Husband Wants To Drink On Upcoming Cruise
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by Justbreathe1980 
Everything is very gray in our relationship right now. I have laid out the boundary that I don't want to be in a relationship with an active alcoholic, and so he is currently respecting this boundary by not drinking, even though he is probably resentful because he is doing it for me and not himself. But at the same time, he has not been angry and has been happy in the past few weeks, so that is good, as I would not want to be around an angry sober person.
He is now putting up a boundary that says he will abstain from drinking except on his annual vacation. I could challenge this boundary in some ways but am choosing not to because I think that would be controlling him too much and he could become resentful. So, at this time, I am choosing to allow this boundary of his, as long as he returns to my boundary when we return home.
I know that if I was to tell him I don't want to go if he drinks, he most likely would not drink. But I am choosing not to go this route because my gut feeling tells me not to.
He is now putting up a boundary that says he will abstain from drinking except on his annual vacation. I could challenge this boundary in some ways but am choosing not to because I think that would be controlling him too much and he could become resentful. So, at this time, I am choosing to allow this boundary of his, as long as he returns to my boundary when we return home.
I know that if I was to tell him I don't want to go if he drinks, he most likely would not drink. But I am choosing not to go this route because my gut feeling tells me not to.
You said in one response that all you're looking for is honest opinions by posting here but then you work overtime to justify, argue, deflect & explain.
The truth is that you are trying to convince yourself that this situation is acceptable by willfully ignoring red flags. You don't need to convince US, we have nothing vested in this situation. You have every right to stand by him but his propensity toward violence is what scares us for YOU. I think you are sitting on a ticking bomb & you know it & your family has already moved themselves out of the line of collateral damage as much as they are able.
You know the funny thing about our gut instincts is that they get scrambled after significant exposure to dysfunction, they become affected & inaccurate when we work so hard to convince ourselves to accept unacceptable behavior. It took me a while in recovery to correct this imbalance inside myself; I had gone so far down the rabbit hole that my own gut instincts weren't dependable any longer.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
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Originally Posted by Justbreathe1980
Honestly, I think it would depend on the situation. If he drank 1 beer or something, I may be more forgiving. But if he went all out, I would be very upset.
So "not drinking" is not a real boundary either?
I could understand how the man might be getting confused by all of this.
It sounds like you may or may not be allowing things, extending mercy and forgiveness if he does in almost a god-like manner.
Do you get how convoluted and crazy your "organizing" his drinking is?
Please quit being so defensive about your statements / actions and look at them honestly.
We are just trying to help and mirror what we see to you, and remember our help is based on many years
of experience of being both drinker and codie and living with it--there is some collective wisdom which could help if you would let it.
I don't have a horse in this race--it is your life and your choice, but man you really are setting yourself up here.
I think FireSprite has really spelled it out clearly and well.
Please reread her post.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: mountain states, Montana and Wyoming
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I think the more you try to control your husband the more he is going to be angry. I would go on the cruise tell him you don't want him to drink, if he does drink that is his choice and if it gets out of hand then he and only he is responsible for it. What you don't want is to have him angry the whole time and to keep reminding you of him wanting to drink.
If he is sober except for a week a year on vacation, then I guess it is what it is. But he becomes a mean a@@hole when he drinks then, it pretty clear, he should not drink especially when you are on vacation.
Neat thing about a cruise is you don't have to be around him when he is belligerent. Go to the room, up on deck, go onshore without him. If dinner is a problem then eat before or after in the lido.
Speaking from the perspective of my wife, this is how she dealt with me when I insisted on drinking. She continued to have a great time, I was hungover in the room, but I did not have the sense at the time to back off the booze.
good luck to you and remember it is your vacation too.
If he is sober except for a week a year on vacation, then I guess it is what it is. But he becomes a mean a@@hole when he drinks then, it pretty clear, he should not drink especially when you are on vacation.
Neat thing about a cruise is you don't have to be around him when he is belligerent. Go to the room, up on deck, go onshore without him. If dinner is a problem then eat before or after in the lido.
Speaking from the perspective of my wife, this is how she dealt with me when I insisted on drinking. She continued to have a great time, I was hungover in the room, but I did not have the sense at the time to back off the booze.
good luck to you and remember it is your vacation too.
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Join Date: May 2010
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I will share an experience I had with a little deal like this. My mom, sister, and my girls went on a little trip summer before last. My X basically knew I did not want him to come, but finagled to come anyways. I was weak at that time and not strong enough to say no, this is a girls trip. I digress....
When we got there we did some things separately, some together. He is not a swimmer, so if the girls and I went swimming or down to the lake in the day he would not go, just hang out at the cabin, whatever. He asked me if he could have just a couple of drinks on this trip when we were gone for the day. I said OK just b/c I knew he would anyways and I felt as though if I agreed he would hopefully just have the one or two he promised. He did do that, I never actually saw him drunk and it was OK.
This did kick off his drinking when we returned home to a new level. So while it did not ruin the trip thank God, it was the catalyst to drinking in a way he had not been before. While he did drink some before, it became much more frequent and more after the trip.
I will say that on a cruise there will be security around if they were to be needed, which is a good thing. I think it's wise not to look for trouble at this point but to take it a day at a time and get through the holidays.
I am not trying to give you more anxiety by sharing my story, just sharing what happened in my case as I do think you should be mentally prepared....in March, not now.
XXX
When we got there we did some things separately, some together. He is not a swimmer, so if the girls and I went swimming or down to the lake in the day he would not go, just hang out at the cabin, whatever. He asked me if he could have just a couple of drinks on this trip when we were gone for the day. I said OK just b/c I knew he would anyways and I felt as though if I agreed he would hopefully just have the one or two he promised. He did do that, I never actually saw him drunk and it was OK.
This did kick off his drinking when we returned home to a new level. So while it did not ruin the trip thank God, it was the catalyst to drinking in a way he had not been before. While he did drink some before, it became much more frequent and more after the trip.
I will say that on a cruise there will be security around if they were to be needed, which is a good thing. I think it's wise not to look for trouble at this point but to take it a day at a time and get through the holidays.
I am not trying to give you more anxiety by sharing my story, just sharing what happened in my case as I do think you should be mentally prepared....in March, not now.
XXX
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One of the things I really like about Al-anon/ AA/ SR forum is that you can SEE the results. There is tangible evidence that certain methods work and certain methods don't. I love talking to the old timers because they are WISE. There is a difference between smart and wise. A lot of those people are very wise in this area.
Of course your A is different and unique. You are different and unique. But I notice that alcoholism is not unique. We seems to struggle with a lot of the same things across the board....just different situations.
I think my point is that you can talk yourself into believing anything, but there are a lot of valuable resources around you from WISE people who have been there, done that. Take advantage of that.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm glad you are taking it one day at a time.
Of course your A is different and unique. You are different and unique. But I notice that alcoholism is not unique. We seems to struggle with a lot of the same things across the board....just different situations.
I think my point is that you can talk yourself into believing anything, but there are a lot of valuable resources around you from WISE people who have been there, done that. Take advantage of that.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm glad you are taking it one day at a time.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
From my experiences, past and very recent, holidays and vacations are the most difficult for AH to navigate in a rational manner. He does his daily drinking and I've been able to sidestep that, but it's extremely difficult to have expectations met when the routine is broken for an activity that is inherently "fun." AH sees this as, "what's fun without alcohol?" And it always leaves me holding my breath. I have never been wrong in my fears that things will get out of hand on vacation, no matter what he promises about controlling his drinking.
We are trying to figure out Christmas plans with my 4 adult children, DDIL and DGS. Well, DS36 is opting out of Christmas with the family for the first time in 36 years. He wrote an email to his dad, copying the family, outlining all the holidays and vacations that were tainted or ruined by his father's drinking, using specific facts that are indisputable. It was actually a wonderful letter, confirming his love for the family and his dad, but saying in no uncertain terms that he has no desire to expose his son to such craziness.
This makes me proud of DS, but sad. And I only mention it because I want to emphasize that while your experience may be different, I think there are way too many triggers at holidays and vacations and cruise ships to expect that a newly sober person is going to act any differently than you might expect him to act when actively drinking.
He's not my AH, so forgive me for projecting my own experience, but I know I've been in your shoes, and the front part of my brain always naively believes what my AH says the day before vacation, but the back part always is whispering, "I don't think so" and thats the part that is always right.
We are trying to figure out Christmas plans with my 4 adult children, DDIL and DGS. Well, DS36 is opting out of Christmas with the family for the first time in 36 years. He wrote an email to his dad, copying the family, outlining all the holidays and vacations that were tainted or ruined by his father's drinking, using specific facts that are indisputable. It was actually a wonderful letter, confirming his love for the family and his dad, but saying in no uncertain terms that he has no desire to expose his son to such craziness.
This makes me proud of DS, but sad. And I only mention it because I want to emphasize that while your experience may be different, I think there are way too many triggers at holidays and vacations and cruise ships to expect that a newly sober person is going to act any differently than you might expect him to act when actively drinking.
He's not my AH, so forgive me for projecting my own experience, but I know I've been in your shoes, and the front part of my brain always naively believes what my AH says the day before vacation, but the back part always is whispering, "I don't think so" and thats the part that is always right.
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Just Breathe,
I am going to be a worrier here and suggest that since you have decided your husband can drink on the cruise that you educate yourself about maritime laws, the laws of the country the ship sails under and any countries you may visit. You say you can only afford five drinks a day onboard but what about ports of call? I imagine draft beers are cheap just like they are everywhere. If your husband gets into a bar fight, caught with pot, or a dv situation. Your legal troubles could be catastrophic
I am going to be a worrier here and suggest that since you have decided your husband can drink on the cruise that you educate yourself about maritime laws, the laws of the country the ship sails under and any countries you may visit. You say you can only afford five drinks a day onboard but what about ports of call? I imagine draft beers are cheap just like they are everywhere. If your husband gets into a bar fight, caught with pot, or a dv situation. Your legal troubles could be catastrophic
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so he's already planned out his next drunk. he's already said that on YOUR SHARED vacation he is going to the do the ONE thing you do not want him to do. the ONE THING. and in fact, he'll make sure you are miserable if he can't drink. so you are going to LET HIM. and see how it goes.
if you understand anything at all about the progression of alcoholism, you'd understand the concern many share here. it gets worse, even when you don't drink. that is why it gets harder and harder to come back after relapses...the disease progresses AS IF you had continued to drink the whole time.
he won't have just one or two and be fine.
YOU are playing with fire and you seem determined to stay right by the edge of the flames. which is totally your right. you think you've got a handle on things now....and he'll behave.
remember, once you are on that cruise, you really can't ask them to please take you home, or drop you off at the next port. YOU'RE STUCK for the duration.
if you understand anything at all about the progression of alcoholism, you'd understand the concern many share here. it gets worse, even when you don't drink. that is why it gets harder and harder to come back after relapses...the disease progresses AS IF you had continued to drink the whole time.
he won't have just one or two and be fine.
YOU are playing with fire and you seem determined to stay right by the edge of the flames. which is totally your right. you think you've got a handle on things now....and he'll behave.
remember, once you are on that cruise, you really can't ask them to please take you home, or drop you off at the next port. YOU'RE STUCK for the duration.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Will he be drinking 5 drinks per day or the monetary equivalent of 5 drinks per day? I remember the cruise we went on the bottles of rum bought ashore were a far better bang for our buck than buying drinks on board. Then we'd make our own drinks in the room and carry them around.
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Originally Posted by jarp
I'm not expert by a looonnnggg stretch of the imagination but I am doing a lot of work on boundaries with a psych at the moment.
The thing I am am finding it difficult to understand is around:
- "I have a boundary that I will not be in a relationship with an active alcoholic"
- he's planning to drink on the cruise
- so what's the definition of an 'active alcoholic' for you?
My psych differs a lot from many SR folk....she doesn't define relapse by a single drink not driven by alcoholic behaviour...so I get that there are shades of gray in this, and I'm working through what MY definitions are and what boundaries are associated with them.
One thing I will say....I know I am never going to put myself in any situation again where I am the person that is responsible for controlling my RAH's choice to drink, nor any choice that goes with that (I.e. if he drinks, it's not going to be me monitoring or limiting). You are putting yourself in the role of being responsible for the amount your AH drinks. This sounds very stressful to me....not at all relaxing, like a holiday should be.
The thing I am am finding it difficult to understand is around:
- "I have a boundary that I will not be in a relationship with an active alcoholic"
- he's planning to drink on the cruise
- so what's the definition of an 'active alcoholic' for you?
My psych differs a lot from many SR folk....she doesn't define relapse by a single drink not driven by alcoholic behaviour...so I get that there are shades of gray in this, and I'm working through what MY definitions are and what boundaries are associated with them.
One thing I will say....I know I am never going to put myself in any situation again where I am the person that is responsible for controlling my RAH's choice to drink, nor any choice that goes with that (I.e. if he drinks, it's not going to be me monitoring or limiting). You are putting yourself in the role of being responsible for the amount your AH drinks. This sounds very stressful to me....not at all relaxing, like a holiday should be.
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Originally Posted by jarp
You 'might' be forgiving of a single beer (I read that you don't know if you would be or not), but you are going to be forgiving of him drinking on the cruise...up to however many drinks you allow him the money for.
It sounds like a very confusing boundary to me.
It sounds like a very confusing boundary to me.
Like someone who is on a strict diet is allowed a week of splurging on their vacation. But he told me he does not want to splurge on alcohol in the cruise, that he will limit his intake. Does not matter anyways, as we don't have the budget for splurging.
For whatever reason (maybe because of past positive experiences on vacations), I have a boundary with alcohol while living at home, and I have another boundary when it comes to our annual vacation. If that second boundary does not work out, then I will alter it next year.
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Originally Posted by Carlotta
Ultimately, he will do what he wants to do. The one thing you can do is remain sober and take care of yourself. As long as you don't pick up the first drink, there is hope for you.
Congratulations on staying sober
Here is a link to an excellent post by Mike (RIP friend), it is good food for thoughts and a very good thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ght-drink.html
Ps: try to stay in the moment and not project and worry so much. A LOT of things can happen before March. No need to worry about things which have not even happened yet.
Congratulations on staying sober
Here is a link to an excellent post by Mike (RIP friend), it is good food for thoughts and a very good thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ght-drink.html
Ps: try to stay in the moment and not project and worry so much. A LOT of things can happen before March. No need to worry about things which have not even happened yet.
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Originally Posted by FireSprite
I think you're being very judicious with your use of the word "boundary" here - these are not boundaries by MY definition. You don't "allow" others to have boundaries, you don't put up a boundary today & negate it tomorrow because it's a holiday & then reinstate it.... this goes beyond the concept of bending your boundaries or restating them over time. What you all are doing is negotiating ultimatums, IMO.
You said in one response that all you're looking for is honest opinions by posting here but then you work overtime to justify, argue, deflect & explain.
The truth is that you are trying to convince yourself that this situation is acceptable by willfully ignoring red flags. You don't need to convince US, we have nothing vested in this situation. You have every right to stand by him but his propensity toward violence is what scares us for YOU. I think you are sitting on a ticking bomb & you know it & your family has already moved themselves out of the line of collateral damage as much as they are able.
You know the funny thing about our gut instincts is that they get scrambled after significant exposure to dysfunction, they become affected & inaccurate when we work so hard to convince ourselves to accept unacceptable behavior. It took me a while in recovery to correct this imbalance inside myself; I had gone so far down the rabbit hole that my own gut instincts weren't dependable any longer.
You said in one response that all you're looking for is honest opinions by posting here but then you work overtime to justify, argue, deflect & explain.
The truth is that you are trying to convince yourself that this situation is acceptable by willfully ignoring red flags. You don't need to convince US, we have nothing vested in this situation. You have every right to stand by him but his propensity toward violence is what scares us for YOU. I think you are sitting on a ticking bomb & you know it & your family has already moved themselves out of the line of collateral damage as much as they are able.
You know the funny thing about our gut instincts is that they get scrambled after significant exposure to dysfunction, they become affected & inaccurate when we work so hard to convince ourselves to accept unacceptable behavior. It took me a while in recovery to correct this imbalance inside myself; I had gone so far down the rabbit hole that my own gut instincts weren't dependable any longer.
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Originally Posted by FireSprite
I think you're being very judicious with your use of the word "boundary" here - these are not boundaries by MY definition. You don't "allow" others to have boundaries, you don't put up a boundary today & negate it tomorrow because it's a holiday & then reinstate it.... this goes beyond the concept of bending your boundaries or restating them over time. What you all are doing is negotiating ultimatums, IMO.
You said in one response that all you're looking for is honest opinions by posting here but then you work overtime to justify, argue, deflect & explain.
The truth is that you are trying to convince yourself that this situation is acceptable by willfully ignoring red flags. You don't need to convince US, we have nothing vested in this situation. You have every right to stand by him but his propensity toward violence is what scares us for YOU. I think you are sitting on a ticking bomb & you know it & your family has already moved themselves out of the line of collateral damage as much as they are able.
You know the funny thing about our gut instincts is that they get scrambled after significant exposure to dysfunction, they become affected & inaccurate when we work so hard to convince ourselves to accept unacceptable behavior. It took me a while in recovery to correct this imbalance inside myself; I had gone so far down the rabbit hole that my own gut instincts weren't dependable any longer.
You said in one response that all you're looking for is honest opinions by posting here but then you work overtime to justify, argue, deflect & explain.
The truth is that you are trying to convince yourself that this situation is acceptable by willfully ignoring red flags. You don't need to convince US, we have nothing vested in this situation. You have every right to stand by him but his propensity toward violence is what scares us for YOU. I think you are sitting on a ticking bomb & you know it & your family has already moved themselves out of the line of collateral damage as much as they are able.
You know the funny thing about our gut instincts is that they get scrambled after significant exposure to dysfunction, they become affected & inaccurate when we work so hard to convince ourselves to accept unacceptable behavior. It took me a while in recovery to correct this imbalance inside myself; I had gone so far down the rabbit hole that my own gut instincts weren't dependable any longer.
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
So "not drinking" is not a real boundary either?
I could understand how the man might be getting confused by all of this.
It sounds like you may or may not be allowing things, extending mercy and forgiveness if he does in almost a god-like manner.
Do you get how convoluted and crazy your "organizing" his drinking is?
Please quit being so defensive about your statements / actions and look at them honestly.
We are just trying to help and mirror what we see to you, and remember our help is based on many years
of experience of being both drinker and codie and living with it--there is some collective wisdom which could help if you would let it.
I don't have a horse in this race--it is your life and your choice, but man you really are setting yourself up here.
I think FireSprite has really spelled it out clearly and well.
Please reread her post.
I could understand how the man might be getting confused by all of this.
It sounds like you may or may not be allowing things, extending mercy and forgiveness if he does in almost a god-like manner.
Do you get how convoluted and crazy your "organizing" his drinking is?
Please quit being so defensive about your statements / actions and look at them honestly.
We are just trying to help and mirror what we see to you, and remember our help is based on many years
of experience of being both drinker and codie and living with it--there is some collective wisdom which could help if you would let it.
I don't have a horse in this race--it is your life and your choice, but man you really are setting yourself up here.
I think FireSprite has really spelled it out clearly and well.
Please reread her post.
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Originally Posted by herradura
I think the more you try to control your husband the more he is going to be angry. I would go on the cruise tell him you don't want him to drink, if he does drink that is his choice and if it gets out of hand then he and only he is responsible for it. What you don't want is to have him angry the whole time and to keep reminding you of him wanting to drink.
If he is sober except for a week a year on vacation, then I guess it is what it is. But he becomes a mean a@@hole when he drinks then, it pretty clear, he should not drink especially when you are on vacation.
Neat thing about a cruise is you don't have to be around him when he is belligerent. Go to the room, up on deck, go onshore without him. If dinner is a problem then eat before or after in the lido.
Speaking from the perspective of my wife, this is how she dealt with me when I insisted on drinking. She continued to have a great time, I was hungover in the room, but I did not have the sense at the time to back off the booze.
good luck to you and remember it is your vacation too.
If he is sober except for a week a year on vacation, then I guess it is what it is. But he becomes a mean a@@hole when he drinks then, it pretty clear, he should not drink especially when you are on vacation.
Neat thing about a cruise is you don't have to be around him when he is belligerent. Go to the room, up on deck, go onshore without him. If dinner is a problem then eat before or after in the lido.
Speaking from the perspective of my wife, this is how she dealt with me when I insisted on drinking. She continued to have a great time, I was hungover in the room, but I did not have the sense at the time to back off the booze.
good luck to you and remember it is your vacation too.
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
I will share an experience I had with a little deal like this. My mom, sister, and my girls went on a little trip summer before last. My X basically knew I did not want him to come, but finagled to come anyways. I was weak at that time and not strong enough to say no, this is a girls trip. I digress....
When we got there we did some things separately, some together. He is not a swimmer, so if the girls and I went swimming or down to the lake in the day he would not go, just hang out at the cabin, whatever. He asked me if he could have just a couple of drinks on this trip when we were gone for the day. I said OK just b/c I knew he would anyways and I felt as though if I agreed he would hopefully just have the one or two he promised. He did do that, I never actually saw him drunk and it was OK.
This did kick off his drinking when we returned home to a new level. So while it did not ruin the trip thank God, it was the catalyst to drinking in a way he had not been before. While he did drink some before, it became much more frequent and more after the trip.
I will say that on a cruise there will be security around if they were to be needed, which is a good thing. I think it's wise not to look for trouble at this point but to take it a day at a time and get through the holidays.
I am not trying to give you more anxiety by sharing my story, just sharing what happened in my case as I do think you should be mentally prepared....in March, not now.
XXX
When we got there we did some things separately, some together. He is not a swimmer, so if the girls and I went swimming or down to the lake in the day he would not go, just hang out at the cabin, whatever. He asked me if he could have just a couple of drinks on this trip when we were gone for the day. I said OK just b/c I knew he would anyways and I felt as though if I agreed he would hopefully just have the one or two he promised. He did do that, I never actually saw him drunk and it was OK.
This did kick off his drinking when we returned home to a new level. So while it did not ruin the trip thank God, it was the catalyst to drinking in a way he had not been before. While he did drink some before, it became much more frequent and more after the trip.
I will say that on a cruise there will be security around if they were to be needed, which is a good thing. I think it's wise not to look for trouble at this point but to take it a day at a time and get through the holidays.
I am not trying to give you more anxiety by sharing my story, just sharing what happened in my case as I do think you should be mentally prepared....in March, not now.
XXX
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Originally Posted by SoloMio
From my experiences, past and very recent, holidays and vacations are the most difficult for AH to navigate in a rational manner. He does his daily drinking and I've been able to sidestep that, but it's extremely difficult to have expectations met when the routine is broken for an activity that is inherently "fun." AH sees this as, "what's fun without alcohol?" And it always leaves me holding my breath. I have never been wrong in my fears that things will get out of hand on vacation, no matter what he promises about controlling his drinking.
We are trying to figure out Christmas plans with my 4 adult children, DDIL and DGS. Well, DS36 is opting out of Christmas with the family for the first time in 36 years. He wrote an email to his dad, copying the family, outlining all the holidays and vacations that were tainted or ruined by his father's drinking, using specific facts that are indisputable. It was actually a wonderful letter, confirming his love for the family and his dad, but saying in no uncertain terms that he has no desire to expose his son to such craziness.
This makes me proud of DS, but sad. And I only mention it because I want to emphasize that while your experience may be different, I think there are way too many triggers at holidays and vacations and cruise ships to expect that a newly sober person is going to act any differently than you might expect him to act when actively drinking.
He's not my AH, so forgive me for projecting my own experience, but I know I've been in your shoes, and the front part of my brain always naively believes what my AH says the day before vacation, but the back part always is whispering, "I don't think so" and thats the part that is always right.
We are trying to figure out Christmas plans with my 4 adult children, DDIL and DGS. Well, DS36 is opting out of Christmas with the family for the first time in 36 years. He wrote an email to his dad, copying the family, outlining all the holidays and vacations that were tainted or ruined by his father's drinking, using specific facts that are indisputable. It was actually a wonderful letter, confirming his love for the family and his dad, but saying in no uncertain terms that he has no desire to expose his son to such craziness.
This makes me proud of DS, but sad. And I only mention it because I want to emphasize that while your experience may be different, I think there are way too many triggers at holidays and vacations and cruise ships to expect that a newly sober person is going to act any differently than you might expect him to act when actively drinking.
He's not my AH, so forgive me for projecting my own experience, but I know I've been in your shoes, and the front part of my brain always naively believes what my AH says the day before vacation, but the back part always is whispering, "I don't think so" and thats the part that is always right.
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Originally Posted by happybeingme
Just Breathe,
I am going to be a worrier here and suggest that since you have decided your husband can drink on the cruise that you educate yourself about maritime laws, the laws of the country the ship sails under and any countries you may visit. You say you can only afford five drinks a day onboard but what about ports of call? I imagine draft beers are cheap just like they are everywhere. If your husband gets into a bar fight, caught with pot, or a dv situation. Your legal troubles could be catastrophic
I am going to be a worrier here and suggest that since you have decided your husband can drink on the cruise that you educate yourself about maritime laws, the laws of the country the ship sails under and any countries you may visit. You say you can only afford five drinks a day onboard but what about ports of call? I imagine draft beers are cheap just like they are everywhere. If your husband gets into a bar fight, caught with pot, or a dv situation. Your legal troubles could be catastrophic
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