I've hit another brick wall
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
I've hit another brick wall
So the tax department rung me today.
Seems the XH has enquired about his new custody arrangement & the fact he could be entitled to shared care.
So he will have 4 nights fortnight while I have 10, he has 5 weeks holiday care while I have 8.
That's hardly shared but that's how the law is changing.
I could stand to loose any financial help I currently get from government plus he may apply to claim money from me!
All of this on top of the thousands of dollars I am going to soon owe for the year & a half of court proceedings. And I was the respondent.
I can't believe this is happening to me.
I have given the kids & their more time together because I thought it was important to build that relationship.
He laughs in my face cause he doesn't have to pay any more & I get to suffer.
I'm not sure how much more stress I can take.
In tears.
Seems the XH has enquired about his new custody arrangement & the fact he could be entitled to shared care.
So he will have 4 nights fortnight while I have 10, he has 5 weeks holiday care while I have 8.
That's hardly shared but that's how the law is changing.
I could stand to loose any financial help I currently get from government plus he may apply to claim money from me!
All of this on top of the thousands of dollars I am going to soon owe for the year & a half of court proceedings. And I was the respondent.
I can't believe this is happening to me.
I have given the kids & their more time together because I thought it was important to build that relationship.
He laughs in my face cause he doesn't have to pay any more & I get to suffer.
I'm not sure how much more stress I can take.
In tears.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hold on, what does the tax department have to do with parenting time?
How does any of this happen without your having an opportunity to be heard on it? If you simply gave him a bit more time, then maybe it would affect how much he can claim on his taxes (don't know the law where you are) but it doesn't seem like it should permanently change anything.
How does any of this happen without your having an opportunity to be heard on it? If you simply gave him a bit more time, then maybe it would affect how much he can claim on his taxes (don't know the law where you are) but it doesn't seem like it should permanently change anything.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Everything in my country Lexie, far different from yours I imagine.
It appears the law is changing so that if you have care for 28% of the time or 103 nights per year, you get all sorts of rewards. Actually you can apply to the other parent to pay you!!
And the person that has the remainder of the time gets penalised left right & centre.
It appears the law is changing so that if you have care for 28% of the time or 103 nights per year, you get all sorts of rewards. Actually you can apply to the other parent to pay you!!
And the person that has the remainder of the time gets penalised left right & centre.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
OK, well, assuming it affects you negatively for this year (and you are talking about how the law WILL change, not what is in effect right now) how does that give him any more time NEXT year if you choose not to give him those extra days next year?
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Our final court hearing is over. The final parental order is being tweaked & then is final.
I gave him more time with the kids because I thought that was what they all wanted & would benefit.
From my perspective this whole exercise of him returning from overseas after abandoning his kids for 2 and a half years has done nothing but cost me thousands in court costs because I refused to bow down to his demands, has caused me a lot of stress in the process & the next financial year starting with April 2015 (not far away) will see new tax changes put in place that could see my income drop considerably because he has more time with them.
I have an order.
I have to stick to it.
I never thought about the financial future, only about building a relationship with their Dad.
I think I get the chance to put all my financials in to tax department to prove I pay for school, clothes, stationery, sports & everything else so am hoping they will help me.
There are no guarantees.
At the end of this I may either have to work more hours & pay more childcare (no gain there) or give up my job & go on a benefit that the government pays for because I'd be no better off.
Did I do something in my past life to have this stuff thrown at me constantly?
I gave him more time with the kids because I thought that was what they all wanted & would benefit.
From my perspective this whole exercise of him returning from overseas after abandoning his kids for 2 and a half years has done nothing but cost me thousands in court costs because I refused to bow down to his demands, has caused me a lot of stress in the process & the next financial year starting with April 2015 (not far away) will see new tax changes put in place that could see my income drop considerably because he has more time with them.
I have an order.
I have to stick to it.
I never thought about the financial future, only about building a relationship with their Dad.
I think I get the chance to put all my financials in to tax department to prove I pay for school, clothes, stationery, sports & everything else so am hoping they will help me.
There are no guarantees.
At the end of this I may either have to work more hours & pay more childcare (no gain there) or give up my job & go on a benefit that the government pays for because I'd be no better off.
Did I do something in my past life to have this stuff thrown at me constantly?
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
I am so sorry Rosie. It sounds to me like your ex totally manipulated this to his benefit. Would he have known about the change in the law and that was why he fought you to get this specific custody agreement?
Just because he can apply to get the payments from you, is it a given that you will have to pay?
Hopefully you will have a chance to show your side of this, that you are basically responsible for everything and he is just a weekend and holiday dad.
Big hugs. I know that this was a huge struggle for you. Sending you strength to keep fighting just a little longer. You can do it.
Just because he can apply to get the payments from you, is it a given that you will have to pay?
Hopefully you will have a chance to show your side of this, that you are basically responsible for everything and he is just a weekend and holiday dad.
Big hugs. I know that this was a huge struggle for you. Sending you strength to keep fighting just a little longer. You can do it.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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I am struggling to fight it. I'm exhausted.
Every year I think it's going to be a better year but it isn't.
I guess all I can do is put my faith in my higher power & hope for the best but in the back of my mind I will be on alert for the next struggle .
The court costs alone are going to be the next struggle followed by who knows what in April. I already have a caveat over my property due to legal fees.
I have never let the kids down. I've been the stable parent for them.
My youngest daughter won a diligence award last night, they are good kids.
Can I still be a great parent with all this stress & financial worry?
I feel very alone right now & very sad.
Every year I think it's going to be a better year but it isn't.
I guess all I can do is put my faith in my higher power & hope for the best but in the back of my mind I will be on alert for the next struggle .
The court costs alone are going to be the next struggle followed by who knows what in April. I already have a caveat over my property due to legal fees.
I have never let the kids down. I've been the stable parent for them.
My youngest daughter won a diligence award last night, they are good kids.
Can I still be a great parent with all this stress & financial worry?
I feel very alone right now & very sad.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Aw, I'm so sorry you feel that way, but you're really never alone here.
Things will settle down. And you know what? Maybe the kids DID benefit from having the time with him. Don't be so hard on yourself.
You don't know what the future may hold. Good things will come your way eventually.
Many hugs,
Things will settle down. And you know what? Maybe the kids DID benefit from having the time with him. Don't be so hard on yourself.
You don't know what the future may hold. Good things will come your way eventually.
Many hugs,
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