Backstory and quick question
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 120
4 months totally relapsed. Sneaking and lying. Hiding alcohol. Totally back to where we were a year ago. Made for another great Christmas!
You know we had some good times this year. Sober, working toward common goals, just enjoying our time together.
You know we had some good times this year. Sober, working toward common goals, just enjoying our time together.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 120
Thanks for the support.
I'm doing great! Well, as good as can be expected. I realized a while ago that it's not my problem and I keep busy with things that make me happy, while she drinks and sleeps away her spare time.
New Interesting development: We work for the same company and I think (who am i kidding) I know, shes been drinking at work. I'm just counting the days until she gets caught. Since alcoholism is ADA protected and her boss already knows she has drinking problems (since the blow-up last Christmas) I expect they'll make her go back to AA or treatment. And we all know how successful that can be! lol
I'm doing great! Well, as good as can be expected. I realized a while ago that it's not my problem and I keep busy with things that make me happy, while she drinks and sleeps away her spare time.
New Interesting development: We work for the same company and I think (who am i kidding) I know, shes been drinking at work. I'm just counting the days until she gets caught. Since alcoholism is ADA protected and her boss already knows she has drinking problems (since the blow-up last Christmas) I expect they'll make her go back to AA or treatment. And we all know how successful that can be! lol
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Hi Nero,
Sorry it's still ongoing. Are you going to Alanon or getting other in person support for yourself? It's been incredibly helpful to me. May 2016 be a good year for you, no matter what is going on with your wife.
Miracles do happen. I see them daily. Yet this is a very counter-intuitive disease and my brain is dangerous on it's own!
Ktf
Sorry it's still ongoing. Are you going to Alanon or getting other in person support for yourself? It's been incredibly helpful to me. May 2016 be a good year for you, no matter what is going on with your wife.
Miracles do happen. I see them daily. Yet this is a very counter-intuitive disease and my brain is dangerous on it's own!
Ktf
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by keepingthefaith 
Hi Nero,
Sorry it's still ongoing. Are you going to Alanon or getting other in person support for yourself?
Sorry it's still ongoing. Are you going to Alanon or getting other in person support for yourself?
As far as divorce is concerned (I know some may be curious about that since it's been a big part of the thread). It's naturally back on the table. But there is no violence or anger in our household. No children are involved. I just have a high functioning alcoholic wife who sleeps alot.
My anger and control was what was pushing me to divorce in the first place. How dare she keep drinking, I'll show her! 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Nero I'm sorry it's such a roller coaster ride. My x and i weren't married...no kids....no violence...LOTS of anger on my part. I stayed for a long time thinking: well there's no kids that it's affecting, and I didn't want to leave 5 minutes before the miracle. This is our codie plight...we will just handle it for the good of the union.
We should be just as concerned for ourselves as we would be for kids involved. We deserve happy and fulfilling lives too! I was always so concerned that there would be a drunken incident in front of my family or friends, and once I got out, i finally had the space to see that i should be appalled at all the drunken incidents that happened in front of ME! Peace to you!
We should be just as concerned for ourselves as we would be for kids involved. We deserve happy and fulfilling lives too! I was always so concerned that there would be a drunken incident in front of my family or friends, and once I got out, i finally had the space to see that i should be appalled at all the drunken incidents that happened in front of ME! Peace to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by Nero427
I'm just counting the days until she gets caught.
And I think she's about to hit rock bottom.
She showed up to work this morning drunk. Supervisors were going to take her over for a mandatory blood alcohol test and had graciously already set her up for treatment. But then she dipped out and drove home drunk instead. Automatic termination.
That, my friends, is the last straw for me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
I'm sorry Nero, it's so sad to watch, and so devastating to live with.
Just so you know, some peoples bottoms are shockingly low, some don't have a bottom, and we on the outside can never tell where an alcoholic's rock bottom is.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought the X might be close...I would be wealthy, AND have a career as a fortune teller. I wish I had spent more time trying to see where MY rock bottom was. I would not have shaved years off my life from worry and pre-hypertension. I would not have lost so many nights of sleep. I would have spared myself weekly tension migraines. I would be happy and free at 33 rather than at 38. (((HUGS)))
Just so you know, some peoples bottoms are shockingly low, some don't have a bottom, and we on the outside can never tell where an alcoholic's rock bottom is.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought the X might be close...I would be wealthy, AND have a career as a fortune teller. I wish I had spent more time trying to see where MY rock bottom was. I would not have shaved years off my life from worry and pre-hypertension. I would not have lost so many nights of sleep. I would have spared myself weekly tension migraines. I would be happy and free at 33 rather than at 38. (((HUGS)))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Sorry to hear it happened, Nero. Guess it's no surprise. What day did it happen? If it just happened today, and she's still drunk, there's a big chance she's going to sober up and say she's changed her mind. Would her employer take her back if that's the case? Where do you stand on the matter if she does this? Is it time to jump off the Merry-Go-Round?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by Katchie
He "looked" like he was working a program but it lasted only long enough that I was softened up. After all, he was still sober and that AA stuff just isn't for him--he isn't like "those" people. Then he did eventually relapse. I would say he stayed sober maybe 6 months total?? Action, not words, on my part and his are really all that matter.
for posting those words in that exact way, it is exactly what I needed to hear right now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by Refiner
Sorry to hear it happened, Nero. Guess it's no surprise. What day did it happen? If it just happened today, and she's still drunk, there's a big chance she's going to sober up and say she's changed her mind. Would her employer take her back if that's the case? Where do you stand on the matter if she does this? Is it time to jump off the Merry-Go-Round?
I'm still at work and she been txting me nonstop. "you caused this didn't you", "you enabled me", "I only came to work with alcohol on my breath". Also txting her co-workers blaming them....and on it goes.
I am stepping off the Merry go round. I gave her a last chance last January. that's it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,424
Do you think you will be staying in the house?
Did the two of you discuss any of this in January when you made your boundary?
Could be tense--maybe check w/ lawyer and start process quickly
so disruption is as minimal as possible.
I'm very sorry she couldn't stay quit for you, and for her.
Did the two of you discuss any of this in January when you made your boundary?
Could be tense--maybe check w/ lawyer and start process quickly
so disruption is as minimal as possible.
I'm very sorry she couldn't stay quit for you, and for her.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 120
The ride never ends,
Shes been making suicide threats tonight. Said she was going to get her gun out of her purse and kill herself. Jokes on her, I took all the firearms out of the house earlier. Nevertheless her supervisor called the cops, they checked on her and she's at the hospital being evaluated.....just like last year. I'm counting on her getting straight, and serious, try to make amends and get back on track....just like last year. I think I see a pattern developing.
Shes been making suicide threats tonight. Said she was going to get her gun out of her purse and kill herself. Jokes on her, I took all the firearms out of the house earlier. Nevertheless her supervisor called the cops, they checked on her and she's at the hospital being evaluated.....just like last year. I'm counting on her getting straight, and serious, try to make amends and get back on track....just like last year. I think I see a pattern developing.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
