Timetoheal12

Last nite I was watching some pictures of a party one friend had for the end of the year, and I stumbled upon a picture of my ex.
This made me highly anxious, I wanted to see his Facebook page, so I did.
He has been drinking almost daily since Christmas, and he has been surrounded by girls too..
I saw that he is interested in someone, who approves of his drinking and who drinks too.
It made me sad because he told me he didn't wanted to be in a relationship, but well, I was the one who took that bad choice (to see his online stuff)...

I somehow still expect that he was real about his love for me, but I don't think so. It hurts.


I deleted my Facebook account and I will let it like that for some time.
At least until my "anxiousness" disappears.

hopeful4

I am sorry. It does hurt.

My X quickly found someone else who will drink with him. While I don't really care, I had lost that loving feeling a long time ago, it made me sad that I realized he will never recover from this. He will be an alcoholic and self destruct. It's a grim future for him.

I blocked my X on facebook. I have also "hidden" some friends who have close ties to him. This way, I can still have my account w/out being exposed to him. And b/c I have him blocked, even if I search for him it won't come up.

Be strong. Tight hugs.

freetosmile

I have done that as well (stared at pictures or looked at FB page) even when I knew it was going to cause me pain.

Good job for deleting your FB account. I have done that a few times. It felt good to take a break from everyone. Technology these days afford us NO privacy it seems. If I don't post on FB for a couple days, my sister and grandma freak. It's kind of ridiculous.

Sorry you are in pain right now. I'm not doing so hot myself. Just remember that all this shall pass. One way or the other. Hugs to you

Timetoheal12

Thank you, hopeful4 and freetosmile.

I think that blocking isn't enough for me yet, since that can be undone and I still get very anxious about his whereabouts, so I'll better stay away until I really let go of everything.

To think about him and his "love" also hurts me.
It is like I want to prove that he did felt something, or not.




I still have my cellphone so that way I can still communicate with friends and family. Facebook just makes me mad and sad nowadays so why keep it?
At least I won't be in there for a few weeks.

Thanks again and hugs for you two.

hopeful4

I am thinking of taking a break from FB for a few weeks too, just to do it. I feel I spend too much time on social media and think it's healthy to take a break.

Good for you!

ladyscribbler

My ex immediately got into another relationship. She doesn't drink, but is a super enabler who clearly has no issue exposing her own children to active alcoholism and all the craziness that goes along with it. Like Hopeful said, it's sad to think that he sought out someone who will help him stay sick rather than facing the reality of his disease, but that was his choice to make. He actually told his mother that marrying this other woman will help him in a custody fight because it makes him look like a stable family man.
I saw a quote on here from someone that was so good I wrote it in my journal.
"She is just a symptom of his self hatred and someone who signs off on his terrible behavior."
Hugs. It does get easier. Good call on deleting Facebook. That just seems like drama central to me.

Katchie

I don't know that this means he never truly loved you. I think what this means is that he is an addict and is looking for anyone willing to be steeped in his addiction with him. That's a recipe for some serious dysfunction and disaster. Nothing there to look at with envy. The old saying is true, misery does love company. If you can tell yourself, even if you don't quite believe it, that you're happy he is gone and your life is now wonderful, it may help ease some of the pain -- take as many negative thoughts out as possible and replace them with good ones and eventually they will be true to you!
I'm sorry for your hurt, but I think it's awesome that you've taken steps to correct it by taking your FB page down -- smart and healthy move!

Timetoheal12

Thanks everyone. It is weird because, when I broke up with him, first thing he did, was to start chasing a friend of mine ans posting all over the web how happy he was without me.
This and, some other things he did, make me wonder if he is something else, something more than being an A.
He was cruel sometimes, he wanted to get revenge if things weren't happening on his terms.

I know alcoholics are mainly selfish people (no offense... but it's what I've seen my whole life with my dad, and it is what I saw with my ex) but, I know that NOT ALL ALCOHOLICS are cruel like him, not all alcoholics are abusive in that way, not all alcoholics jump from relationship to relationship without closing the previous doors (other relationships) completely, and this is what my ex does.
I believe this last thing I mentioned isn't related to alcohol consumption; correct me if I'm wrong.




As for me, well my self-esteem is what I need to take care of the most in this time of my life.
And I guess I'm taking some good (little ones, but good) steps to make things happen.

I'm glad to have the opportunity to hear what others think in here... Thank you, always thank you.

LemonGirl

I think I am still in shock about the soon-to-be-ended relationship with my ABF. I have yet to really cry over it or look at pictures. I am not looking forward to that feeling of "it's over". So far, he is trying to be slightly volatile with me in an attempt to push me away. It's fine though. It is his defense because I'm sure he knows our end it coming. It is his way... Otherwise, he has NEVER said anything derogatory or mean to me. Just remember, that their actions are their lives, and our actions are ours. Btw, I too have no FB account for now. I plan on keeping it that way until I am ready to fully grieve the loss of this relationship. It not only keeps you from peeking in on him and "obsessing", but it keeps you from accidently posting some seriously personal stuff for everyone to see. Keeping your support circle anonymous and tight is important, I think. Good luck Timetoheal!