honeypig

As some of you may remember, in my post about the day I finally filed for divorce, I mentioned that when I got back in the car to leave the courthouse, I turned on the radio to be greeted by The Who doing "Won't Get Fooled Again."

Well, apparently my HP continues to inhabit the radio in my 17-year-old Saturn wagon. I'd been struggling a bit w/my decision lately, not so much in the sense of completely abandoning the divorce, but more like "maybe I should just do a separation, maybe we should use the additional 3-month delay (court date in March, and that should be the first and last date, since it's an uncontested divorce), etc., etc." And of course it doesn't help that it's the holidays and it doesn't help that he's having a lot of health issues (of his own making...) and so on. I've been feeling a lot of that old codie crap about him "needing" me, blah blah.

But as I was pondering all this stuff in the early AM yesterday, driving to work, I turned on the radio and there was Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, "I Won't Back Down." Well, wtf, this is beginning to get weird!

And sure enough, today he came in from letting the dogs out and failed to close the door tight (we live in Wisconsin, and I prefer not to pay to heat the outdoors). I mentioned to him, in as neutral a tone as I could, in as non-accusatory a way as I could, that the door had not been closed tight. The reply? "Well, I often find that YOU leave it open too!" And this is absolutely his pattern when things like this arise--he is totally and completely unable to say "oh, sorry, I'll be more careful" and then do that. It always turns into an exchange of accusations. When I said "If I'm leaving it open, I'd appreciate you mentioning it to me then rather than using it as a comeback", he said "Well, that just feels like I'm going nana nana boo boo to you if I'm the one who brings it up." Huh? And it doesn't feel like nana nana boo boo if you use it as a comeback?

In the past, things like this have usually escalated into big fights, but today, luckily, I was on my way out the door to my Sunday Alanon meeting, so I just disengaged and left. I stewed about it all the way to the meeting, but as usual, I left the meeting w/a new outlook and a better attitude.

I was never a big Tom Petty fan, but I guess maybe that will have to change....

Link for those who might not know the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvlTJrNJ5lA

dandylion

Honeypig....I think it is very normal for even the most self-confident to have mini-waves of doubt at the time of the really BIG decisions...in the 11th hour!

It is good that you are able to squash those thoughts like a bug!

dandylion

**You might be ready for some Helen Reddy, about now.....LOL!

dandylion

honeypig

Hear me roar!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zu4xpDuf84A

maia1234

HP- I am divorced and I have self doubt about my divorce. But yesterday he had to call the insurance company and was on with them for an hour. He proceeded to call me and scream at me because of that. I started crying and hung up. He called back 10 minutes later and apologized. So I need to remember the crxp that he puts me through, to make sure that I made the correct decision.

You don't have to make that decision today, just take one day at a time.

Merry Christmas!!

SparkleKitty

I *am* a big TP & the Heartbreakers fan (seen them live five times) and have no trouble imagining anyone's HP using them to pass along a timely message.

LexieCat

I wasn't a big TP & Hb fan until this year--when I went to my first live show and they absolutely blew me away--to the extent that I went again to see them the following night in a different city. They are FANTASTIC on songs about being strong.

I highly HIGHLY recommend getting your paws on Runnin' Down a Dream--a documentary (FOUR HOURS LONG, but not boring for one second) about TP and the band. It is incredible.

Tom was abused by his father, and that colored a lot of his experiences and his music. What doesn't kill us really DOES make us stronger!

honeypig

Lexie, I just put this in my Netflix queue per your suggestion. However, it only shows as being 137 minutes, not 4 hours. If I look it up on Google, it's 239 minutes, as you say. Is the Netflix version maybe only 1 disc of the set or ??

AnvilheadII

CHANGE OF HEART (tom petty and the heartbreakers)

Well, I fought for you, I fought too hard
To do it all again, babe, it's gone too far
You never needed me, you only wanted me around
It gets me down

There's been a change
Yeah, there's been a change of heart
Said, there's been a change
You push just a little too far
Made it just a little too hard
There's been a change of heart

I'll get over you, it won't take long
I've stood in your gallery seen what's hangin' from the wall
You were the moon and sun, you're just a loaded gun now
It gets me down

There's been a change
Yeah, there's been a change of heart
Said, there's been a change
You push just a little too far
Made it just a little to hard
There's been a change of heart

Whoa, yeah, oh boy
Looks like we finally reached the turning point
Oh, me, oh my
Looks like it's time for me to kiss it goodbye
Yeah, kiss it goodbye

There's been a change
Yeah, there's been a change of heart
Said, there's been a change
You push just a little too far
Made it just a little to hard
There's been a change of heart, oh



Read more: Tom Petty - A Change Of Heart Lyrics | MetroLyrics

LexieCat

Could just be a typo--the reviews on Netflix refer to it as 4 hours.

It's only available on DVD at Netflix, not for streaming, so I'm limited in what I can see on the website (my subscription is only for streaming).

amy55

Oh how that radio can talk to us. When I was at my worst, yes, I heard, Won't back down, also heard Boz Skaggs, It's Over, and I get knocked down, but I get up again by I forget who, a really strange name that begins with a C, also a lot of Kelly Clarkson angry songs.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

amy

theuncertainty

Tubthumping by Chumbawumba

I love TP & the HB and DS (age 10) does, too. One that I heard a lot more often as I was going through the stuff around my divorce and custody with AXH was Don't Come Round Here No More

Florence

I have a friend that swears by "Ouija Radio." Somehow there's always a song on that speaks to her. I've seen it happening and it's really wild.

Life is weird! But it's what you needed!

honeypig

Thanks for all the replies, song recommendations and general input, folks.

I guess I'd never have expected to hear the voice of my HP coming out of a car radio, but then again, I've always held that cars become sentient once they get old enough. The electrical systems get strange and there's always a bit of a "ghost in the machine" thing going on, at least in my experience.

"Ouija Radio", indeed!

Hope everyone's having a good day.

shil2587

I don't know if it's a HP thing or our subconscious knowing what we need to do and looking for cues to prod us in that direction. I like to think it's a combination of the two, but I find the idea that deep ddown we know what we should do, comforting.

honeypig

I think you're probably right, shil, and I find that idea comforting also.

lillamy

You know, I totally believe God has some input on what they play on FM radio! I remember one particularly ugly day during my divorce when I was driving down the road with the kids in the car, crying and trying to hide it, and what comes on?

"It's the end of the world as we know it.
The end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
And I feel fine..."

walkinganewpath

Isn't it weird how HP shows you what you need to hear and even weirder when it seems to come from the radio? Right after MIL died AH and BIL and I spent a lot of time together. Seemed like everytime we got in the car or turned on tunes while hanging at FIL's pool there was something that made us think she was saying it was ok...The Climb was her go to song when dying, Elvis was her all time favorite and Journey's Faithfully was AH and my's wedding song. Those tunes were all over the airwaves for the next two weeks.

Sorry that you are questioning yourself but am glad that your HP is guiding you and even more glad that you are paying attention.

theuncertainty

Sometimes they don't even need to be that old. My car is only 3 and decides to roll the driver's side window down on occasion (while my arm is no where near the window control) and will 'refuse' to let me roll it back up until I park, turn off and restart the engine a couple times. As ungrateful for the fresh air that I am (it's happened a few times in the middle of winter on our 1-2 hour commute), I've taken her in to be looked at, only to be told "We couldn't get it to replicate the error, and everything appears to be working fine, TU. Let us know if it continues to happen." (I'm fairly certain they were snickering about the geeky-gal who couldn't figure out how to click the right the window button.) At least it's only one window, instead of all 4. However, I could've done without her blowing her head-gasket this past summer.

And I personally think that music is the only way my HP is able to get through to me sometimes. "Gosh darn it, TU, I've been 'painting' this into the raspberry plants in your front yard, spelled it out on a flyer on bulletin board, and ... for months now... Will you LISTEN?"

suncatcher

Great post Honeypig! I have read that angels often speak to us through music! I also can relate to the guilt/codie thing about bbeing needed..As well as the health issues of his own making. My Xabf is having health issues and I've been his main support person through his latest surgery for diverticulitis. I am trying to maintain a healthy distance yet still be his friend and not get too sucked in by the "but he needs me!" Voice in my head. Maybe I need to listen to TP! Lol