FireSprite

Uh huh, yep, you betcha.

You are STRONG freetosmile, just in a bad place right now.

amy55

I had 2 bedwetters. My youngest 2. They did grow out of it. Take care of yourself today. If you feeling yourself falling just give us an SOS call.

hopeful4

Isolation is a form of abuse. Don't forget that. You tell whomever you want, you need a face to face support system.

When I opened up about my X's alcoholism, something clicked in me and I gained a support system that was wonderful.

DO NOT ISOLATE!

XXX

happybeingme

Dont laugh but have you tried soaking the smelly pants in vinegar? I have used it on cat urine in carpeting and it works great.

Refiner

What is your game plan if he comes back and drinks again? (or when he does... he's going into this thing kicking and screaming). Will you have access to his normal paycheck while he is gone? What about when he comes back and there's still no money because he's spending it all on booze (like he is now)?

freetosmile

My plan B is the big D. This is my last hope (for the marriage anyway). So, should that fail, I will have to resign from school, get a job, and get divorced. Period. I really need to follow through on that.

I am resentful because I had hoped to take the time he was gone and really focus on me, and yes I can still do that, I just really didn't want to have to worry so much about the money aspect.

I'm sure he will pawn his tools tonight. So that will be just great. They are Milwaukee tools and VERY expensive. He will probably pawn for 75$ and then I will be the one who has to figure out how to get them out. They are valued at over 400$...so I DO NOT want to lose them. I bought them for him as a gift. So technically they are his, maybe I just shouldn't worry about it. But I do use them ....

amy55

Just know that you don't have to think today. You can put everything in a "box" till you are able to deal with things. Today, is a "me" day for you.

freetosmile

No, I haven't actually. How long should I soak them for?

amy55

I've used the vinegar on pet smells, it does work. I don't know how long to soak the pants for. Try a half hour. Also heard vinegar is good for washing new clothes, like the red ones that tend to fade. It's supposed to help keep the color longer.

Refiner

And good luck on your final exams!

freetosmile

Hmm...I had no idea! I was going to bleach his blankets (last resort) even if it took the color out because his room just reeks and I wash and wash. Of course with it being winter, opening the windows is out of the question.

I'm going to go soak them now. Thanks for this info.

LexieCat

I'm sure living in the house with the crazy man doesn't help, either. I hope you all get some peace and quiet soon. Whether he takes this opportunity to embrace recovery or not, you ALL need a break.

LexieCat

Yes to the vinegar! Also, there are other products out there (try a pet supply store) that remove/neutralize urine odors.

dandylion

freetosmile....I understand...remember my experience with medical school and 3 k ids? LOL!
Pritorize. Say "screw it" to every single thing except for making sure the kids are safe and fed until after finals are over on friday. The finals are pertinent to your future goals.
This is how I got through periods of extreme pressure...the only way...

I will mention this because it sometimes crept up on me: Is there any PMS going on? LOL! don't laugh...it is a valid question.

Ignore your husband....at least until after finals on Friday night. He will live until then.

When he is gone to rehab..see you sister as much as you want. Tell her you are studying until after friday....
Please do not isolate yourself from anyone.....
And, don't slack on your goals because of him.....Your goals are important because your kids are going to depend on YOU.

Just a few words from someone who has been in your pressured shoes.

dandylion

dandylion

Yes, vinegar or lemon juice for the odor removal. I have used it, too.

dandylion

Sungrl

Do you think your son's problem is related to your husbands drinking?

I by no means am a doctor or a psychologist, but if the condition is serious (and he does seem a little older) could they be related? or it maybe it's something medical. Have you guys seen a doctor?

Just putting that out there, that must be horrible for him.

theuncertainty

DS had a rough time with accidents, too. He's pretty much grown out of it now. I'd throw his sheets and underwear in the wash with probably about a cup of vinegar, maybe ? (I just poured it into the bleach section of the washer), and washed like normal, and rinsed twice. It usually came out smelling OK. If I'd gotten behind with the wash and it had had to sit for a bit, I'd run it through the same but with vinegar in the 1st rinse, too.

freetosmile

very astute of you! I have been having hormonal issues lately, lots of pelvic pain, irregular menses, the whole nine. I'm working with my doc to find some resolution. I have been trying to tell myself that a portion of this is my hormones....but of course then I just get pissed at myself for trying to make excuses.

freetosmile

he had the issue before ah relapsed...AH was sober when me and my kids met him and his kids. But I would take a gander that the situation has made it increasingly difficult for him to work on it or ask for help because dad is drunk and kind of cold about it. And mom...well mom just cries all the damn time or is yelling, so he is probably scared to ask for help. I have offered other suggestions but have been turned down. Maybe when my A leaves, we can focus on that too. So far I've just been quietly cleaning up after him to help his dignity and have backed off of finding a solution. This conversation reminds me of my children's need for me. I needed the wake up call.

Cleo1234

My son is now 11... but he also use to wet his bed up until he almost turned 10. It was so frustrating... especially when you have to change the sheets and PJ's in the middle of the night. His pediatrician suggested this pager that you attach to their underwear and if the slightest drop gets on it, the pager immediately buzzes and makes a loud sound to wake them up to use the restroom. After about 3 months of my son using this he was able to hold his pee all night or wake him self up. If you like, i can see if i still have mine and send it to you. I how how awful my son felt over this, so i know the pain your son is in.

Here is the link to the one i have ( i hope i can still find it!!! )
Malem Ultimate Bedwetting Alarm | Bedwetting Store