NYCDoglvr

What I think is inappropriate is your current BF discussing you with an ex.

bird13

Sorry did i write current bf? This was my best guy friend. I was having some issues typing it up last night my computer kept freezing

bird13

I have been so busy with work, apologize for the late reply but thank you to everyone who posted with so much thought. I read every single post and it helped me.

I know this friend meant well, and did his best. He has my best interest at heart. In my effort to "not control everything and focus on myself" I did not really tell my friends how to handle him if this situation arose. I'm kinda glad I didn't b/c the 2 people I trust in life can't really do much to mess anything up for me. If he is gonna get sober he is. that's it i guess.

On another note, we ironically ran into each other last night at a burrito place. He looked so thin and pale. Just sad and not well. He apologized for everything he has done to me. I just told him that things did not end well, and trying to contact me like they had is not 'sane.' Told him my best friend's father died of liver cancer, from drinking. We laughed about some things, and were just depressed and quiet about others. I remembered what was special about us, and why he is sick too and needs recovery. He knows. He doesn't argue it. Just hasn't hit bottom. (looks like it though. yikes.) I can tell he still loves me and misses the relationship, and is kicking himself for how this turned out but scared to death to stop drinking.

Getting up and walking out of that place was so difficult! And not sitting there comforting him too. I told him I moved on, although in my heart I love no one else but him. I can't give him that security anymore when he won't stop drinking and we are through for that reason. I walked away and said to myself, " you did your best, and leave the rest in God's hands." My heart aches a little tonight but I am pushing through to stay resolved in reaching my goals this year for work etc. Would love to hear your thoughts. . .

kj3880

Are you sure it was a chance meeting at the place? Is it a really small town, or is that an old hangout of the two of you that you would be better off avoiding for a bit? Or is an ex riding around looking for a familiar car to "engineer" a meeting? Either way, I really think it was awful for you to have to hear that conversation repeated. That's not a helpful thing for your guy friend to do, whatever his motives are???

I went through a breakup where I was stalked about 10 years ago. This particular ex would contact everyone he thought might pass on information about me or to me after I had him served with an ex parte. All my sisters and brothers, my in-laws, even my lawyer, my boss, and my tax accountant! It was crazy! I told all my associates not to discuss me, and informed them that if they did, please not to pass on the info to me at all, not even to mention it to me.

bird13

Yeah no, it has been six months and he has talked to 1 friend and i ran into him randomly. We live in a big city in a large but same neighborhood without cars. This is not a place we frequented and was completely random. Hea not a creep, just a giant baby who feels sorry for himself. Nothing new there in alcoholism. :/. So glad i was so brutally honest though during that encounter. I dont regret one bit of it and acting not concerned. I think the more of that we can muster up the better for us. My friend told me b/ c we are particularily close and he knew i would want to know. Anyone else i would not have wanted to know. Which is why i cut our "mutual" friends. This person is my dear friend and i dont have an issue with what he did but an issue with ex abf crying on him in a public workspace. He also followed him around that place wanting to talk about it. He is not going to get what he wants out of this. That may be a hard thing to realize.. Oh well.