time on my hands
 

What do you do when your kids go to visit the father of the axh?

How old are they?

4 and 6

do you mean the grandfather on their father's side???? As in...their father's father?

dandylion

I think you need to provide us with a little more context for your question, weezer. What is it, exactly, that you're concerned about? What are you afraid might happen? What is it you're unsure about?

I mean, for some people the answer would be "pack their bags and drop them off for a fun weekend." For other people it might be "make sure that their father isn't going to be there for any reason" (e.g., where there is an order prohibiting contact with the children).

My kids are with my axh. For visitation. I have 8 days alone. I went out last night and am meeting some friends tonight. My question and feelings are of loneliness I think. I have a list of things to do while they are gone. I am beginning to feel lonely in general but now with my girls gone for 8 days...its a little magnified. I just was curious what other parents do when the kids are gone. This is newer to me.

Ah, I gotcha.

Hm, well, whatever is hard to do when you've got little ones around. There are some projects/chores around the house that can be very tough to get accomplished without a good block of time, so those things can be nice to get done. I like going out to a bookstore and browsing with a nice cup of coffee. Napping is nice, as is giving yourself an at-home spa treatment (doing nails, etc.). Renting some movies that aren't suitable for kids is another nice way to while away an evening. I'm a big reader, so curling up with a good book is pleasant, too.

I'm sure there will be some other ideas.

I do projects, Al-Anon, pet my cat, call my loved ones when I get sad.

I take bubble baths, watch my TV shows, exercise, visit friends, go to the library, do deep cleaning projects, go to al anon meetings, browse in antique stores.

Oh my gosh, I dealt with this last July when my boys (13 and 5) were visiting their grandparents. A whole month off. It was truly a weird feeling, like, downtime, only washing my own laundry, only cooking for myself, what is this?
What I did- tried new things. Every day in the paper there's a list of free or low cost activities around town. I tried a free Reiki session, went to the Roller Derby, took long walks, browsed sidewalk sales, caught up on my reading with a stack of books from the library, sat down and watched movies on Netflix uninterrupted (!!!) without having to stay up all night. And Alanon, hot baths, all that other good stuff I usually do for self care as well.
Of course I missed them, but we talked every Sunday. The trick is, don't feel guilty. Taking time to recharge makes you a better mom, which is good for your kids. Relax, enjoy yourself. You deserve a little break.

I just binge-watched 4 episodes of glee. ;)
My kids have only been at their dad's for not even 10 hours and I'm bored.

Last night i had no kids or dogs. I took down all my christmas stuff and put it away. Moved my furniture around and cleaned. Its a great feeling to accomplish something. (my kids are 21 and 22)

I feel like when my 11 year old is gone even for the night, I have lost my rudder and spin around aimlessly.

Yesterday he was gone with the ex part of the day and with his Big Brother in the evening so I went to lunch with a friend, tried to see a grown up movie (but theater was packed!), did some shopping, then watched Lost (I'd never watched it so I'm late to the party but now hooked - thank goodness for Netflix).

I used to think I had to Make the Most Of my Limited Time Alone - so I put huge pressure on myself to Do Something, rather than just chill out at home. I try to just go with the flow now.

I went dancing! It was awesome. Took down my tree. Made a list of other things to do. Im also a runner so that helps too.

It's such a strange feeling when they go because when they are home your life revolves around them. I watch netflix, exercise, go shopping, meet up with friends, tackle some project around the house, read of book. I also have a "list" of things I have always wanted to do that I can refer to. It takes some adjustment but you will learn to enjoy your down time. It's a time to rediscover exactly who you are as an individual and not just a "mom".

Read a book, go to a movie you can't take kids to.

Bubble baths......tea and cookies...naps........

I remember when my kids started going to my X's, I did not know what to do with myself. I joined a bible study. Tonight I need to return a couple of Xmas gifts. I grocery shop b/c taking my kids adds about $100 to my bill, so I go w/out them. I read. I watch movies. I clean and do laundry. Spend time with friends.

You will get the hang of it. XXX