Experience, Strength and Hope
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Experience, Strength and Hope
This time last year I was righteous, I was angry and I was hurting more than I had ever hurt in my entire life. I spent this past year being a very regular poster here, seeing a counselor and attending al-anon and I have grown enough to be able to have happy and fun holidays. Other people's choices do not have to dictate my feelings, my surroundings or my choices. I can respond to any situation and manage my emotions in any situation in whatever way best suits my needs and the needs of my children. As a result, I had an awesome Christmas regardless of whatever my alcoholic loved one was doing.
There are three quick go-to things that I think of now when I'm having a moment (okay, sometimes it's more than just a moment) of struggle/frustration:
1. The 3 C's - I did not cause it, I cannot control it, I cannot cure it.
2. The serenity prayer (even though I'm not a prayer type of person this short prayer is just straight logical)
3. Do it anyway - which is the nut shell of Mother Teresa's poem below:
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
I am so grateful for this site and this forum in particular. I hope all of the regulars had a fun and enjoyable holiday today. To the newbies, I was you at this time last year. Stick around, read as much as you can possibly absorb and then get yourself some good local support when you feel ready. Your life can be so much better and the tools are available to you, you just need to reach out and grab them.
There are three quick go-to things that I think of now when I'm having a moment (okay, sometimes it's more than just a moment) of struggle/frustration:
1. The 3 C's - I did not cause it, I cannot control it, I cannot cure it.
2. The serenity prayer (even though I'm not a prayer type of person this short prayer is just straight logical)
3. Do it anyway - which is the nut shell of Mother Teresa's poem below:
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
I am so grateful for this site and this forum in particular. I hope all of the regulars had a fun and enjoyable holiday today. To the newbies, I was you at this time last year. Stick around, read as much as you can possibly absorb and then get yourself some good local support when you feel ready. Your life can be so much better and the tools are available to you, you just need to reach out and grab them.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
Wonderful post stung--gentle correction on #3 source as your 3 are on my top list as well--from The Paradoxical Ten Commandments written by a guy who wrote them as a leadership credo for young leaders--found in my inner work 15 years ago--changed my life forever in good ways.
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