Kboys

First of all, I feel your hurt!! I am still with my AH, despite knowing that the best thing would have been to end the relationship a long time ago. He is not drinking now, but was abusive, and cheated while he was drinking, and I don't think I can get over the devastation that it has caused me. I know what it's like to KNOW that it would be best to "let him go" but not be ready to do it. But it's good you are here. This forum has helped me a lot. I think we will be ready when we are ready. So I know that doesn't help, but just know that you are not alone.

Secondly,
"he sees them but cant stop drinking when he has them"

Is there a reason why you feel like you have to allow him to have the kids?

I have two small children too. I know my AH would never intentionally harm the children, but when he is drinking, I really don't know.....

There were times in the past that I allowed my children to be with AH, when I had to go to work and no one else was available, and when I thought it would be "okay" becuase he was only drinking "a little" that day, or at least that 's what I thought back then.

Looking back, I really don't know what I was thinking, and have a lot of regret over it.
I will never allow that again. If something would have happened, I would have never forgiven myself.

weezer77

I stood my ground and kept my kids with me for the holiday. He flat out said the younger two would be in the way of his ability to go and do with his older two. Bottom line, he cant drink and be as irresponsible with them around. I doubt there will be much quality time going on....and if there is, i think that would be great. Im taking care of myself one day at a time and I am looking forward to my time with my girls. Question: he txt msgs me to tell me things like how he was on his way to go get his kids...and then asked when our hearing date would be. Is this his way to try to control, manipulate, stay in touch with me? Is this typical? I ignored him for two days...then that. Any advice? I plan on continuing to ignore him unless we have to communicate.

ladyscribbler

You have no obligation to tell him when a hearing is. He should have that info. The why is really not important.
Unless there is some necessary communication about the kids, I would ignore his stuff. Not your problem.

gleefan

((Weezer)) - I'm in recovery for alcoholism and married to an active alcoholic. One of the things we "loved" about each other when we were both actively drinking is that neither of us put any restrictions on each other's drinking. I now realize that was just our addictions speaking.

Flavia2

Weezer, just wanted to tell you my thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong and get that child support!

weezer77

The hardest part is dealing with all this blame he has put on me while he is just living this "happy"life.

Chillly

Yay Weezer!!!!!
Sad state of affairs, but I'm so happy when I read this post. You are a Super Studly lady!!
I am so happy that you are removing yourself from this situation!!
You GO!! Abusive relationships freakin suck! They just suck!
This is not going to be easy for you right now.
But I Guarantee you (I know it's nearly impossible for you to believe this right now) I Guarantee you that in the future, you will be soooo much happier!!!! Please realize that you are not the only one who has gone through an abusive relationship. As I was not either. Please trust me, you are a total bad a$$!!