The Language of Letting Go, Dec. 8
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The Language of Letting Go, Dec. 8
DECEMBER 8
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Valuing Our Needs
When we don't ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves. We deserve better.
Maybe others taught us it wasn't polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don't, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We may end up feeling angry or resentful, or we may begin to punish someone else for not guessing what we need. We may end the relationship because it doesn't meet our needs.
Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this.
Sometimes, we may even have to demand what we want. That's called setting a boundary. We do this not to control another person, but to gain control of our life.
Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and importance on our needs we'll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will begin to get met.
Today, I will respect the wants and needs of others and myself. I will tell others, my Higher Power, and myself what I want and need. I will listen to what they want and need too.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
__________________
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Valuing Our Needs
When we don't ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves. We deserve better.
Maybe others taught us it wasn't polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don't, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We may end up feeling angry or resentful, or we may begin to punish someone else for not guessing what we need. We may end the relationship because it doesn't meet our needs.
Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this.
Sometimes, we may even have to demand what we want. That's called setting a boundary. We do this not to control another person, but to gain control of our life.
Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and importance on our needs we'll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will begin to get met.
Today, I will respect the wants and needs of others and myself. I will tell others, my Higher Power, and myself what I want and need. I will listen to what they want and need too.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
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Katchie, maybe you're a bit like me and don't/didn't think you really deserved to speak up? Or my sister who always feels guilty about feeling upset or angry, like she has no right too? (Lots of codependants, BPD, addicts, abusers and emotionally stuck people in my family). 
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Originally Posted by shil2587 
Katchie, maybe you're a bit like me and don't/didn't think you really deserved to speak up? Or my sister who always feels guilty about feeling upset or angry, like she has no right to? (Lots of codependants, BPD, addicts, abusers and emotionally stuck people in my family).
And if you haven't even felt your own emotions and needs, how on earth could you ever express them?
I am there with all of you.
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