Redheadsusie

but grateful at the same time if that makes sense. I am angry that AH chose alcohol over me after 15 years - he chose it years ago - I just fought it for a long time. I am left in our house which is fine with me my choice - but I get angry when I try to do something and I can't - today it is start the damn riding lawn mower. I blew up the tire- charged the battery and the bitch wont start- I don't want to call him- he used to get pissed at me asking for help when he lived here - I am not going to call him now. I came here to vent instead of calling him and being pissed. I can do this- I have neighbors- if it does not start- I can borrow one- I am grateful I have a chance at a peaceful life- without alcohol ruling- one day at a time- I confess I did kick the lawn mower - ugghhhhh- DAMNIT! This too shall pass!

LexieCat

WTG, Susie! What are you using the lawnmower for, this time of year?

heartbrokenK

I know anger as. Close friend here lately lol. It's ok eventually you'll figure it out and get the lawn mowed

WMJ1012

When people choose a drug over us it's not personal. It feels it but it's not.
Welcome to the world of singlehood. We are capable.

It is better to be alone than with the wrong person.

aasharon90

What I like about being here and being
in recovery is that I never have to go
thru anything, figure out anything alone
or all by myself.

My anxiety will kick in as I rush and cant
wait to ask for help. To ask for what I need.
Including the lawnmower like you did.

It doesn't matter how small or how large
the task or problem is, if I have questions
about it or struggling to fix it, or don't know
how to do this or that, whether it be about
home, work, objects, relationships, birds,
flowers, cars, etc. Ill rush to pull my resources
out and ask for help.

I realized and learned that many folks
have either done that or gone thru that,
experienced it or knows someone who
has, and can point me in the right direction
or where to seek help.

Im glad you came here so that you don't
have to be alone. Stay Strong.

Redheadsusie

You guys are awesome ! I am getting up leaves with my big rider mower - I finally got it started - felt like a boss - as my sons would say! Hahah~ I am capable- I am strong - I am better off- repeat repeat repeat and thanks for your responses- makes me feel not so alone - and I apologized to the mower for kicking it. :-)

freetosmile

My thoughts exactly!

Jenibean87

The learning curve is something I never mastered during my separation. And Codie me would use it as an excuse to call the A over and beg to work the things out. Good for you for recognizing that, even though your mad and struggling, life is better without him. And, yeah, I can imagine how good it felt to work it out for yourself. Way to go!!!

LexieCat

I'm glad you made your amends to the lawnmower.

I know, one of my FAVORITE things about living alone is feeling like I can handle the crises that come up around the house (and I've had WAYYYY more than my share of them!). I've learned that some things I can fix by myself (YAY for YouTube videos that show you how to rewire a switch!), some I can ask a neighbor for help with (when something just requires a little more brute strength than I have), and others I need to call in a pro to help me with. I've accumulated a pretty good list of experts to help with electrical, plumbing, and appliance issues. Angie's List is a great resource, too, if you can afford a subscription.

I'm so, SO proud of you for getting that puppy going all by yourself! You ROCK!!