New to forum - help!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
I'm shocked that dad didn't try to take the boys with him. What's his deal?
IMO, if there is a way for you to take the boys to Spain with you, since mom and dad don't have it together, I'd try that. Live your life. Give the boys the best life you can. Mom and dad will either figure it out or they won't, but don't sacrifice the well-being of your grandchildren while you wait to figure it out.
IMO, if there is a way for you to take the boys to Spain with you, since mom and dad don't have it together, I'd try that. Live your life. Give the boys the best life you can. Mom and dad will either figure it out or they won't, but don't sacrifice the well-being of your grandchildren while you wait to figure it out.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I would speak with the father and see if he will give you permission to take the children to Spain with you. You staying there to be her personal taxi is only going to drag it out even longer. Get the children away from her if at all possible.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 10
Yes we feel he has just dumped everything on to us and made her worse by leaving her instead of trying to support her but it has been hard on him too he said he promised he would never take the children away from her but that he could not take anymore,also he has nowhere to take them and has to go to work so cannot do the school runs ect.He is staying with his parents and they are not offering to help and never have.He does come to take them to their football and rugby at weekends.it is very hard as they keep asking why they don't see him much anymore he speaks to them on the phone and has told them he is away working we have not told them he has left yet as it is early days and don't know how things are going to turn out we may even have to take them to Spain with us it's all such a mess.can anyone tell us their thoughts on whether we should be driving her around to her customers or should we leave her to find a way of getting there as we are not allowing her to drive ?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 10
I don't know if my last message sent so I will repeat some of it.We found out that our daughter has been getting diazepam but not from our Dr. She has handed them over to us to control how many she takes as she says she has been taking too many and that is what is making her seem drunk ,she says she needs them to detox or else she could get serious withdrawal symptoms is this true ?
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Screwdriver, it sounds to me that she needs to be in an inpatient facility. I would take the children w/you to Spain until she can get herself straightened out or until the father gets himself into a stable position to have them w/him.
Yes, I do believe you are enabling her. Just my thoughts. I am sorry.
Yes, I do believe you are enabling her. Just my thoughts. I am sorry.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 10
Hi can anyone give me some info on self detox as we are not sure if our daughter needs to be given something like diazepam so that she does not experience serious symptoms we are living with her so can control the medication .
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
One other thing--I would NOT try to take the children with you to Spain without a legal document or the written permission of their parents to do so. International kidnapping laws are very strict these days--usually it is one of the parents who will take the children to their home country to hide them from the other parent, but I suspect those laws would also apply to another relative's doing the same.
Frankly, I think you should see a solicitor specializing in family law ASAP to find out what your options might be.
Driving your daughter to appointments IS enabling. Taking away her car keys is controlling. I understand your concern about the kids (and that is legitimate) but the way to protect the kids is to take action to do that--either to get temporary custody of them, or to make a report to child protection. It may be that if you get child protection involved, you could thereby obtain temporary custody of them. If she wants to keep her kids she will have to step up. Or if dad wants them, HE will have to step up. Right now, you seem to be the only stable person in their lives.
Please get some legal advice as soon as you can--this arrangement you have right now seems to be a recipe for disaster.
Frankly, I think you should see a solicitor specializing in family law ASAP to find out what your options might be.
Driving your daughter to appointments IS enabling. Taking away her car keys is controlling. I understand your concern about the kids (and that is legitimate) but the way to protect the kids is to take action to do that--either to get temporary custody of them, or to make a report to child protection. It may be that if you get child protection involved, you could thereby obtain temporary custody of them. If she wants to keep her kids she will have to step up. Or if dad wants them, HE will have to step up. Right now, you seem to be the only stable person in their lives.
Please get some legal advice as soon as you can--this arrangement you have right now seems to be a recipe for disaster.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
