The Death of Pet Becomes a Chance for a Booty Call???
 

So my sweet cat of eleven years came down with cancer. It was a very quick downward turn. As you all know, I still live a few feet from my exABF. We hadn't spoken in two months, but I thought to myself, "if the roles were reversed, I would want a chance to say goodbye". Perhaps I was deluding myself on my intentions, but I really don't think so. However, I emailed him and told him what was going on and told him he could have a private moment with her if he wanted. He was very thankful and said he hoped this could be the start of peace between us... fast forward to 3 AM the night after I put my sweet kitty down, and he texts me saying that he is ready to talk and "catch up" but he only has time late at night due to his very busy schedule. I don't bite...he texts me again around midnight a few nights later asking if I was up and wanted to talk...again, I don't bite. But it dawns on me...could he really be trying to turn something so sad as the death of a beloved pet into a way to work me into a booty call? After all that has happened? I only reached out because she would go to his house and spend the night. She loved him and he loved her. It is amazing to think that that could be the reality here.

Nothing surprises me, nothing.

Lol. Its a sad little chuckle... but at least, six months out, it hasn't had the same impact on me that it would have had at the beginning. And in the end, my kitty really did settle down after saying goodbye to him. It was beautiful for her. That is what is important.

What difference does it make why he is doing it? You aren't interested and that is all that needs to matter for you.

I am so very sorry about your beloved cat. (hugs)

I guess you really have to ask yourself, in the months you have been apart and not talking – how much love or concern did he show towards the cat? I mean if the cat meant something to him he would have made an effort to spend time with it.

The mistake we make is in thinking that they think and feel like we do. You would of wanted to know so you could have said good bye had this been reversed but they are not like us, don’t think like us or feel like us.

Sadly and un-intentionally you have opened the door again – now you must close it and lock it for good!!!

Block his # and be done with him – AGAIN.

Thanks for the responses. This is not the beginning of some deep reengagement. I am weeks away from moving and have changed my work and perspective. Yes Hangn, it doesn't matter, but as Atalose mentioned, its remembering that there are people out there who just aren't like us.

I'm so sorry about you much-beloved kitty.
I lost one of my dogs after 13 years this past Spring and
when you've had an animal family member for so long, it's like a piece of you goes missing.

It is very good to hear you are moving away from him and I wish you a
very happy NEW Year with new friends and meaningful work :)

Sorry for the loss of your cat.

I might have missed reading it, the ex still drinking?

I am so sorry to hear about your cat.

I get so irritated about the active Alcoholic/addict mentality that a little sex cures all ills.
Drunk,slobbering, disconnected intellectually and emotionally, reeking of BO and cigarettes works for some people, I guess. It quit working for me.

Of course, when I announced that I would not be engaging sexually any more, that immediately rendered me good for nothing in his eyes. Nice to know that at one time, I was good for SOMETHING!

I am so sorry about your cat. Losing a part of you family like that is so devastating. I lost my dog to cancer like that a year ago and it was heartbreaking. I dont know exactly what his intentions are but I can bet they are not pure. Not taking the bait shows just how far you have come. Remember, you deserve to be honored and respected not some late night booty call.

I am so, so, so sorry about your kitty. I had to put mine down this year too, although she was healthy. Circumstances with my ABF caused my son and I to have to move around quite a bit, then I had to leave her someplace for a bit because I had to move in with my parents and they refused to let her stay. then she supposedly "attacked" the lady that was taking care of her. Long story short, the state of MA told me I had to put her down. Magnolia hated my ABF because of the way he treated me, so when I told him, he said he was glad about it. Effing alcoholics have no clue the range of damage they do. Sometimes I get really sick of the "disease" claim.

Oh, Timeiskey, I'm so sorry to hear about your precious furbaby!! Pets do become so dear...

As for the ex, well, in my world, if you contact me at Midnight or 3 a.m., it better involve fire, flood, blood loss, or loss of limb. No one who respects you, your time, your health and well-being will call you at those hours for any other reason.

Why would that be amazing?

Some people turn any situation into a way to meet their needs.

Sure if you would have made it easy
he would have taken it
then where would you be ??
Mountainman