Annoyed, a little mad!
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Annoyed, a little mad!
So I posted in the Newcomers To Recovery section under the advice of one of the moderators that I sent a PM to. They werent able to help me with my question but suggested I try, which I did.
I am getting razzed by a poster for referring to my separated AH as an AH. It is so weird to me. I have been on this forum for years. I was just using it as a description. Poster said it is demeaning and I should just call him my husband. That nobody is my Alcoholic.
I almost felt like I was arguing with separated AH. Anyway, lesson learned. I will stick to this corner of the world where you guys understand me. I just needed to vent this out to you guys because I dont think any of us use the term in a derogatory way, just a way to use acronyms to streamline all the typing and describing.
It is so weird within the same site the dynamic is so different. I feel very safe here with F&F...there, not so much.
I am getting razzed by a poster for referring to my separated AH as an AH. It is so weird to me. I have been on this forum for years. I was just using it as a description. Poster said it is demeaning and I should just call him my husband. That nobody is my Alcoholic.
I almost felt like I was arguing with separated AH. Anyway, lesson learned. I will stick to this corner of the world where you guys understand me. I just needed to vent this out to you guys because I dont think any of us use the term in a derogatory way, just a way to use acronyms to streamline all the typing and describing.
It is so weird within the same site the dynamic is so different. I feel very safe here with F&F...there, not so much.
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TBH I too don't understand all this AH stuff etc, it comes across as very impersonal.
Labels, Pidegeonholes & stereotypes….
(Sociology). So maybe that person had a point. In any case, I don't think your safety is compromised just because somebody made a point. It's a little dramatic don't you think!
I take your point but on a deeper level the guy was right. Just my 2cents
Labels, Pidegeonholes & stereotypes….
In social terms, labels represent a way of differentiating and identifying people that is considered by many as a form of prejudice and discrimination.
The most common method of 'labeling' people derives from a general way of perceiving members of a certain nationality, religion, ethnicity, gender, or some other group. When a majority of people hold a certain point of view towards a certain group, that point of view becomes a stereotype. That stereotype affects the way other people perceive the groups in question and the result is a 'label' that is metaphorically imposed on the members of the group in question. A member of a targeted group is thus 'labeled' by the larger society, and along with it, the nuances underlying the label, be it positive or negative, that aids in the formation of social stereotypes.
The most common method of 'labeling' people derives from a general way of perceiving members of a certain nationality, religion, ethnicity, gender, or some other group. When a majority of people hold a certain point of view towards a certain group, that point of view becomes a stereotype. That stereotype affects the way other people perceive the groups in question and the result is a 'label' that is metaphorically imposed on the members of the group in question. A member of a targeted group is thus 'labeled' by the larger society, and along with it, the nuances underlying the label, be it positive or negative, that aids in the formation of social stereotypes.
I take your point but on a deeper level the guy was right. Just my 2cents
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It's part of forum etiquette. AH, DD, DS, SIL, MIL, FIL, XAH, XFIL, XMIL, AB, AS, these are shorthand to make all these life roles easier and maintain anonymity, and most people who come here can figure out very quickly who you're talking about. It's how all forums on the internet work.
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The kindest way to view this is that on the A boards 
, they are focused on themselves. They don't need ANY initials to refer to themselves.
F&F on the other hand, are all worked up over THEM THEM THEM. We usually have a WHOLE CLAN of addicts and unhappy family members under OUR WING so we need the INITIALS to keep them all apart!
, they are focused on themselves. They don't need ANY initials to refer to themselves.F&F on the other hand, are all worked up over THEM THEM THEM. We usually have a WHOLE CLAN of addicts and unhappy family members under OUR WING so we need the INITIALS to keep them all apart!
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I thought that AH meant adoring husband for the first few days one here. (LOL)
Personally I know that nobody else has the right to call me an alcoholic bar myself, and I know that I would not be so ignorant as to call another person one.
What I see are people with problems on the emotional & spiritual plane, sometimes they very much aren't even aware of this themselves. Shorthand I understand yes...
Hey look I was only making a point and I feel I made it reasonably well. Not looking to get into an argument over it. Peace out
Personally I know that nobody else has the right to call me an alcoholic bar myself, and I know that I would not be so ignorant as to call another person one.
What I see are people with problems on the emotional & spiritual plane, sometimes they very much aren't even aware of this themselves. Shorthand I understand yes...
Hey look I was only making a point and I feel I made it reasonably well. Not looking to get into an argument over it. Peace out
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Um, "AH" is the edited-for-tv version of what I sometimes call Himself in my more candid moments. Methinks many RA's should be grateful we are using the common acronyms instead of pet names that more accurately describe them and their behaviors......
Though to be fair, we do sometimes have to consider our audience when speaking. I know I use a completely different vocabulary when talking with my mother than when talking with those I encounter at work.
Though to be fair, we do sometimes have to consider our audience when speaking. I know I use a completely different vocabulary when talking with my mother than when talking with those I encounter at work.
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I read it & I got a little irked too, honestly.
And then I thought, if someone wants to get their nose bent out of joint over an acronym, let them. Taking something as minor as a typing shortcut personally is their problem, not mine. I'm not going to apologize for referring to my RAH as an alcoholic, when he himself identifies as such, that's ridiculous.
Our lives are filled with much more important things to worry about.
And then I thought, if someone wants to get their nose bent out of joint over an acronym, let them. Taking something as minor as a typing shortcut personally is their problem, not mine. I'm not going to apologize for referring to my RAH as an alcoholic, when he himself identifies as such, that's ridiculous.
Our lives are filled with much more important things to worry about.
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When I speak about my separated AH, not on this board, I dont say "my separated Alcoholic Husband". It is just a description we use here. So going off on that tangent he was missing the whole question I was asking.
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Originally Posted by iamthird 
When I speak about my separated AH, not on this board, I dont say "my separated Alcoholic Husband". It is just a description we use here. So going off on that tangent he was missing the whole question I was asking.
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Do you all ever read the A boards regularly?
I've learned a lot on what is there, how quickly people come and go, and what is not there. A cunning, baffling disease indeed.
I highly recommend reading the A boards.
I've learned a lot on what is there, how quickly people come and go, and what is not there. A cunning, baffling disease indeed.
I highly recommend reading the A boards.
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Originally Posted by FireSprite
Exactly. All that discussion & the original question went unanswered.
I did not find the "AH" abbreviation wrong in anyway. Some just don't like labels. We do have a tendency to take things personally.
Remember, just because they are RA's does not mean they are not still sick
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Originally Posted by GracieLou
It was, at least I tried to.
I did not find the "AH" abbreviation wrong in anyway. Some just don't like labels. We do have a tendency to take things personally.
Remember, just because they are RA's does not mean they are not still sick
I did not find the "AH" abbreviation wrong in anyway. Some just don't like labels. We do have a tendency to take things personally.
Remember, just because they are RA's does not mean they are not still sick
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Hi Third,
I see nothing wrong with referring to an A as an A or an AH or whatever. It is a descriptive we use in F and F. I don't know how they refer to themselves over in A land, but I would tread lightly there (especially in the newly sober section), in AA, etc... There seem to be a lot of newly sober A's who seem pretty shaky in their sobriety and kind of defensive.
My belief is that I do not want "them" making a ruckus in al anon or F and F world, so I do not go "over there" and ruffle feathers. I get perturbed when an alcoholic or any addict dictates to "us" in F ad F. Maybe that poster felt you were dissing his peeps? Who knows?
When I was first trying to navigate the world of addiction I had many questions that only A's understood. Why? Why? Why? As I have focused on my own recovery, I realized that why they do what they do doesn't matter.
I see nothing wrong with referring to an A as an A or an AH or whatever. It is a descriptive we use in F and F. I don't know how they refer to themselves over in A land, but I would tread lightly there (especially in the newly sober section), in AA, etc... There seem to be a lot of newly sober A's who seem pretty shaky in their sobriety and kind of defensive.
My belief is that I do not want "them" making a ruckus in al anon or F and F world, so I do not go "over there" and ruffle feathers. I get perturbed when an alcoholic or any addict dictates to "us" in F ad F. Maybe that poster felt you were dissing his peeps? Who knows?
When I was first trying to navigate the world of addiction I had many questions that only A's understood. Why? Why? Why? As I have focused on my own recovery, I realized that why they do what they do doesn't matter.
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I went and read the post. I believe that particular poster is always trying to stir things up a little. Take no offense.
AH is an alcoholic, he is your husband.
Put the two together, what do you get???
AH (much easier then typing the whole thing out)
AH is an alcoholic, he is your husband.
Put the two together, what do you get???
AH (much easier then typing the whole thing out)
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