walkinganewpath

AH pronounces to me that this year will be better, he's really going to 'try', etc. Even states that 'well hey it can't get any worse can it?' He was sincere (aren't they always) and I know he really 'wants' to but isn't there yet.

My FIL flew back home on the 31st. After asking me if he could stay another week to which I replied it was not a good time. (AH had been drinking and it was escalating. They fight a lot and the tension in my house was horrible)

So New Year's day started with promises, with my house finally calming down after FIL's visit and ended with that 2x4 giving me a big whack.

Turns out that FIL started having heart issues on the flight home and was transported directly from the plane to the nearest hospital. Needs valve surgery (had open heart a few years ago). My understanding from SIL (nurse) is that valve surgery is not as complicated as what he had before - but still he's 74 and not in the best health.

We spent New Years at our friends house (overnight). He started with a few shots in the morning and then gave me the whole 'this year will be better, spiel. Then he has a few more, then gets all depressed because he screwed up and is drunk again when he didn't want to be. Goes to take a nap during which time I find out about FIL being in the hospital.

I tell him about FIL when he wakes up - nosedive into psycho land. Crying, frantic to get to Florida, he's already lost his mom and his brother. He's losing his whole family. I must have heard "I'm sorry" 50 times. Ends up getting a buddy to pick him up and take him to a bar where he drinks more. Comes home weaving, starts bawling on our DD (who's only 11). This might be the last time I see my dad (WTF did you have to go there with her???)

I dropped him off at the airport at 715am, hungover as all heck, still bawling, scared to be going alone, etc etc

OMG I feel sooo bad about this but I am so glad he is gone right now. I certainly don't want anything to happen to his dad and I'm worried about him but I need the space and am hopeful - cautiously so - that just maybe this is his bottom. He talked a bit more on the way to the airport about how tired he is and that he just doesn't know how to deal with this but wants to stop. I let him know there was an AA meeting schedule for his dad's area in his suitcase...told him I wasn't pushing but if he wanted to give it a try again he had the info to do so.

It's amazing isn't it how once you think the ride has slowed down a bit it takes off again into insanity. As one of my Al-Anon friends says - You just can't make this Sh$t up.

Thanks for the opportunity to get all that out. I'm finding the only place I can share this stuff is here and my meetings. Real Life family and friends who aren't educated about alcoholism just don't get it

RollTide

Sounds like another day in the life of an alcoholic. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

This board was a lifesaver for me as was AlAnon when I was going through the insanity.

Prayers for you.

CodeJob

Well, you could tell him not to come home. his bag is all packed. He could set up To go inpatient right after dealing with this family crisis...

Just a thought... Taking away his comfy place to land is what I had to do.

I'll pray for your FIL's procedure!

hopeful4

Don't count on this being his bottom at all. More likely an excuse to drink more. That is what they do. Any trigger at all, sickness, death, job loss, celebration, you name it, triggers them to drink even more.

My concern is for you and your DD. That is an awful lot to be putting on her at such a young age. I would watch her very closely for stress and get her into counseling ASAP should the need arise.

I am so sorry. I hope you get some rest from all of this. XXX

dandylion

walkinanewpath.....Whenever I decide to deep clean my house....it always gets worse before it gets better. However, if I just stick with the job until the finish....then it is sooo much better than before I started.

dandylion

walkinganewpath

You know CodeJob I had the same thought. At this point he does not have a return ticket. I just heard from him and he's already gone to the wrong hospital. DT's are starting to hit him too. I honestly hope he ends up in the ER himself or gets himself into trouble somehow. (I know that sounds bad but it is what it is) Thank goodness I'm not there with him!!!

walkinganewpath

I'm not really counting on it but am almost hoping that he gets himself into some kind of trouble down there. He doesn't have a return ticket.

I was soo pissed at him last night. He was such a big baby. I started getting a very insistent that it was TIME FOR BED EVERYBODY. I told DD that he was exaggerating a bit and was all emotional because he had had too much to drink again. My son is 8 and not as observant as her or as close to their dad (she's his little angel). My therapist and I have been discussing what options to pursue for my daughter to get some help. She's a little young for Alateen and the only meetings are not very close and a bit late on school nights.

walkinganewpath

And I have to admit it's only 1pm here and I'm already feeling so much calmer than I have in the past two weeks