Not sure what to do here, and how to proceed.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 9
The big thing is that RIGHT NOW, today there is no legal avenue for us to make it anything else that we'd even have a slim chance of winning. If/When he goes back into relapse then perhaps. But right now he's voluntarily going along with the suggestions of the therapist, even if he knows legally he doesn't have to. Right now legally we have no way of getting him into court, and if he tries to take us to court he'll likely win custody immediately.
What you have to understand is that the way the court system works for third parties at least is that there are two completely separate and different court systems. Our chapter 751(temporary custody) is not a dependency court issue. This court system that we are in, doesn't do things like case plans(i.e. you have to do random drug and alcohol tests, have a job, and housing, etc). Only the dependency court does that. There is no way to improve our legal rights with them in the present court we are in(i.e. we can't get guardianship or get a TPR). And there's no way to move the order to the dependency court unless there is imminent danger. So until he does something drastic, we have to stay in a holding pattern. The rules for dependency court are completely different than the non-dependency court.
I can't add links- look up "Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Custody Options". It does a pretty good job of explaining how it works.
Yes our hopes are that the romance of what this looks like- him having his "property" or kids, fades in the face of reality. Hopefully in the next six months he relapses again, or recants, or we can help the mother enough to where she will step up. Maybe he'll decide it's better to just be fun weekend dad, than taking on full-time responsibility for two young souls. It's hard to get a real job with multiple felonies. And when you have no real job, a poor job history, no drivers license or car, it's really hard to get ahead. It would have been much easier if the mother's parents had prosecuted for statutory rape(she was 15, he was 27). In the end though, if he pushes the issue, we have no legal legs to stand on. So I suppose it's not truly hopeless, it does feel that way at the moment however.
What you have to understand is that the way the court system works for third parties at least is that there are two completely separate and different court systems. Our chapter 751(temporary custody) is not a dependency court issue. This court system that we are in, doesn't do things like case plans(i.e. you have to do random drug and alcohol tests, have a job, and housing, etc). Only the dependency court does that. There is no way to improve our legal rights with them in the present court we are in(i.e. we can't get guardianship or get a TPR). And there's no way to move the order to the dependency court unless there is imminent danger. So until he does something drastic, we have to stay in a holding pattern. The rules for dependency court are completely different than the non-dependency court.
I can't add links- look up "Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Custody Options". It does a pretty good job of explaining how it works.
Yes our hopes are that the romance of what this looks like- him having his "property" or kids, fades in the face of reality. Hopefully in the next six months he relapses again, or recants, or we can help the mother enough to where she will step up. Maybe he'll decide it's better to just be fun weekend dad, than taking on full-time responsibility for two young souls. It's hard to get a real job with multiple felonies. And when you have no real job, a poor job history, no drivers license or car, it's really hard to get ahead. It would have been much easier if the mother's parents had prosecuted for statutory rape(she was 15, he was 27). In the end though, if he pushes the issue, we have no legal legs to stand on. So I suppose it's not truly hopeless, it does feel that way at the moment however.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
If you have not started journaling every single thing, with dates, times, save texts, etc. start doing so now. Get the statement from the mom now in writing in case she would run off or change her mind about doing so later. Get child psychology to state they are regressing under the stress.
You can only do these things to PREPARE b/c it sounds like you have done everything in your power that you can. There is one other thing, and I will do it too for all of you.
PRAY.
You can only do these things to PREPARE b/c it sounds like you have done everything in your power that you can. There is one other thing, and I will do it too for all of you.
PRAY.
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