freetosmile

I'm really sorry this: but I don't really have any friends or family. I'm pretty isolated and I need an outlet. I really am having a hard time. I need to write and be heard.

Cold and empty
Sorrow and rage
I keep myself inside this cage

Scared and pathetic
Jealous am I
This mind of mine- I just can't abide

I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying inside
I'm the death of me and from me, I can't hide.

Give me the tools, give me a sign
Dear God let me know that I'm still alive

A breath of fresh air, and the wind in my face
I know, I just know...there is God in this place

Don't hide from me God, I need you so much
Can't you see that I'm drowning? I seek only your touch.

That touch from the sun, the warmth on my skin
You know me so well, from the outside and in.

I want peace so badly, and what must I do?
I feel so far, so far from you.

Don't leave me God, don't cut me from the vine,
redemption, deliverance, can that really be mine?

Can I find peace with so much destruction?
Can I find solace with this much dysfunction?

I choose to stay and I choose to endure
because I believe I deserve nothing more

Can someone wipe these clouds, these clouds from my eyes?
Clarity, clarity......under these gray skies.



Thank you for the vent. I need it tonight. I am really struggling to make sense of everything. Having a BAD day today.

LexieCat

I'm sorry it was such a horrible day. Better ones will come, I promise.

God isn't "hiding" from you. Maybe you're just looking in the wrong places.

Hugs, hope today is better for you.

DesertEyes

Oh wow, FreeToSmile, that is such a touching poem. It totally fits the way I felt when my marriage fell apart due to addiction. Yes, I also struggled trying to make sense of it all.

I hope your day today is a little bit better. I know when I was in the middle of my darkest days I could not see any changes for the better at all, every day was awful. Coming here to SR and to real life meets is what helped me find that "breath of fresh air" in your poem.

Please write as much poetry as you want, that's what SR is for.

Mike

marie1960

can someone wipe these clouds, these cloud from my eyes.


yes someone can....

YOU

your words touched me, I do know how you are feeling, taking better care of you and meeting your own needs is the only way I know thru this.

Sending your tons of support.

amy55

freetosmile, I hear you, I really do. I can so relate to your poem. I felt that way also. You have a family now. Us. We hear you.

You deserve the best. You are a terrific person.

Thank you for sharing the poem with us. I can really identify with it.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))

hope tomorrow is better
amy

amy55

Bumping ......

This poem is so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. I think it epitomizes how many feel when they first get to SR.

I think this should be made a sticky

(((((((((hugs)))))))))
amy

Katchie

What a beautiful, heartbreaking poem. It sums up a lot of my feelings too. Wish I could write as well as you do; what a nice gift God has given to you. I can see you're a person of faith. God never turns his back on us or refuses to listen. There are answers, sometimes answers we don't want to hear. I was given an answer I shared with my therapist yesterday and I honestly told her it scares me. Please read 2 Thessalonians 3:6,14&15. It's very clear what to do with one not walking according to the word of God. Then, for comfort, read Jeremiah 29:11-14. Hugs...I'm saying prayers for you today.

DesertEyes

Done stickied under "Classic Reading"

Mike

amy55

Thank you so much Mike. It made me cry, in a good way.

The poem is so beautiful, you can actually see into the depth of a persons heart and soul that suffers from DV and is calling out and crying out to finally be heard.