Holy Trigger After 4 years
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Holy Trigger After 4 years
I walked away from my ex over 4 yrs ago when I finally caught him cheating.
He was (and am I sure still is) a pathological liar, cheater, addict and has NPD (diagnosed by our couples therapist at the time).
It took me 2 solid years to get over and unravel my part and the pain from that 5 yr relationship. I was in therapy 2 yrs and went to non stop al anon meeting the entire time until last year.
I knew he was hooking up with all kinds of woman after me, then got into a serious relationship 2 yrs ago and I just found out he's marrying this girl
She is also an addict with Border Personalty Disorder. He met her in AA, go figure!!!
I was in a horrible relationship after him to basically not be alone, but have now been single close to 3 yrs by choice because it was time I healed. I've rarely if ever been single in my almost 50 yrs.
Men ask me out all the time but am not ready to trust myself with finding healthy men
BUT knowing my ex is getting married is triggering me. Maybe because I feel lonely and think "he doesn't deserve happiness".....who knows. I have all sorts of odd emotions in me right now and needed to share.
Yes he will cheat and I am sure has cheated on her and she is in for a lifetime of hell and I am happy I was not dumb enough to marry him (he was begging and wanted to move together also), but just ugh and not sure why I feel like this....
I worked so much on my life and it's amazing so how the past can just come in and bang!!!!
He was (and am I sure still is) a pathological liar, cheater, addict and has NPD (diagnosed by our couples therapist at the time).
It took me 2 solid years to get over and unravel my part and the pain from that 5 yr relationship. I was in therapy 2 yrs and went to non stop al anon meeting the entire time until last year.
I knew he was hooking up with all kinds of woman after me, then got into a serious relationship 2 yrs ago and I just found out he's marrying this girl
She is also an addict with Border Personalty Disorder. He met her in AA, go figure!!!
I was in a horrible relationship after him to basically not be alone, but have now been single close to 3 yrs by choice because it was time I healed. I've rarely if ever been single in my almost 50 yrs.
Men ask me out all the time but am not ready to trust myself with finding healthy men
BUT knowing my ex is getting married is triggering me. Maybe because I feel lonely and think "he doesn't deserve happiness".....who knows. I have all sorts of odd emotions in me right now and needed to share.
Yes he will cheat and I am sure has cheated on her and she is in for a lifetime of hell and I am happy I was not dumb enough to marry him (he was begging and wanted to move together also), but just ugh and not sure why I feel like this....
I worked so much on my life and it's amazing so how the past can just come in and bang!!!!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 873
Hi Summerpeach- I love what you said
" but have now been single close to 3 yrs by choice because it was time I healed."
This is wonderful to hear, this was by your choice. You saw how important it was to do something.
I wonder though why do you know so much what is going on in his life? Can you in anyway not engage?
" but have now been single close to 3 yrs by choice because it was time I healed."
This is wonderful to hear, this was by your choice. You saw how important it was to do something.
I wonder though why do you know so much what is going on in his life? Can you in anyway not engage?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
I actually detached from anything about his life 3 yrs ago, but only today heard he was getting married. We still have mutual friends. I know about this girl only because one of my friends went to AA with her. Besides what I shared, I know nothing else
Sometimes news is unavoidable and probably came to me for a reason like a lesson I need to tune in to
Sometimes news is unavoidable and probably came to me for a reason like a lesson I need to tune in to
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