My last post
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,294
Aw, Amy, BIG gentle hugs to you. It's hard enough when we struggle to deal with the world, with reality. But it's so, so much more challenging when we struggle to deal with our own internal disregulation, when we fight our own very mind and soul for the struggle to want to live.
You are worthy of a life, and happiness, even if your own mind is suggesting otherwise, if you heart feels it is shattered, and your will has evaporated.
People have come back from this, and healed.
Sending hope,
CLMI
You are worthy of a life, and happiness, even if your own mind is suggesting otherwise, if you heart feels it is shattered, and your will has evaporated.
People have come back from this, and healed.
Sending hope,
CLMI
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Amy, I understand that the long thread with LS has taken it out of you, no wonder you feel exhausted and discouraged. But I think most of us admired your leading role in bringing perspective to the situation. I certainly did.
I'm sure it revived all sorts of memories and emotions too.
Take a break, but don't leave. I'm not a big hugger; I leave that to more humane members
but here we go ((((((((Amy)))))))) and I don't do that for everyone!
I'm sure it revived all sorts of memories and emotions too.
Take a break, but don't leave. I'm not a big hugger; I leave that to more humane members
but here we go ((((((((Amy)))))))) and I don't do that for everyone!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
Dear Amy,
I am sorry to read you are having troubles. I am also very sorry I have never taken the time to say Thank You. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing of yourself so selflessly. Thank you for showing me how I can be a better, more sympathetic person. Thank you Amy for being you.
I am sorry to read you are having troubles. I am also very sorry I have never taken the time to say Thank You. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing of yourself so selflessly. Thank you for showing me how I can be a better, more sympathetic person. Thank you Amy for being you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
You know what Amy - MLS got one of the best threads I've ever seen on SR. Everyone chipped in to support her. But she was too limited to see what great support she got from the entire community here. She has likely worked really hard in her life to have her kids go to the right school, live in the right neighborhood and now her H might head off to the right rehab too. She has a lifetime invested in her family's image.
She doesn't see yet we are ALL one family suffering from the SAME problem. Some of us are Alcoholics, some codependents, some substance, and a few like to feel special and are double and triple winners.
She doesn't want to see that her thread got a ton of experience written on it, support and honesty. She spent a lot of her time lashing out and putting others down.
The kindest thing to say is MLS is too angry right now.
But this is true too. She mentioned her H has been in other rehabs. She did not know what Al Anon was despite dealing with his addiction for years! She was putting down the attendees at her H's last facility too. She was perturbed they forced her to take 2 hours of addiction education before she could see her H. She feels safest being superior and apart.
This woman is angry. Her ears and eyes are closed.
You can't save them all Amy. She might PM you. She might figure it out, yet. You reached out. You did a really good job.
She doesn't see yet we are ALL one family suffering from the SAME problem. Some of us are Alcoholics, some codependents, some substance, and a few like to feel special and are double and triple winners.
She doesn't want to see that her thread got a ton of experience written on it, support and honesty. She spent a lot of her time lashing out and putting others down. The kindest thing to say is MLS is too angry right now.
But this is true too. She mentioned her H has been in other rehabs. She did not know what Al Anon was despite dealing with his addiction for years! She was putting down the attendees at her H's last facility too. She was perturbed they forced her to take 2 hours of addiction education before she could see her H. She feels safest being superior and apart.This woman is angry. Her ears and eyes are closed.
You can't save them all Amy. She might PM you. She might figure it out, yet. You reached out. You did a really good job.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 30
(((((((Amy/Ann Marie))))))), please don't stop posting! Both for you and for us, especially maybe selfishly for me. For some reason now I'm crying! Your posts are honest and from the heart. I cringe at some of the angry "tough love" posters. There seems to be way too much anger
directed at newcomers...if we can't control or cure the alcoholic why are people being so angrily trying to force their opinions? I hope no one admonished you! You are so often the kind voice in the wilderness! I hope you do something kind for yourself today! ((((((((Hugs))))))) oops! Have to get ready for work, but you're worth being late! Be gentle with yourself...progress can be slow at times!
directed at newcomers...if we can't control or cure the alcoholic why are people being so angrily trying to force their opinions? I hope no one admonished you! You are so often the kind voice in the wilderness! I hope you do something kind for yourself today! ((((((((Hugs))))))) oops! Have to get ready for work, but you're worth being late!
Be gentle with yourself...progress can be slow at times!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Amy - I have only recently started reading and posting in this part of the forum a bit more actively (I'm an RA as well)
but the few threads and posts I have seen from you are filled with compassion and grace.
I hope you decide to stick around. I really do.
but the few threads and posts I have seen from you are filled with compassion and grace.
I hope you decide to stick around. I really do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 494
Amy, you know your posts are valuable. People tell you so. Although we have not always agreed, I find your perspective valuable.
Not everyone approaches things from the same perspective however - even those of us who have been emotionally and physically abused. It's okay.
Not everyone approaches things from the same perspective however - even those of us who have been emotionally and physically abused. It's okay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I'm sorry guys, I am just having some mental health issues at the moment. It has nothing to do with this board. It seems sometimes I can't tell what is real and what is not real. Can't explain more then that. I'm just taking a break. Thanks for your support
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
amy
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
(((amy))) we are here for you, sweetie. Take some time to shake off the feelings that may have come from investing so much to try to help someone who wasn't ready for it. You will be fine, get some help if you feel you need a bit more right now, ok?
Your perspective is invaluable here.. and we care for you. We will hold your seat
chicory
Your perspective is invaluable here.. and we care for you. We will hold your seat
chicory
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by amy55 
I'm sorry guys, I am just having some mental health issues at the moment. It has nothing to do with this board. It seems sometimes I can't tell what is real and what is not real. Can't explain more then that. I'm just taking a break. Thanks for your support
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
amy
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
amy
PS~ CodeJob, well said & I totally agree. Clicking the "thanks" tab just wasn't enough,
for your post.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Amy, I'm actually smilin hereto read ya opening up some. Seems that that can start recovery and healing.
So,mentioned to ya just recently I can be a lil brutal and this may read like it is,but it isnt:
Who are you to say yer not doing things the right way?? I've read a few of yer replies and there's a lot of knowledge and wisdom in them.
It's not always easy tryin to help someone that's been in my shoes. I can read on here and in the alcoholism forum the old me and my old actions( prolly not unique there,eh?) and it can be so damned frustrating to read the " yeah but" or " oh I'm not like that" or " oh he/she's not like that" or" well that hasn't happened and it never will" knowing that if there's no change....those are just Y.E.T.s. I'm still working on developing a virtual crowbar to go through the net and try to pop heads outta buts. But even that doesnt work all the time. Can help tho!(did me, but then I had to clear the poop outta my ears and listen!!! And there was some in my eyes so had to wash my eyes out and keep re reading.)
Amy,mya gotta lotta knowledge of what happened, what didn't work, and what does.
Keep comin back and tryin to help.
So,mentioned to ya just recently I can be a lil brutal and this may read like it is,but it isnt:
Who are you to say yer not doing things the right way?? I've read a few of yer replies and there's a lot of knowledge and wisdom in them.
It's not always easy tryin to help someone that's been in my shoes. I can read on here and in the alcoholism forum the old me and my old actions( prolly not unique there,eh?) and it can be so damned frustrating to read the " yeah but" or " oh I'm not like that" or " oh he/she's not like that" or" well that hasn't happened and it never will" knowing that if there's no change....those are just Y.E.T.s. I'm still working on developing a virtual crowbar to go through the net and try to pop heads outta buts. But even that doesnt work all the time. Can help tho!(did me, but then I had to clear the poop outta my ears and listen!!! And there was some in my eyes so had to wash my eyes out and keep re reading.)
Amy,mya gotta lotta knowledge of what happened, what didn't work, and what does.
Keep comin back and tryin to help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
Hello Amy, I want to add my voice to the others who say your compassion and wisdom touches me and I hope you will reconsider leaving this forum. Take a break if you need to but I hope very much it is not goodbye forever. You are a valuable person and a help to many more people than you know.
Sorry you are having a hard time now. Hope to see you back soon!
Sorry you are having a hard time now. Hope to see you back soon!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 80
Amy, I haven't read everything on this thread, but I was concerned for you from what I did read.
Recently, I watched the story of Bill Wilson (founder of AA). He hit rock bottom and felt helpless. In the hospital, he begged for god to help him, because he couldn't do it on his own. The person has to be desperate enough. A bright light entered the room and he felt peace and contentment for the first time in his life. They said that he NEVER drink again.
I think anyone who feels rock bottom can do the same. Never give up.
Recently, I watched the story of Bill Wilson (founder of AA). He hit rock bottom and felt helpless. In the hospital, he begged for god to help him, because he couldn't do it on his own. The person has to be desperate enough. A bright light entered the room and he felt peace and contentment for the first time in his life. They said that he NEVER drink again.
I think anyone who feels rock bottom can do the same. Never give up.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
Amy, we honor you, we value you, we trust you, and we want you to be happy and healthy.
Every thing you do, you do out of concern for the well being of others, and we understand and hear you in that context. No one here can see that you did anything at all to wonder or worry about.
From my own experience with PTSD, it can retrigger unexpectedly, and then I get back into the original feelings of pain and danger and being overwhelmed and doubting myself. If that is where you are, then we all here on SR send you our love and support for finding the help to get you back to feeling well and happy again.
And, if it helps, I have come to understand more about the aftermath of having PTSD. At times it is important for me to see that other people who need help get rescued. (As I once wanted to be rescued from my former life with my abusive husband. And wasn't for so long, until I left home and came to SR and told my family.)
I also now understand that I don't have to be the agent of rescue for others even though they desparately need help. They will go their own path and come to awareness when it is time for them to do so. Help will come to them from some other direction when they are ready. It is not up to me, it is up to them to choose what they want.
As a child, I was totally terrified and panicky when I watched the TV show Lassie - I identified so much with the helplessness and danger the "victim" was in and could barely wait it out while Lassie ran for help. I still watch movies where there are plots and someone is in great danger, and then, at the end, they are saved. Over and over, I need to see that people in trouble are rescued.
I think those of us with PTSD are quick to feel the pain of another in trouble - it re-awakens some of our PTSD - and need to know that we can detach when we need to and are not obligated to take on someone else's pain and fix it. We can't, any more than we can fix an alcoholic. I don't know if this makes sense to you, but if it does, then it is okay to take time away from SR and concentrate on yourself.
If I'm off base on this, my apologies. Take what you want and leave the rest, and take my honest concern for you.
Maybe keep in touch with some of us by PM? You are welcome to write to me, and I am sure many others here feel the same. We all care about you so much and sincerely and deeply want you to be okay. And to know that SR is a loving, caring community that you are a deep part of, whenever you want it.
ShootingStar1
Every thing you do, you do out of concern for the well being of others, and we understand and hear you in that context. No one here can see that you did anything at all to wonder or worry about.
From my own experience with PTSD, it can retrigger unexpectedly, and then I get back into the original feelings of pain and danger and being overwhelmed and doubting myself. If that is where you are, then we all here on SR send you our love and support for finding the help to get you back to feeling well and happy again.
And, if it helps, I have come to understand more about the aftermath of having PTSD. At times it is important for me to see that other people who need help get rescued. (As I once wanted to be rescued from my former life with my abusive husband. And wasn't for so long, until I left home and came to SR and told my family.)
I also now understand that I don't have to be the agent of rescue for others even though they desparately need help. They will go their own path and come to awareness when it is time for them to do so. Help will come to them from some other direction when they are ready. It is not up to me, it is up to them to choose what they want.
As a child, I was totally terrified and panicky when I watched the TV show Lassie - I identified so much with the helplessness and danger the "victim" was in and could barely wait it out while Lassie ran for help. I still watch movies where there are plots and someone is in great danger, and then, at the end, they are saved. Over and over, I need to see that people in trouble are rescued.
I think those of us with PTSD are quick to feel the pain of another in trouble - it re-awakens some of our PTSD - and need to know that we can detach when we need to and are not obligated to take on someone else's pain and fix it. We can't, any more than we can fix an alcoholic. I don't know if this makes sense to you, but if it does, then it is okay to take time away from SR and concentrate on yourself.
If I'm off base on this, my apologies. Take what you want and leave the rest, and take my honest concern for you.
Maybe keep in touch with some of us by PM? You are welcome to write to me, and I am sure many others here feel the same. We all care about you so much and sincerely and deeply want you to be okay. And to know that SR is a loving, caring community that you are a deep part of, whenever you want it.
ShootingStar1
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
My dear friend, we love you, we value you. I read your posts and am inspired and encouraged. You have been through so much more than you ever should have to deal with.
I hope you stay her. You belong here, you are part of us, you are part of SR.
Sending you much much love and many hugs!
I hope you stay her. You belong here, you are part of us, you are part of SR.
Sending you much much love and many hugs!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 413
I too think you have a lot to contribute, Amy. I tend toward the "take care of yourself above all else" point of view, but if this Board were only about taking care of oneself, it would be a much less rich place. We're all individuals and none of us has a lock on wisdom; your perspective and your posts add tremendously to the richness here.
That said, a bit of healthy skepticism as to other people's motives is never a bad thing. It protects you from other people's emotional dysfunction, of which there is plenty. I get the PTSD thing and still feel a tinge of it myself sometimes, but It's not good when the words of strangers can destabilize us so deeply.
That said, a bit of healthy skepticism as to other people's motives is never a bad thing. It protects you from other people's emotional dysfunction, of which there is plenty. I get the PTSD thing and still feel a tinge of it myself sometimes, but It's not good when the words of strangers can destabilize us so deeply.
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