Why does he do this?

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Old 01-06-2015, 12:15 PM
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Why does he do this?

Today’s morning I saw that my ex liked one of my videos and some pictures over my Instagram.
He didn’t commented or anything; he just liked them… So I made my account private (it wasn't private because he didn't had one, but now he has one.... Oh God).

He seems like he wants me to contact him, that is the only possibility I can think of now, I mean... I am not sure why he keeps on doing this to me even after all he’s done. It’s absurd, and it bothers me and saddens me.

Why does he do this when I’m finally feeling a little better, and finally trying to avoid him for real?

I feel like I really don’t have anything left to say to him. I don’t feel like there’s love in me for him anymore. I deserve better than the way he treated me. Way better….

Once that I close one avenue of contact he seems to look for another way to contact me/look for my attention/I don’t even know what the hell he is trying at this point.

Someone has been calling to my new cellphone number. It is not the number he has, but I get the feeling that it could be him.

(I have blocked him on Facebook long ago, so that's not a problem. I have changed numbers. I have now blocked him on Instagram.There's nothing - of that kind - left).
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:23 PM
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Protective order for harassment.
You'd be surprised how quickly a chickenshit harasser can change their ways when they're looking at jail time.
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:30 PM
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I completely understand what you are going through. I swear it's another way of them manipulating and controlling us. They want us to feel something for them, to pull us back in so they can toss us aside for the alcohol again.

It's not worth it for me to get caught up again. I am too good of a woman and deserve so much more than what he could ever offer me.

He text me today..
Him "Hi, how are you doing?"
Me "Fine."
Him "I just was thinking about you"
Me "What do you want me to say?"
Him "Nothing I guess. I hope this all works out for us both"
Me "Its what you wanted CJ. I am sure it will work out for you just fine. I am going to be okay. Time for me to let you go."

Haven't heard from him since.
I know what he is trying to do because he has done it to me so many times before. He is trying to pull me back in. I don't want to do this anymore. So I am done.

When your done, your done!
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:33 PM
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I don't know your backstory, but perhaps you are over thinking this? So, he liked something you posted online. Doesn't mean he is expecting you to contact him.

Maybe he was curious about how you're doing and looked up your page. If he was messaging you via it or family members then, yeah, he'd be out of order. But I don't think I would worry too much about a like button being pressed. You have too many other, better things to do!

((((Hugs)))))
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:33 PM
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Originally Posted by lillamy View Post
Protective order for harassment.
You'd be surprised how quickly a chickenshit harasser can change their ways when they're looking at jail time.
Isn't that a little too much?
I was thinking of doing it if he ever appears at my door or something like that, I mean, in person.

But I think he won't, he is a coward.
So I hope he just stops.

If it gets to that point... I will do it.
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:34 PM
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I think he's totally accomplishing his goal - I'll guarantee you spent WAY more time trying to "figure out" his actions than he did when he decided to click the "like" tab a couple of times. He's getting rent-free space in your head, but you don't have to let him.
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted by alove2nv View Post
I completely understand what you are going through. I swear it's another way of them manipulating and controlling us. They want us to feel something for them, to pull us back in so they can toss us aside for the alcohol again.

It might be, but I don''t know.
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by FireSprite View Post
I think he's totally accomplishing his goal - I'll guarantee you spent WAY more time trying to "figure out" his actions than he did when he decided to click the "like" tab a couple of times. He's getting rent-free space in your head, but you don't have to let him.
Shil and FireSprite, you're both right.
At least I'm not making any contact, but yeah, I'm wasting my time thinking about him. :/
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:46 PM
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I only know because I've BTDT - I think the T-shirt comes in Blue, Black or grey.
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Old 01-06-2015, 01:17 PM
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and here you are wasting your precious life trying to figure out why the EX "liked" a pic, you have a hunch that he wants you to call?

someone calls your new cell phone #, well sometimes our new number was someone else's number not that long ago.

He's your Ex remember?

thinking you are overthinking this one.........

I understand it gets tough sometimes, but thats when we must reel ourselves back in to our reality.
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Old 01-06-2015, 06:28 PM
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Maybe I was still dreaming of the impossible, and being overly romantic.
it's good to get a reality check in here. Thanks a lot everyone.
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Old 01-06-2015, 06:29 PM
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Maybe I was still dreaming of the impossible, and being overly romantic.
it's good to get a reality check in here. Thanks a lot everyone.
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Old 01-06-2015, 06:30 PM
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Oh, sorry about that.
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Old 01-06-2015, 06:41 PM
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harassment for "liking" a pic on instagram......ridiculous.
Better to completely ignore him and cut him off. Don't friend him on any social network, don't reply to any messages, don't answer your phone to any number you don;t recognise, don't reply to any emails he sends etc. Don't give him any excuse to contact you and spend the rest of your time getting busy healing and moving on.
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Old 01-06-2015, 07:39 PM
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Liking a picture on instagram isn't harassment. Finding out her phone number after she changed it several times, and calling and texting her from several different phone numbers so that she cannot block him is.

This is part of a pattern on his part. Thus, my recommendation. Thus, in my humble opinion, not ridiculous. When you've been the victim of a stalker and know how they work, you tend to see things a bit differently.
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Old 01-06-2015, 08:45 PM
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hi Amy, unfortunately I know exactly how it feels and its not nice to put it mildly.
As I understand it OP has only a few days ago finally ceased all contact and deleted records with her ex. I am suggesting that she gives it a period of time of no contact to allow him to back off. Going down a harassment route and threatening jail time at this stage may unnecessarily provoke him into more unreasonable behaviour.
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