Husband missing in action
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Originally Posted by CodeJob 
Eh Hammer me thinks Straw is a bit angry and not ready to hula hoop. She's angry and she's going to lash out this time. But I could be wrong. Of course, I've never really found my anger enough to fire at will. In a sense, I'm absolutely green with envy.
Sparkly. It is pink and sparkly.
Sparkly. It is pink and sparkly.
Agree and understand on the anger. I think that gets all vacuumed up into the chaos.
Getting to have [y]our own feelings would be a luxury that is not afforded.
So -- MyLastStraw -- if Anger gets you where you need to go, I suppose that is a Good Thing.
On the other hand . . . .
Chasing after an A . . . probably NOT such a Good Thing.
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Hammer, I didn't really get the hula hoop comment and they are right I am angry. A friend of his called me today and told me he is just "doing his thing". These 3 days missing in actions leave me to believe that he is using, god knows what, drugs.
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Originally Posted by Mylaststraw
Hammer, I didn't really get the hula hoop comment and they are right I am angry. A friend of his called me today and told me he is just "doing his thing". These 3 days missing in actions leave me to believe that he is using, god knows what, drugs.
So, you want to stay married to him, why?
He's out there partying without a care in the world and you're sitting there worried and angry.
Apparently "just doing his thing" doesn't involve being a husband or father. Or even a decent human being.
Sorry you're going through this. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
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Location: Pa
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Just like alcoholism is progressive, so is the run-away husband. Mine started out disappearing for Labor Day Weekend, the weekend turned into a week, turned into 2 weeks, turned into a month, then longer.
Mine actually told me he did this to punish me. That if I wasn't such a nag he would have been home. I never knew when he would be home. Then he would just show up one day, out of the blue, it was like he knew that I was getting better without him there. When he did show up, I was expected to greet him with open arms, and open legs (sorry). When he would see that I was upset, he would scream at me that we didn't fight for over a week, so why didn't I "get over it" yet !!!!
Hey, did you make it to that Doctor appointment?
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy
Mine actually told me he did this to punish me. That if I wasn't such a nag he would have been home. I never knew when he would be home. Then he would just show up one day, out of the blue, it was like he knew that I was getting better without him there. When he did show up, I was expected to greet him with open arms, and open legs (sorry). When he would see that I was upset, he would scream at me that we didn't fight for over a week, so why didn't I "get over it" yet !!!!
Hey, did you make it to that Doctor appointment?
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy
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Hula Hoop-o-logy {part 1: stay in your hoop} | God centered mom
Here's a view of the hula hoop focused on parenting, but addiction circles (ba ha ha!) use the imagery a lot.
The more important issue though is did you get your kiddo to the MD today? Because that was your main concern today, right?
Here's a view of the hula hoop focused on parenting, but addiction circles (ba ha ha!) use the imagery a lot.
The more important issue though is did you get your kiddo to the MD today? Because that was your main concern today, right?
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
I'm sorry your husband is doing this mls--it sounds like you need to be thinking about
what you can do to protect yourself and children as well as possible in an impossible situation.
Controlling an alcoholic on a binge, or any other time, is essentially impossible.
What kind of damage control can you do to protect your interests right now?
Some "practical" suggestions might include taking money out of the common checking account to have cash for food, gas, etc.
and / or maybe reporting credit cards lost to stop them being run up while he's out of hand, and so on.
I don't know what you've done before when this happens, but these are a few ideas.
I'd also go get the car if you know where it is so he isn't driving around drunk in it and you have it to use for your kids, etc.
Longer term, if you are unwilling / unable to consider separation or divorce, it will simply be a matter of time before he loses his job as his alcoholism progresses.
What kind of vocational training or ideas do you have to take control of the situation financially since you may very well end up supporting both your husband and kids if he chooses to keep using?
Can you get help from family or friends because this is upsetting and scary for anyone to deal with?
Unfortunately, this is a pretty common pattern of downward spiral so chances are good it will be getting worse as time goes on if he won't seek recovery.
Again, I'm so sorry for your situation, but it may be that you will have to be planning assuming the worst at this point from what you've said.
what you can do to protect yourself and children as well as possible in an impossible situation.
Controlling an alcoholic on a binge, or any other time, is essentially impossible.
What kind of damage control can you do to protect your interests right now?
Some "practical" suggestions might include taking money out of the common checking account to have cash for food, gas, etc.
and / or maybe reporting credit cards lost to stop them being run up while he's out of hand, and so on.
I don't know what you've done before when this happens, but these are a few ideas.
I'd also go get the car if you know where it is so he isn't driving around drunk in it and you have it to use for your kids, etc.
Longer term, if you are unwilling / unable to consider separation or divorce, it will simply be a matter of time before he loses his job as his alcoholism progresses.
What kind of vocational training or ideas do you have to take control of the situation financially since you may very well end up supporting both your husband and kids if he chooses to keep using?
Can you get help from family or friends because this is upsetting and scary for anyone to deal with?
Unfortunately, this is a pretty common pattern of downward spiral so chances are good it will be getting worse as time goes on if he won't seek recovery.
Again, I'm so sorry for your situation, but it may be that you will have to be planning assuming the worst at this point from what you've said.
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oh sorry, LastStraw. Did not mean to talk around you -- especially on your own thread.
My apologies.
Did you see where CJ mentioned her "Hula Hoop?"
That was what I was going on about.
It is an Alanon phrase to let us know the limits of our own control and need for concern.
Pick up (or picture in your mind) a Hula Hoop. Put it on the floor. Step in. Turn around and look at the limits. IF it (whatever it is) is NOT in the Hula Hoop with you -- it is something that is likely outside your control, and so not really so much YOUR problem.
Applies mostly to the A's for *us* here.
Was talking the concept with my daughter, while taking her to Ice Skating, this morning. She said it seemed like a Good Idea. Then she paused and looked at me and said -- "We (her and her brothers) are all inside YOUR Hula Hoop, right, Dad?" I said, "You sure are." She smiled and said, "Good."
Then we went back to chatting about Ice Skating.
Goes along with "Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys."
My apologies.
Did you see where CJ mentioned her "Hula Hoop?"
That was what I was going on about.
It is an Alanon phrase to let us know the limits of our own control and need for concern.
Pick up (or picture in your mind) a Hula Hoop. Put it on the floor. Step in. Turn around and look at the limits. IF it (whatever it is) is NOT in the Hula Hoop with you -- it is something that is likely outside your control, and so not really so much YOUR problem.
Applies mostly to the A's for *us* here.
Was talking the concept with my daughter, while taking her to Ice Skating, this morning. She said it seemed like a Good Idea. Then she paused and looked at me and said -- "We (her and her brothers) are all inside YOUR Hula Hoop, right, Dad?" I said, "You sure are." She smiled and said, "Good."
Then we went back to chatting about Ice Skating.
Goes along with "Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys."
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Originally Posted by CodeJob
Shhh. You'll get SR all abuzz.
Most the folks here probably know that I think anyone who puts the kids FIRST -- especially when there is an A involved . . . .
IS PRETTY DAMN HAWT!
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