prodigal

I read it here both overtly stated and covertly stated between the lines, but I've been accused of everything from "YOU HATE MY GUTS!!!" to "I'M AFRAID OF YOU BECAUSE I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO TRY TO KILL ME." Oh puullleezzeee!

I can't explain how I got past it ... yeah, it annoys the heck outta me that he says this type of garbage, but something finally snapped the last time he broke something in the house, then turned around and accused me of being violent and hateful.

Quack, quack, quack is absolutely correct. I can't explain how it came about, but in my deepest being I don't believe what he's saying. I know I'm not a hateful, contemptuous woman. I know he's acting like a horse's *** and blaming me, yet completely denying his own lousy behavior by behaving as if nothing ever happened.

No, he no longer can yank my chain or push my buttons. Now it's just living with the lonliness of someone who is incapable at this time of relating as a husband and understanding that marriage is a collaborative situation - not just a separate "you" vs. "me". Sad, very very sad.

Karivan

((((Prodigal)))) :sad6: I don't have any personal experience with the violent side of alocoholism so I don't have any advice. Just hugs and I hope you find peace someday.

brightlight

I have been married for over 12 years and now he says the same. I am too tired to put my story here, but I have been reading all the posts and all this has really helped me through some bad nights.

bookworm

(((((Prodigal))))))

G does this stuff too - I turn it around, so that when he says "You hate me" it becomes "I hate me" and "I'm afraid of you because I think you're trying to kill me" would be "I'm afraid of me because I think I'm trying to kill me". Truer words have never been said if you ask me. It's a great detachment tool.
Sandra