Just joined and need to talk
Soft Kitty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Missouri
Posts: 1
Just joined and need to talk
I don't know exactly how this site works, but I desperately need someone to talk to about my 24 year old bi-polar & alcoholic son. Is anyone out there that can give advice and not judge? Please?
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Hey Welcome.
Just pretty much a Bunch of Friends and Family of folks with problems like your son's.
So we pretty much try to help each other through that.
Is your son in AA, or treatment, or any such thing?
Many of us find that other groups like Alanon, Celebrate Recovery, etc., help US, too.
Just pretty much a Bunch of Friends and Family of folks with problems like your son's.
So we pretty much try to help each other through that.
Is your son in AA, or treatment, or any such thing?
Many of us find that other groups like Alanon, Celebrate Recovery, etc., help US, too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: My mind wanders a lot, but I try to stay in the present.
Posts: 1,007
Hi HelpMe,
Welcome to SR. This is a great forum for support. I'm really glad you found us. I assume you've poked around a bit and read some of the threads. If not, that would probably be a good way to familiarize yourself with the site. But, basically it's pretty simple. Someone posts an issue, and others offer support. Sometimes a bit of advice, but mostly support.
What's going on with your son? Would you like to share more details?
Welcome to SR. This is a great forum for support. I'm really glad you found us. I assume you've poked around a bit and read some of the threads. If not, that would probably be a good way to familiarize yourself with the site. But, basically it's pretty simple. Someone posts an issue, and others offer support. Sometimes a bit of advice, but mostly support.
What's going on with your son? Would you like to share more details?
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi there, and welcome! Glad you found us. I'd echo what the others said, whenever you're ready to talk, we're here to listen.
Just a suggestion, for the sake of anonymity you might want to not use an actual photo for your avatar. I'm sure you wouldn't want your son's privacy compromised.
Just a suggestion, for the sake of anonymity you might want to not use an actual photo for your avatar. I'm sure you wouldn't want your son's privacy compromised.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Hi & welcome --
I have a kid who's got both bipolar disorder and an eating disorder, and a couple of other diagnoses (no addiction issues, though). There are several people here with addicted children, and also some with experience of the comorbidity BPD & addiction.
And you'll get straight shooting but mostly, no judgment here. All of us have dealt with friends or family with addiction issues, and so we know how complex it is and how it twists your heart and mind around. (((hugs)))
I have a kid who's got both bipolar disorder and an eating disorder, and a couple of other diagnoses (no addiction issues, though). There are several people here with addicted children, and also some with experience of the comorbidity BPD & addiction.
And you'll get straight shooting but mostly, no judgment here. All of us have dealt with friends or family with addiction issues, and so we know how complex it is and how it twists your heart and mind around. (((hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: milwaukee, wi
Posts: 48
Hi Helpme,, we are somewhat limited about the advice thing...especially medical... If he is sposed to be taking meds for bi-polar, he needs to be taking them as prescribed. even if they are not working, the Dr's need to know this to make proper changes... they can't tell anything if he is not taking them... Dr's are just like ev one else in that, they lose ambition to help someone who is not even trying to help themselves.
on the alcohol thing,,, he has to be the one to make the decision on what to do, for himself... it just won't work any other way,,, you . we, Dr's, AA, can offer help and encouragement. but, if he won't accept it and participate, it won't work...
Depressing, yes, hopeless, no... people who use and abuse drugs and/or alcohol, usually have to reach "rock bottom" before any change is accepted. "rock bottom" is defined by the abuser... it could be a bad stock deal for one, or sleeping in the streets for another.
if he won't listen to anyone then he has to define failure for himself.
You on the other hand need to protect yourself from his failure, physically, emotionally, and financially...
do not, for any reason, allow him to harm you any more than he has. move him out, have him arrested, have him put lawfully into treatment, whatever.
protect yourself... my candles weren't even done smoldering on my 18th birthday cake, i was kicked out of the house... been on my own ever since. A lot of drug use and bad decisions? yes... am i finally sober now, 47 years later, YES ! i don't wish him any ill will,,, but you need to prepare for it... don't dwell on it,,, it is only one possibility...Look for a group he relate to,, the peers in a group with similar experiences just may help him the most...
I truly wish the best for you both... Being here on this site, and in the "chat" room have helped me so much i can't measure it or compare it to anything for you... i'm off pot for 25 years, off cocaine for 20 years, and finally off alcohol 1 month... best off luck and stay in touch. we here, feel your pain and want to be for you for any success, no matter how small.
on the alcohol thing,,, he has to be the one to make the decision on what to do, for himself... it just won't work any other way,,, you . we, Dr's, AA, can offer help and encouragement. but, if he won't accept it and participate, it won't work...
Depressing, yes, hopeless, no... people who use and abuse drugs and/or alcohol, usually have to reach "rock bottom" before any change is accepted. "rock bottom" is defined by the abuser... it could be a bad stock deal for one, or sleeping in the streets for another.
if he won't listen to anyone then he has to define failure for himself.
You on the other hand need to protect yourself from his failure, physically, emotionally, and financially...
do not, for any reason, allow him to harm you any more than he has. move him out, have him arrested, have him put lawfully into treatment, whatever.
protect yourself... my candles weren't even done smoldering on my 18th birthday cake, i was kicked out of the house... been on my own ever since. A lot of drug use and bad decisions? yes... am i finally sober now, 47 years later, YES ! i don't wish him any ill will,,, but you need to prepare for it... don't dwell on it,,, it is only one possibility...Look for a group he relate to,, the peers in a group with similar experiences just may help him the most...
I truly wish the best for you both... Being here on this site, and in the "chat" room have helped me so much i can't measure it or compare it to anything for you... i'm off pot for 25 years, off cocaine for 20 years, and finally off alcohol 1 month... best off luck and stay in touch. we here, feel your pain and want to be for you for any success, no matter how small.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by eric1212 
Hi Helpme,, we are somewhat limited about the advice thing...especially medical... If he is sposed to be taking meds for bi-polar, he needs to be taking them as prescribed. even if they are not working, the Dr's need to know this to make proper changes... they can't tell anything if he is not taking them... Dr's are just like ev one else in that, they lose ambition to help someone who is not even trying to help themselves.
on the alcohol thing,,, he has to be the one to make the decision on what to do, for himself... it just won't work any other way,,, you . we, Dr's, AA, can offer help and encouragement. but, if he won't accept it and participate, it won't work...
Depressing, yes, hopeless, no... people who use and abuse drugs and/or alcohol, usually have to reach "rock bottom" before any change is accepted. "rock bottom" is defined by the abuser... it could be a bad stock deal for one, or sleeping in the streets for another.
if he won't listen to anyone then he has to define failure for himself.
You on the other hand need to protect yourself from his failure, physically, emotionally, and financially...
do not, for any reason, allow him to harm you any more than he has. move him out, have him arrested, have him put lawfully into treatment, whatever.
protect yourself... my candles weren't even done smoldering on my 18th birthday cake, i was kicked out of the house... been on my own ever since. A lot of drug use and bad decisions? yes... am i finally sober now, 47 years later, YES ! i don't wish him any ill will,,, but you need to prepare for it... don't dwell on it,,, it is only one possibility...Look for a group he relate to,, the peers in a group with similar experiences just may help him the most...
I truly wish the best for you both... Being here on this site, and in the "chat" room have helped me so much i can't measure it or compare it to anything for you... i'm off pot for 25 years, off cocaine for 20 years, and finally off alcohol 1 month... best off luck and stay in touch. we here, feel your pain and want to be for you for any success, no matter how small.
on the alcohol thing,,, he has to be the one to make the decision on what to do, for himself... it just won't work any other way,,, you . we, Dr's, AA, can offer help and encouragement. but, if he won't accept it and participate, it won't work...
Depressing, yes, hopeless, no... people who use and abuse drugs and/or alcohol, usually have to reach "rock bottom" before any change is accepted. "rock bottom" is defined by the abuser... it could be a bad stock deal for one, or sleeping in the streets for another.
if he won't listen to anyone then he has to define failure for himself.
You on the other hand need to protect yourself from his failure, physically, emotionally, and financially...
do not, for any reason, allow him to harm you any more than he has. move him out, have him arrested, have him put lawfully into treatment, whatever.
protect yourself... my candles weren't even done smoldering on my 18th birthday cake, i was kicked out of the house... been on my own ever since. A lot of drug use and bad decisions? yes... am i finally sober now, 47 years later, YES ! i don't wish him any ill will,,, but you need to prepare for it... don't dwell on it,,, it is only one possibility...Look for a group he relate to,, the peers in a group with similar experiences just may help him the most...
I truly wish the best for you both... Being here on this site, and in the "chat" room have helped me so much i can't measure it or compare it to anything for you... i'm off pot for 25 years, off cocaine for 20 years, and finally off alcohol 1 month... best off luck and stay in touch. we here, feel your pain and want to be for you for any success, no matter how small.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
You will find a lot of love, compassion, and wisdom from experience in this safe place; I know I have and don't know where I'd be without this forum. I hope you find that here too...welcome and hugs!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
