tigerlily1

This is my first post. I like many others have been reading all of your stories for a few months. It is a comforting feeling to know that I am not alone in my feelings. Tonight however, I feel the need to share just a little. I have been with my AH for 14 years. I have an 18 year old son from a previous marriage. My AH has been drinking for the entire relationship. However, things have gradually over the years gotten worse and worse. My son will graduate this year and then is going off to college. That leaves me alone in a relationship with someone who will choose drinking over me every single day. I have done what so many of you have cried, pleaded, begged, threatened and just been numb. Nothing changes ever. I also have MS. I am and RN but am no longer able to work because of my MS. This leaves me in a bad position financially as I will only ever get disability. I guess like so many of you part of me wants to leave and be free but part of me is terrified of the what ifs. Tonight I am soo sad that I am being treated in this manner and allowing myself to be treated this way. I am also soo angry that my life has turned out like this. Thanks for listening! I do appreciate all that everyone on here has shared.

Dee74

I'm glad you decided to share your story tigerlily.

I know you'll find support, wisdom and a wealth of experience here.

I think a lot of people are terrified by the what ifs. I hope some of our members who've been there can help

welcome to SR

D

CodeJob

Hello TigerLily,

Welcome to SR!

I'm sorry your MS is at a point it is so debilitating. Living with an A makes one already self isolate. You sound concerned this isolation will get worse as your son leaves for college.

What can you do to offset that? Joining SR is a good start!

dandylion

tigerlily1....welcome to the forum!!!

I, also, want to emphasize the importance of avoiding isolation. Interaction with others who understand and respond back to you in healthy ways can do wonders for your outlook and.....just all-round quality of life.

You have made a good step by coming here, to SR.

dandylion

lillamy

Welcome, Tigerlily!

I'm sorry you find yourself in the situation you do. It's hard enough when you're physically healthy to break free of an alcoholic relationship -- having MS must make you feel like your options are even more limited.

To me, starting to talk to people about my situation being married to an A was a relief. Even if I didn't change anything (at first), just talking to people who understood made me feel less alone.

And while you have special challenges, I just want you to know that most of us have felt that our situation was impossible and that any ways out felt impossible as well. When you are in that spot, having people who listen and understand helps. SR is fabulous. I also found out recently that there are online Al-Anon meetings -- I don't know if they can replace the feeling of sitting in a room with real flesh and blood people who show you they care and love you, but if you have a hard time getting to a meeting, that might be an option.

freetosmile

I have learned a great deal from SR and come here often when I need to blow some steam or ask for advice. I do believe you will find some comfort here. I know I have. ((((hugs)))))

SoberLeigh

. (double post).

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, tigerlily; I am sorry for the circumstances which have brought you here.

tigerlily1

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome! I am hoping that belonging to SR will help avoid isolation. There really is a wealth of information here. We moved out to an acreage 2.5 years ago. In hindsight not such a great idea. The verbal abuse has escalated since. No physical abuse. The verbal abuse only happens when he is drinking. I know that does not make it acceptable but just wanted to note that when sober he is not abusive at all. Again thanks for the welcome!!