knowthetriggers

I recently read a post that stung my heart to the core. The words could have been written by me about 12 or 13 years ago, seriously. I responded to the thread, realized the time and moved along with my morning routine. I almost brushed off my morning walk but decided to take a quick 10 minutes for myself.

On my short 10 minute walk I became very emotional; so emotional that I began to cry. It was not a cry because I was hurt but a cleansing cry. Then I became angry, and started to ask my HP, why. What did I do to deserve this life, had I done something in my past that I am being punished for?? Then I became calm, and I felt at peace. I finished my walk with the Serenity Prayer and was able to carry on. All that in 10 short minutes it honestly blew my mind.

The peace I felt this morning came from a memory of a conversation from a very wise friend. Years ago in an Alanon meeting I complained about my AH not wanting help and that him moving was just going to mask the issue, blah, blah. When I was done she turned to me and said, “Don’t think for one second that your HP does not have his hands in this”. I say, “You think so?” Her answer to me was “Just because your husband is not in rehab or going to meetings does not mean your HP is not working in your situation. You wanted a way out and this is your opportunity to embrace your way out without giving up your home, etc. Lift your worries up to him and let it go and see what happens”.

Anyway – thanks for reading, I just wanted to share.

Have a blessed day

~Triggers

Katchie

thank you for your post, it is helpful to me this day. Hugs

lillamy

My experience was that when I prayed for my HP to fix my marriage, my HP did so -- by working on the one person in the marriage that was willing to be worked on. Me.

freetosmile

Thanks for this post!! I needed to hear this today. Going to pick up AH tomorrow and I'm just nervous as all get out. Plus, I have to stay the night at my mothers.....and that alone is enough to make a grown man cry. I needed the reminder to let go and let God.

I've been HIGHLY emotional lately. It's hard to complete everything I need to complete with all these emotions flowing through me at ANY given time.

I wrote a poem last night and that was very therapeutic for me. I like your idea of walking every morning. I feel like that would help me a LOT. I might give it a try when I return home.

I don't want to leave tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

knowthetriggers

YES - please give it a try. It gives me some much needed "me" time. In the spring, summer and fall I walk each morning AND in the afternoon. I even walk on the weekends, to me it is very relaxing!

Good luck to you tomorrow, I remember how nervous I was the first time my AH was coming home from rehab. Just remember, One Day At a Time!

knowthetriggers

What is sad is that I knew this - I refused to open my eyes to it, 10 years later here I am. I must say that since I am back on track with my program my mood has changed, for the better. But it also has changed the dynamics of the house, everyone is smiling, including the AH. By no means will I say things are perfect but the mood at home is a welcomed improvement and like you said, it started with ME!