HerLastNerve

Dear SR Community,

Thank you so much for your support during this tough time in my life, even when my first time posting was to ask for support.

I'm taking this time to update, with some musing along the way. I took a long walk with my four-legged friend tonight, one of the last there will be. Between the holidays, the tourists, and so many other people needing help, I am in the corner; the 11th hour is not likely to get here. I'm looking to give up my baby for good. The suffering she is going through is too cruel for her, and I love her too much to continue to put her through it anymore. There's more help available for surrendering her directly to a loving home, than fostering her temporarily (I don't understand it, either). She shouldn't have to keep paying for my mistakes. She's a Lab, a larger dog, and people with disposable income (as is Palm Springs) got the idea from T.V. that larger than lap is too low class, so it will be much more likely that she will be living in a larger city, which is more compassion-based by comparison. Whatever happens to me, she will be loved and safe.

I'm reminded of the phrase (to paraphrase): "Some come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime". I was hoping she would be my lifetime, but it is painfully clear that she is season/reason for my life. I'm not sure how many more times I will be crying, and I won't even try to speculate. I'm going between numb, determined, angry, sad, and accepting. As for the job front, who knows what the last job told the temp agency about me, so it's whatever if anyone else will try to hire me. Cold comfort is that I just go approved for public healthcare, so I'll be able to at least get meds for my Bi-Polar. Tough to want to go on. I have an appointment with a DV center tomorrow morning, which I'll drag myself to to get my mind off of what I have to do. How is it that real life is so much less supportive than online?

I'm still hoping that SOMEWHERE there is an 11th hour answer that will allow she and I to be reunited again in the near future. Sounds stupid, but it's hard to stop.

Thank you to all and any who took the time to read this.

Seren

I'm so sorry to read this! I know it must be such a sad time and hope that perhaps something will work out. How is the job and the search for housing?

dandylion

HerLastNerve....I am moved to tears for you after reading this post. I am glad that she will have a good home part...but, I feel for your heart.
I must confess I still don't understand how all the details fit together. Bit, I guess that the dog must be considered first.....
There is always a chance that, God willing, you two can see each other again.
I took a dog that a family was taking to the pound because they were in a place where they couldn't keep her (I still have her). I told the family that they could have her back if they decided so in the future. Otherwise, they could visit any time that they wanted to.
They did come by and visit a few times. (The family had moved in with the mother's family home with their 2 kids--but the grandmother would n ot allow the dog (claimed allergies). The parents worked all day and the kids had organized activities after school so that the dog would be alone from morning till night every day, anyway. The family decided that I could give her a better permanent place to live--other dog and a big fenced yard to run in.

Please let us know how things go for you. We do care.

sincerely,
dandylion

CodeJob

My first dog knew the moment I woke up. His soul was the first one assessing me each morning from his dog bed - not my H. He helped me realize how lonely I was at times due to the isolation and drinking of my H. His presence and that morning straight gaze made my life 100x less lonely.

Hugs to you.

Refiner

I'm so sorry. My dogs are my very best friends. That must hurt a lot. God bless.

hopeful4

I am so sorry for you pain. God Bless

FlippedRHalo

This is breaking my heart....if you want to try to keep her, I have a lot of rescue contacts that I will reach out to, to see if there is some type of help available for you if you'd like.

HerLastNerve

Thank you, Seren. I needed to take a few hours away from everything to process what's going on right now. I met with a DV service to get a counselor today. The temp agency called me immediately after I was fired from the other job, and got me another temp one with long hours. On the surface it sounds nice, but still doesn't allow me to keep her because of the hours (12 hours starting at 7:20AM; it will be really interesting to see who needs to buy a car at THAT hour). I too am still hoping that something will work out. Thank you for the good thoughts (((hug)))

Thank you, dandylion. I do feel that everyone cares here. The family whose dog you fostered were extremely lucky to have found you. It would have been wonderful to have that kind of resource here. (((hug)))

Animals are amazing, aren't they CodeJob? I'm going to really miss my baby. Thank you for the hug. (((hug)))

FeelingGreat

Sorry you have to do this; I really admire your selflessness and courage. I'm sure there will be better times ahead.

HerLastNerve

Thank you, Refiner. It does hurt a great deal.

Thank you , hopeful4.

FlippedRHalo, if you are are able to find our 11th hour hero through your network, I would appreciate it extremely. I've been trying the ones in the Riverside/Coachella Valley, and working my way outward. As someone off the cuff, I'm not getting much traction on my own. Let me know if you need to ask about her temperament for better placement. Her trainer says that she will vouch that (my dog) is doing very well with obedience and earning towards her Good Canine Citizen certificate. Thank you!

HerLastNerve

Thank you, FeelingGreat. I hope so, too.

Eauchiche

SO sorry! I sure miss my animals...

FlippedRHalo

I will certainly do everything I can to help you - I would be traumatized even more if I had to give my fur kids up on top of everything else.

The more info you can share with me about her, the better - they'll want to know age, if she's spayed, temperament with other dogs/cats/kids and anything else you think is important for a potential foster home to know. The more info, the better so that we can try to find her the most appropriate situation. I wish I lived closer - I have 3 dogs already (all rescues), but I'd temporarily foster her for you if it helped you get on your feet. I will try my absolute hardest. Feel free to pm me if you're not comfortable sharing the info on the forum. Hugs to you and your girl. Fingers crossed!

HerLastNerve

Sent you a PM. Your 3 babies have a wonderful guardian. Thank you.

dandylion

FlippedRHalo....I want to thank you, also, for your efforts to help....

I would take the dog for fostering if there was some way to get her to Northern Virginia..just outside of D.C....I don't know a living soul in California!

dandylion

dandylion

HerLastNerve....please check your Private messages....I have left you an important one!!!!!!!!!

dandylion