So, where do we start?
 

So you wanna leave like I do? Let's start with small steps, baby steps, and lots of brainstorming. Take a piece of paper and write. Who is your support? Where can you go? How fast can you leave? What do you bring? Can you handle it financially? What do you need to do once you move? Change the address? Driver's license?

So many questions, so little time, and the desire to leave has never been stronger. You just want it happen overnight.

First you try to talk to your alcoholic . . . you tell yourself that this is the last time you will do the "talk." What does he do? Quack. Complains about the food. Quack. The house. Quack. The dog. Quack. And then Obama. Quack. And how did Obama get into our divorce talk, I have no idea. And then how my bonsai tree died because I did not water it. And how I do not feed our pet birds.

I told him just a few minutes ago that we will be splitting. Reaction? Or he really does not care, or he is very good at pretending that it is absolutely none of his concern. But this reaction of his should encourage me, not inhibit me. This is a move of a desperate man, sick man. Abusive man. And he should be happy that such a slob such as me is leaving. Right?

Enough about him.

Apartment prices are acceptable, and there is a shelter available. In the next few days, I'll be able to finish (god willing) a couple of new projects and earn more money. Direct deposit account number is going to be changed for my income. I'll get in touch with attorneys. Our health insurance policies will be separate (he was threatening how he was not going to apply this year, so I said, ok, fine. You are on your own buddy).

Now I have to write a list of things I want to take with me. And all the important documents.

Sending you tons and tons of strength. Thank you for the inspiration!

He may seem blasé now, but that can change in a heartbeat. And there's no more need to justify your decision to him, OK? He is NEVER going to understand your point of view, or agree with your decision or see it your way. NEVER.
Please take care and stay safe.

healthyagain....you are doing fabulously well with this. You are taking your inventory, making practical plans; circling the wagons as you prepare for the journey....LOL!

He will probably go through lots of "changes" during the coming weeks...but, as ladyscribbler says....don't let this sway you from your goal (freedom).

You can do this...and, you will....

dandylion

Way to go! This is how I'm handling things now too; one baby step at a time. Don't be surprised if blasé turns into a full on war at some point in the future. Right now, he thinks you're just blowing smoke and using scare tactics. I've seen this happen in divorces even when there is no abuse or addiction; the spouse who thought, "Oh she(he)"ll never follow through with it" winds up shocked when it comes down to the actual even and they lash out and make things more difficult.

Hugs to you, you are doing great!!!

Thank you! And I'll keep coming back here. You all inspire me. My greatest enemy at the moment is my impatience. Once you do not feel the "obligation" to report your decisions and announce your actions, you are going to follow through.