sorry if it upsets YOU!
Apparently some did not give the answer u were requesting, again no disrespect, but there really isn't too many ways to polish this turd. Addiction is addiction. doesn't matter if they are addicted to alcohol, or we are addicted to them.....
Submitted with respect.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
To all my friends that posted, wanted to thank you again for your moral support today.
It went very well, and I feel very good about being able to do something to really help, not enable, the one who had been my life partner for 14 years.
We often post here about ignoring words from our addict and watching actions. I think that cuts both ways. I was able to use my skills to relieve suffering, just as I do for all my patients, with no expectations for him. I gave freely and feel very good tonight.
God bless all of you, and thanks again.
It went very well, and I feel very good about being able to do something to really help, not enable, the one who had been my life partner for 14 years.
We often post here about ignoring words from our addict and watching actions. I think that cuts both ways. I was able to use my skills to relieve suffering, just as I do for all my patients, with no expectations for him. I gave freely and feel very good tonight.
God bless all of you, and thanks again.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
Eauchiche:
SOOOO glad things went well!! I think you are doing amazing things!
Don't want to steal the thread but, AMY!! So glad to see you here! I've been searching for comments from you, hoping you would stop back by. Love you girlie!
SOOOO glad things went well!! I think you are doing amazing things!
Don't want to steal the thread but, AMY!! So glad to see you here! I've been searching for comments from you, hoping you would stop back by. Love you girlie!
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