The Language of Letting Go, Dec. 29
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
The Language of Letting Go, Dec. 29
DECEMBER 29
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Moving On
Learn the art of acceptance. It's a lot of grief.
--Codependent No More
Sometimes, as part of taking care of ourselves, it becomes time to end certain relationships. Sometimes, it comes time to change the parameters of a particular relationship.
This is true in love, in friendships, with family, and on the job.
Endings and changes in relationships are not easy. But often, they are necessary.
Sometimes, we linger in relationships that are dead, out of fear of being alone or to postpone the inevitable grieving process that accompanies endings. Sometimes, we need to linger for a while, to prepare ourselves, to get strong and ready enough to handle the change.
If that is what we are doing, we can be gentle with ourselves. It is better to wait until that moment when it feels solid, clear, and consistent to act.
We will know. We will know. We can trust ourselves.
Knowing that a relationship is changing or is about to end is a difficult place to be in, especially when it is not yet time to act but we know the time is drawing near. It can be awkward and uncomfortable, as the lesson draws to a close. We may become impatient to put closure on it, but not yet feel empowered to do that. That's okay. The time is not yet right. Something important is still happening. When the time is right, we can trust that it will happen. We will receive the power and the ability to do what we need to do.
Ending relationships or changing the boundaries of a particular relationship is not easy. It requires courage and faith. It requires a willingness on our part to take care of ourselves and, sometimes, to stand-alone for a while.
Let go of fear. Understand that change is an important part of recovery. Love yourself enough to do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and find enough confidence to believe that you will love again.
We are never starting over. In recovery, we are moving forward in a perfectly planned progression of lessons. We will find ourselves with certain people--in love, family, friendships, and work--when we need to be with them. When the lesson has been mastered, we will move on. We will find ourselves in a new place, learning new lessons, with new people.
No, the lessons are not all painful. We will arrive at that place where we can learn, not from pain, but from joy and love.
Our needs will get met.
Today, I will accept where I am in my relationships, even if that place is awkward and uncomfortable. If I am in the midst of endings, I will face and accept my grief. Higher Power, help me trust that the path I am on has been perfectly and lovingly planned for me. Help me believe that my relationships are teaching me important lessons. Help me accept and be grateful for middles, endings, and new beginnings.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Moving On
Learn the art of acceptance. It's a lot of grief.
--Codependent No More
Sometimes, as part of taking care of ourselves, it becomes time to end certain relationships. Sometimes, it comes time to change the parameters of a particular relationship.
This is true in love, in friendships, with family, and on the job.
Endings and changes in relationships are not easy. But often, they are necessary.
Sometimes, we linger in relationships that are dead, out of fear of being alone or to postpone the inevitable grieving process that accompanies endings. Sometimes, we need to linger for a while, to prepare ourselves, to get strong and ready enough to handle the change.
If that is what we are doing, we can be gentle with ourselves. It is better to wait until that moment when it feels solid, clear, and consistent to act.
We will know. We will know. We can trust ourselves.
Knowing that a relationship is changing or is about to end is a difficult place to be in, especially when it is not yet time to act but we know the time is drawing near. It can be awkward and uncomfortable, as the lesson draws to a close. We may become impatient to put closure on it, but not yet feel empowered to do that. That's okay. The time is not yet right. Something important is still happening. When the time is right, we can trust that it will happen. We will receive the power and the ability to do what we need to do.
Ending relationships or changing the boundaries of a particular relationship is not easy. It requires courage and faith. It requires a willingness on our part to take care of ourselves and, sometimes, to stand-alone for a while.
Let go of fear. Understand that change is an important part of recovery. Love yourself enough to do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and find enough confidence to believe that you will love again.
We are never starting over. In recovery, we are moving forward in a perfectly planned progression of lessons. We will find ourselves with certain people--in love, family, friendships, and work--when we need to be with them. When the lesson has been mastered, we will move on. We will find ourselves in a new place, learning new lessons, with new people.
No, the lessons are not all painful. We will arrive at that place where we can learn, not from pain, but from joy and love.
Our needs will get met.
Today, I will accept where I am in my relationships, even if that place is awkward and uncomfortable. If I am in the midst of endings, I will face and accept my grief. Higher Power, help me trust that the path I am on has been perfectly and lovingly planned for me. Help me believe that my relationships are teaching me important lessons. Help me accept and be grateful for middles, endings, and new beginnings.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
Thank you. I usually don't read these, but today I did, and it's perfect for how I am feeling. I think I've closed the relationship with my (R?)XBF.
I went to Amazon to search for this, and it popped up in my "Recommended For You."
That's too many signs. It's now waiting for me to read on my Kindle.
I went to Amazon to search for this, and it popped up in my "Recommended For You."
That's too many signs. It's now waiting for me to read on my Kindle.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
I had read a post from this book somewhere else, liked it a lot and put the book on hold at my local library. After reading a few days' worth, knew I had to buy the book also. Sometimes the day's thought is so spot on, it's amazing. Like the Universe is hitting me in the head--"Hey! You! Wake up and listen to this!"
Glad you had one of those moments too.
Glad you had one of those moments too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Southeastern Michigan
Posts: 137
I've been half-heartedly reading these every day. None really meant much.
Then this--today. On our 26th wedding anniversary. And we're not speaking. Not over a drinking incident, just over a disagreement we had in which I apologized, he wouldn't accept the apology, so then hours later, when he did, I was mad at him. And we've stayed this way for a day and a half.
Ugh. Life. Like I said somewhere else--maybe it's not so much that he's an AH--just an a$$hole. Yet I stay...
Then this--today. On our 26th wedding anniversary. And we're not speaking. Not over a drinking incident, just over a disagreement we had in which I apologized, he wouldn't accept the apology, so then hours later, when he did, I was mad at him. And we've stayed this way for a day and a half.
Ugh. Life. Like I said somewhere else--maybe it's not so much that he's an AH--just an a$$hole. Yet I stay...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
