I finally did it!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 390
I finally did it!
It took me many months to delete and get rid of everything I still had from my XABF, but Yesterday I finally did it.
It wasn't easy... But all those things only made it harder for me, because there used to be good times by his side and having these things only made me remember of it, the good, and wanting to dismiss the bad.
When we broke things off I gave him back many of his presents,but I still had pictures and letters....
I guess this was a good move.
Thanks for "being there".
It wasn't easy... But all those things only made it harder for me, because there used to be good times by his side and having these things only made me remember of it, the good, and wanting to dismiss the bad.
When we broke things off I gave him back many of his presents,but I still had pictures and letters....
I guess this was a good move.
Thanks for "being there".
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 322
That was a hard one for me. We shared a townhouse and when he left, it seemed like everything in it reminded me of him. A friend gave me the idea to rearrange furniture and redecorate a little. I thought it wouldn't work, but it has.
Doing any of the things we did together for the first time without him is hard, but it's getting easier. I'm a month out from calling off our engagement and the fog is definitely starting to lift. I still miss him at times, but I immediately make myself remember the bad things that happened and remind myself how awful my marriage would have been if I hadn't called it off. I also think about how much harder it would have been, and how much more expensive to separate if we had gotten married. While I hate that our relationship ended over alcoholism, I'm grateful that I stopped the insanity when I did. Living with an alcoholic was one of the hardest times of my life. It's an emotional battlefield filled with landmines and not the way I see my future. I wish he could have been a part of that future as I truly loved him dearly, but in the end, he chose his path and I had to chose mine, which didn't include a life of deceit, lies and drunk driving. I want an equal partner when the time comes, not another child that I have to babysit.
There is better out there ladies. We need to work on loving ourselves and realizing that we deserve more than what we've been settling for. You can only help someone that wants to help themselves. No more "fixer uppers"!!
Doing any of the things we did together for the first time without him is hard, but it's getting easier. I'm a month out from calling off our engagement and the fog is definitely starting to lift. I still miss him at times, but I immediately make myself remember the bad things that happened and remind myself how awful my marriage would have been if I hadn't called it off. I also think about how much harder it would have been, and how much more expensive to separate if we had gotten married. While I hate that our relationship ended over alcoholism, I'm grateful that I stopped the insanity when I did. Living with an alcoholic was one of the hardest times of my life. It's an emotional battlefield filled with landmines and not the way I see my future. I wish he could have been a part of that future as I truly loved him dearly, but in the end, he chose his path and I had to chose mine, which didn't include a life of deceit, lies and drunk driving. I want an equal partner when the time comes, not another child that I have to babysit.
There is better out there ladies. We need to work on loving ourselves and realizing that we deserve more than what we've been settling for. You can only help someone that wants to help themselves. No more "fixer uppers"!!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 390
Originally Posted by FlippedRHalo 
Doing any of the things we did together for the first time without him is hard, but it's getting easier. I'm a month out from calling off our engagement and the fog is definitely starting to lift. I still miss him at times, but I immediately make myself remember the bad things that happened and remind myself how awful my marriage would have been if I hadn't called it off. I also think about how much harder it would have been, and how much more expensive to separate if we had gotten married.
Like you say, it is never easy to let go of dreams, but it is great to be able to see reality as it is.
Thanks all!
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
We all heal from relationships differently. Even if they aren't failed ones. When mine extinguish, I rid myself of everything that was associated with it. Unless its a pet. The less I have of them around me, the easier it is to not look back at them. I lost a partner to cancer when i was 30. She was 28. Loved her til the end. When she passed, I didn't even want a bed sheet we shared to be there. Not because I had any ill feelings towards her at all. I just needed to have ME around me.
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