He's now ended it and I am devastated
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 138
He's now ended it and I am devastated
I haven't posted in a while as I have been trying to deal with the ups and downs of him being drunk and sober from a distance- we haven't actually seen each other in over 2 months because of his behaviour and in those two months he has alternated between drunk and sober love and hate.
He decided that he would go to rehab a few days ago to try and get real help and this will be 3 months long and we have spoken about what we will do together and how we move forward from it all.
He has only been sober and speaking normally for the past few days and last night over message he ended it saying this wasn't like a real relationship over message, it's not that he needs the headspace because of rehab and he can deal with all that it's just it's not real not seeing each other and only communicating by phone. He said he loves me more than anything and hopes I would read it and change my mindset but he knows I won't so sorry but it's over. That's the short version basically.
I feel absolutely devastated. Stood by him through months and months of drinking, emotional and physical abuse and now after him being sober for a few days he expects that I suddenly change my mindset. Am I wrong in thinking that is wrong? I know that if it was going to work I would have to move forward but the simple fact of the matter is I expect after everything for him to show me clear signs of change- am I thinking about it wrong?
I love this man and yes I have questioned whether or not I should end it after all that has happened but I had hoped with him willing to go to rehab we could move forward, now he just basically tells me it's done.
I am devastated. I have spent the time we've not been together in constant turmoil and have started to try and have a 'normal' life and do 'normal' things in amongst it all and now I feel like I am back to square one wanting to shut myself away from the world.
It's like he's kept me hanging on for the months we've not been together and now has finally just decided it's done.
I know people will say good move on you are better off without him, and to an extent I have thought this but it doesn't stop the fact I love this man, I wanted a future with him despite everything and now it's like he's willing to go to rehab and sort his life out but just wants to end it.
I'm just devastated. The pain is so much.
He decided that he would go to rehab a few days ago to try and get real help and this will be 3 months long and we have spoken about what we will do together and how we move forward from it all.
He has only been sober and speaking normally for the past few days and last night over message he ended it saying this wasn't like a real relationship over message, it's not that he needs the headspace because of rehab and he can deal with all that it's just it's not real not seeing each other and only communicating by phone. He said he loves me more than anything and hopes I would read it and change my mindset but he knows I won't so sorry but it's over. That's the short version basically.
I feel absolutely devastated. Stood by him through months and months of drinking, emotional and physical abuse and now after him being sober for a few days he expects that I suddenly change my mindset. Am I wrong in thinking that is wrong? I know that if it was going to work I would have to move forward but the simple fact of the matter is I expect after everything for him to show me clear signs of change- am I thinking about it wrong?
I love this man and yes I have questioned whether or not I should end it after all that has happened but I had hoped with him willing to go to rehab we could move forward, now he just basically tells me it's done.
I am devastated. I have spent the time we've not been together in constant turmoil and have started to try and have a 'normal' life and do 'normal' things in amongst it all and now I feel like I am back to square one wanting to shut myself away from the world.
It's like he's kept me hanging on for the months we've not been together and now has finally just decided it's done.
I know people will say good move on you are better off without him, and to an extent I have thought this but it doesn't stop the fact I love this man, I wanted a future with him despite everything and now it's like he's willing to go to rehab and sort his life out but just wants to end it.
I'm just devastated. The pain is so much.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
I know nothing I say with make this all better, I am truly sorry for your pain. Our alcoholism is very hard on all of those around us.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and wishing I could give you a big hug. I am so very very sorry.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and wishing I could give you a big hug. I am so very very sorry.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 138
Does it also say something about me that for months I have wanted him sober and feared for his life but now I feel bitter that he will go into rehab, sort his life out and I won't be part of the good side of it when I have been fully part of the bad side? He will be sober, and have the life I wanted with him with someone else. They will only see this great side of him not what I have seen.
I'm not saying I want him to stay a mess forever- I don't, I realise that is no way to live but as well as painful sadness I also feel huge bitterness and anger.
I'm not saying I want him to stay a mess forever- I don't, I realise that is no way to live but as well as painful sadness I also feel huge bitterness and anger.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
You know what you are feeling is normal and it is okay to feel that way. It doesn't say anything bad about you all. You are human and you love this person. It is normal to think about how it can be once we sober up. What we put people thru is not for the faint of heart that is for sure. Keep posting here, you will get so much support thru the others here and they will help you thru this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Denver
Posts: 244
Originally Posted by Jane11 
He will be sober, and have the life I wanted with him with someone else. They will only see this great side of him not what I have seen.
Here, you are not talking about the man, but the Idea of the man. Sobriety and addiction aside; I guarantee you that your idea of what he will be, will never become reality.
Not saying he'll never get sober. As he MIGHT get sober.
Sorry to offend anyone else who's reading this and working toward lasting sobriety but....
Jane11... Do yourself a favor and look up statistics on addict relapse rates.. even after rehab. Sorry people but it's a reality..
umm.. hope I didn't break any rules there or make anyone falter in their resolve.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 101
I am so sorry for the pain that you’re feeling. It truly sucks to love an addict. I know what I’m going to say won’t lessen the pain that you’re feeling but maybe I can provide a bit of perspective. All I can say is that when an alcoholic chooses sobriety, out of necessity they must become selfish to a certain extent. All of their energy must be directed towards their rehab and their relationships suffer because of this. Addicts really don’t have the ability to have healthy relationships as long as they’re active in their addiction, and he is trying to be really honest about this.
I hope that while he’s working on his issues you can take some time to take care of yourself. Right now you need to love yourself and trust that that things will work out for the best. Sending you hugs from the “Last Frontier”.
I hope that while he’s working on his issues you can take some time to take care of yourself. Right now you need to love yourself and trust that that things will work out for the best. Sending you hugs from the “Last Frontier”.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 138
Thanks for your responses.
I do understand that if he has chosen rehab it will take a lot of time and energy and he has to be selfish to do it but I am also so sad and angry that I have spent so much time and energy on him and his addiction and been through hell and now he's just so quick to say it's over.
I don't even think the way it's said is that he needs to focus on himself and realises that I need to focus on myself too- that might make it a tiny bit more bearable. It's just basically to me like I've been strung along on this roller coaster for months and now there could be progress forward he's choosing to end it all- it makes me question whether he ever actually loved me like I loved him or it was just using me and now he wants to get well he doesn't need me any more in his life.
He's spent the past few days telling me that we will make it work, he can't have a life without me so he's going to rehab for that and other reasons and now it's just goodbye unless I change my ways and instantly see him and call him all the time even though I've seen no actual change apart from a few days of communicating with him when he's been sober.
Why say he loves me and we will work this out and then just end it. I've told him that maybe we both need to focus on ourselves, I'm aware that being in recovery and having a relationship is extremely difficult and he will be told this and he said no he doesn't care if he is and he has been told that by others but he's not ending it unless I do and that's what he tells people ending it isn't an option. Then he ends it. Now he's completely unresponsive to me. I just can't get my head around it.
It's so painful, mentally and physically. I saw light at the end of the tunnel and it's like he has cruelly snatched it away. Always completely conflicting things he says.
My head is just a mess all over again.
I do understand that if he has chosen rehab it will take a lot of time and energy and he has to be selfish to do it but I am also so sad and angry that I have spent so much time and energy on him and his addiction and been through hell and now he's just so quick to say it's over.
I don't even think the way it's said is that he needs to focus on himself and realises that I need to focus on myself too- that might make it a tiny bit more bearable. It's just basically to me like I've been strung along on this roller coaster for months and now there could be progress forward he's choosing to end it all- it makes me question whether he ever actually loved me like I loved him or it was just using me and now he wants to get well he doesn't need me any more in his life.
He's spent the past few days telling me that we will make it work, he can't have a life without me so he's going to rehab for that and other reasons and now it's just goodbye unless I change my ways and instantly see him and call him all the time even though I've seen no actual change apart from a few days of communicating with him when he's been sober.
Why say he loves me and we will work this out and then just end it. I've told him that maybe we both need to focus on ourselves, I'm aware that being in recovery and having a relationship is extremely difficult and he will be told this and he said no he doesn't care if he is and he has been told that by others but he's not ending it unless I do and that's what he tells people ending it isn't an option. Then he ends it. Now he's completely unresponsive to me. I just can't get my head around it.
It's so painful, mentally and physically. I saw light at the end of the tunnel and it's like he has cruelly snatched it away. Always completely conflicting things he says.
My head is just a mess all over again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 101
Right now I’m pretty certain that the situation he finds himself in is pretty terrifying. Many addicts are terrified at the thought of rehab because they worry they will fail and their situation will become hopeless. It’s an emotional time for both of you and right now no one can predict what the future will bring. Just know that you deserve a loving relationship that provides you the spiritual and emotional support that you need. My thoughts are with you tonight.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 258
Sweet talk - no action, disappearing acts and silent treatment – it’s baffling and it hurts.
You can chose to give him more of your precious time and try to figure out why he did what he did – odds are good you’ll never know for sure.
What were your hopes and dreams for a future together? Maybe it makes sense to write them down, as they might give you an insight into what you long for in life – in general.
When you miss your flight to Paris, do you break down in tears believing that you will never go there, or will you shrug it off and book yourself on another flight?
He might be gone, but don’t let him take your dreams with him.
You can chose to give him more of your precious time and try to figure out why he did what he did – odds are good you’ll never know for sure.
What were your hopes and dreams for a future together? Maybe it makes sense to write them down, as they might give you an insight into what you long for in life – in general.
When you miss your flight to Paris, do you break down in tears believing that you will never go there, or will you shrug it off and book yourself on another flight?
He might be gone, but don’t let him take your dreams with him.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say he has no intention of staying sober at all. He went in saying it was to get you back imho and he misses the bottle and now wants his cake and eat it too. As we say around here... More will be revealed.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
As a former alcoholic myself, my guess is that he intends to keep drinking
and is testing to see if you will accept it.
He has shown no signs from what you've said of genuine and lasting change
as sobriety would require to succeed.
As Refiner says, more will be revealed.
I'm sorry you are hurting, but it doesn't sound like
this person is capable of a healthy, loving relationship at this time.
and is testing to see if you will accept it.
He has shown no signs from what you've said of genuine and lasting change
as sobriety would require to succeed.
As Refiner says, more will be revealed.
I'm sorry you are hurting, but it doesn't sound like
this person is capable of a healthy, loving relationship at this time.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm sorry for your pain, that is real.
As for the rest, trying to read his mind right now and figure out what the future holds is a great big waste of time. Drunk or sober, at this point he has NO IDEA, himself, what he is thinking and feeling.
I've been sober six years. For the first several months that I was sober I was like a deer in the headlights, with emotions and thoughts bouncing around in my head, and no clue what reality was. So this message is just more noise from the disease.
I'm not saying you should hold out hope that he will get it together and come back to you. That COULD happen, but at this point it's at least as likely that he will make a token effort at recovery and go back to drinking for years and years. You have no crystal ball, and nobody else does, either.
For the past two months you've effectively been broken up. My suggestion is that you just leave it alone for now and concentrate on getting yourself together. Find an Al-Anon group and start working on separating your own future and happiness from someone else's ups and downs.
Hugs,
As for the rest, trying to read his mind right now and figure out what the future holds is a great big waste of time. Drunk or sober, at this point he has NO IDEA, himself, what he is thinking and feeling.
I've been sober six years. For the first several months that I was sober I was like a deer in the headlights, with emotions and thoughts bouncing around in my head, and no clue what reality was. So this message is just more noise from the disease.
I'm not saying you should hold out hope that he will get it together and come back to you. That COULD happen, but at this point it's at least as likely that he will make a token effort at recovery and go back to drinking for years and years. You have no crystal ball, and nobody else does, either.
For the past two months you've effectively been broken up. My suggestion is that you just leave it alone for now and concentrate on getting yourself together. Find an Al-Anon group and start working on separating your own future and happiness from someone else's ups and downs.
Hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 138
I really wish that I could just follow the logical advice and leave it alone and LexieCat you are so right my future ans happiness is and has been based on his ups and downs. When things have been better and we have been communicating better I am a happier person and I can seem to get on with life a little better but as soon as something like this happens I just spiral back into a black hole and it's not only myself that is affected but everyone around me, ,my family who have been so deeply hurt by it all and I carry the guilt of that too.
I just don't see how I can move on, I want to but I can't get thoughts of him out of my head and wonder if I ever will. Will I always think has he just carried on drinking and the man I love is dead or did he go to rehab and now he has he life that we were supposed to have with someone else. It's like a double edged sword- I want him to get better because I love him but if he does I don't want it to be with someone else.
The day has gone by with him contacting me on and off, saying he doesn't want it over but I have to change my approach and me coming back with how my approach is because of how he has behaved- it's stalemate as always. He feels like I can't see his perspective, I feel like he can't see mine. He's now told me that he's going off wifi and therefore I won't be able to contact him. The thing is I know that I am an absolute mug but if he then decides to contact me again I will respond!!!! He can drop me and pick me up as and when he pleases yet I am the one who drives him insane and has him on a thread so he says??
I want to move on but I just don't know how. I feel like this relationship has crushed me entirely and honestly I do wish that we had never met so that I would never have experienced this pain and constantly spend my time now and in the future thinking of him.
I'm a logical person, I used to be so bright and sociable, people had me as the type of person who didn't take any crap from people and yet I am stuck in this situation where somebody treats me like this.
I know I will spend the whole of Xmas and ny thinking about him- is he drinking, is he alone and in depression like he told me he was last Xmas or has he just moved on to someone else. It's like my whole being is consumed with this and I can't stand the agony of it all.
I want him to get in contact with me and when my phone goes I look instantly to see if it is him, but at the same time I know it's better if he doesn't contact me. I sound like the ramblings of a crazy woman but I am so messed up in my mind right now.
Getting over any break up is hard enough but at least I know that with anyone else it wouldn't be a case if me thinking were they drinking themselves to death somewhere. And I don't feel like people I know understand. They have said "you've held it together so well over the past fee weeks" and I have to an extent but now he's saying it's final and it's over it's like a wound has been opened back up. I should be grateful but I just don't see how I move on with my life right now.
I'm so sorry for just rambling I just need to let it out I feel as if I might explode, I don't want to cry in front of anyone or speak about it I just wish I could disappear and be alone but what good would that be.
I just don't see how I can move on, I want to but I can't get thoughts of him out of my head and wonder if I ever will. Will I always think has he just carried on drinking and the man I love is dead or did he go to rehab and now he has he life that we were supposed to have with someone else. It's like a double edged sword- I want him to get better because I love him but if he does I don't want it to be with someone else.
The day has gone by with him contacting me on and off, saying he doesn't want it over but I have to change my approach and me coming back with how my approach is because of how he has behaved- it's stalemate as always. He feels like I can't see his perspective, I feel like he can't see mine. He's now told me that he's going off wifi and therefore I won't be able to contact him. The thing is I know that I am an absolute mug but if he then decides to contact me again I will respond!!!! He can drop me and pick me up as and when he pleases yet I am the one who drives him insane and has him on a thread so he says??
I want to move on but I just don't know how. I feel like this relationship has crushed me entirely and honestly I do wish that we had never met so that I would never have experienced this pain and constantly spend my time now and in the future thinking of him.
I'm a logical person, I used to be so bright and sociable, people had me as the type of person who didn't take any crap from people and yet I am stuck in this situation where somebody treats me like this.
I know I will spend the whole of Xmas and ny thinking about him- is he drinking, is he alone and in depression like he told me he was last Xmas or has he just moved on to someone else. It's like my whole being is consumed with this and I can't stand the agony of it all.
I want him to get in contact with me and when my phone goes I look instantly to see if it is him, but at the same time I know it's better if he doesn't contact me. I sound like the ramblings of a crazy woman but I am so messed up in my mind right now.
Getting over any break up is hard enough but at least I know that with anyone else it wouldn't be a case if me thinking were they drinking themselves to death somewhere. And I don't feel like people I know understand. They have said "you've held it together so well over the past fee weeks" and I have to an extent but now he's saying it's final and it's over it's like a wound has been opened back up. I should be grateful but I just don't see how I move on with my life right now.
I'm so sorry for just rambling I just need to let it out I feel as if I might explode, I don't want to cry in front of anyone or speak about it I just wish I could disappear and be alone but what good would that be.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 138
I have this memory in my mind that quite literally stops me dead in my tracks wherever I am and whatever I am doing and just makes me want to vomit- me and him watching a programme where someone's partner died of a terminal illness. I looked up at him and he was crying quietly. He told me that he didn't know what he would do I without me he couldn't imagine a life. Was that all fake? How do I forget that kind of memory? Why can't I remember the bad things and let them stop me dead in my tracks?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 154
My mom told me something once after my A broke it off with me. She didn't mention the "you're better off" line of thinking, what she said was, "it's very hard to get rid of an alcholic. Just wait."
And she was so, so right. I know you're heart hurts now, and I know you feel offended that HE would break up with YOU, and I know you've been hearing a lot of "good riddance" comments, but the truth as I experienced it was that this sort of thing would happen, and then a week or so later, my phone would be ringing. I'm not really saying this to give you hope that things will get better; I'm saying this because even though it feels crushing, there is likely very little finality to his choice. It's a common pattern of the A to try to manipulate a situation.
Breathe. And try to see that you are being manipulated into begging for him back, erasing boundaries, and making life easier for a man who doesn't want to do the leg work of recovery.
Pia Mellody wrote an excellent book on love addiction that I think you will find a lot of help from if you choose to spend some time thinking about WHY you are so consumed by this relationship, despite the obvious sickness. It really helped me to identify my behaviors and get some rational thoughts flowing in my head.
And she was so, so right. I know you're heart hurts now, and I know you feel offended that HE would break up with YOU, and I know you've been hearing a lot of "good riddance" comments, but the truth as I experienced it was that this sort of thing would happen, and then a week or so later, my phone would be ringing. I'm not really saying this to give you hope that things will get better; I'm saying this because even though it feels crushing, there is likely very little finality to his choice. It's a common pattern of the A to try to manipulate a situation.
Breathe. And try to see that you are being manipulated into begging for him back, erasing boundaries, and making life easier for a man who doesn't want to do the leg work of recovery.
Pia Mellody wrote an excellent book on love addiction that I think you will find a lot of help from if you choose to spend some time thinking about WHY you are so consumed by this relationship, despite the obvious sickness. It really helped me to identify my behaviors and get some rational thoughts flowing in my head.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
We ALL felt we could never get over it. Yet--read some of the threads here--many of us have.
You don't have to wait for him to do something to end it. You don't have to do ANYTHING as far as he is concerned.
Find an Al-Anon group. If you want to stop obsessing and feeling the way you are right now, do something about it, the way you would like for him to do something about his drinking. You are every bit as addicted to him right now as he is to booze--and just as self-destructively.
You don't have to wait for him to do something to end it. You don't have to do ANYTHING as far as he is concerned.
Find an Al-Anon group. If you want to stop obsessing and feeling the way you are right now, do something about it, the way you would like for him to do something about his drinking. You are every bit as addicted to him right now as he is to booze--and just as self-destructively.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 80
I wonder if you would have felt better if YOU had made the choice to end it. You may have felt more secure in your decision and more empowered.
This just happened in my case. I loved him (and his family) but I had to break it off. I also am struggling with some guilt, but I felt myself putting up walls with him, wouldn't give my 100% heart because I couldn't see things getting better. The longer I hoped it would improve, the more blinded I became within my situation. I would tell myself that I am blowing it out of proportion; that I should stop trying to analyze the situation and BE happy...but my gut was nagging me, saying, "don't love too much, pull away, this is progressive". My counselor said that not only does his drinking hurt me, but by staying in the relationship, it harms him because I'm enabling him.
So, I thought it was best for both of us for me to end it. I read so many stories on here about how our loved one can turn on us and I was sort of angry that I've wasted my time with someone that might turn on me, if I insult his buddy --alcohol.
He was mad at me. It was so hard for me, but I had experienced mood changes (like he was jeklly and hyde) and his last mood change was it! I was tiered of feeling nervous everytime I received a text, not knowing which person he'd be.
I decided that he needed a woman to make him feel like he was okay. As long as he's in a relationship, he can keep drinking, saying "I'm working on it" until the next lady realizes that she wasted time with someone that had no intention to fix the problem. meanwhile, she has to stress (like I did) about his declining health, extreme moods, bad behavior and alcohol made him crude and disrespectful. Then his sweet side came out and I'd let it go. After so many cycles, I realized I'm trapped a situation that is stuck, not healthy and going nowhere.
I've learned that this disease makes them very cleaver, manipulative and can make you so confused. At times he was the sweetest, most thoughtful, loving man I've known and I wished that he was always this way; sober and stable.
If the cycle is broken and my ex gets help, then maybe I'll consider starting fresh and find out who he is when healthy OR he may continue the cycle, but I have to release myself from the outcome.
Don't let this emotional stress get you sick. My girlfriend was just diagnosed with cancer from emotional stress. Meditate, listen to music that makes you feel good, pet a baby animal, shop, pamper yourself. He should fix himself (not manipulate you). You have to set the ground rules for how people treat you. Make a list of what you WILL NOT accept.
Hope my experience is helpful to you
This just happened in my case. I loved him (and his family) but I had to break it off. I also am struggling with some guilt, but I felt myself putting up walls with him, wouldn't give my 100% heart because I couldn't see things getting better. The longer I hoped it would improve, the more blinded I became within my situation. I would tell myself that I am blowing it out of proportion; that I should stop trying to analyze the situation and BE happy...but my gut was nagging me, saying, "don't love too much, pull away, this is progressive". My counselor said that not only does his drinking hurt me, but by staying in the relationship, it harms him because I'm enabling him.
So, I thought it was best for both of us for me to end it. I read so many stories on here about how our loved one can turn on us and I was sort of angry that I've wasted my time with someone that might turn on me, if I insult his buddy --alcohol.
He was mad at me. It was so hard for me, but I had experienced mood changes (like he was jeklly and hyde) and his last mood change was it! I was tiered of feeling nervous everytime I received a text, not knowing which person he'd be.
I decided that he needed a woman to make him feel like he was okay. As long as he's in a relationship, he can keep drinking, saying "I'm working on it" until the next lady realizes that she wasted time with someone that had no intention to fix the problem. meanwhile, she has to stress (like I did) about his declining health, extreme moods, bad behavior and alcohol made him crude and disrespectful. Then his sweet side came out and I'd let it go. After so many cycles, I realized I'm trapped a situation that is stuck, not healthy and going nowhere.
I've learned that this disease makes them very cleaver, manipulative and can make you so confused. At times he was the sweetest, most thoughtful, loving man I've known and I wished that he was always this way; sober and stable.
If the cycle is broken and my ex gets help, then maybe I'll consider starting fresh and find out who he is when healthy OR he may continue the cycle, but I have to release myself from the outcome.
Don't let this emotional stress get you sick. My girlfriend was just diagnosed with cancer from emotional stress. Meditate, listen to music that makes you feel good, pet a baby animal, shop, pamper yourself. He should fix himself (not manipulate you). You have to set the ground rules for how people treat you. Make a list of what you WILL NOT accept.
Hope my experience is helpful to you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
He’s nowhere near sober, a few days of not consuming doesn’t make him sober by any means. He’s very much operating with an alcohol soaked brain.
Words and more words of manipulation is what I hear him saying. He’s gonna, he’s going – well why not wait and see if he actually does what he says he’s going to regarding rehab before you believe anything.
It sounds like he knows you can’t or don’t want to live without him in your life so he’s throwing the kitchen sink at you hoping you’ll cave.
He didn’t keep you hanging on for months – you kept yourself hanging on.
Now’s the time to work on you, work on why you would tolerate such poor emotional and physical treatment from anyone.
Ending are hard but believe it or not we do live through them and if we do some work on ourselves, we come out of the storm to a much better place where we meet nicer people.
Words and more words of manipulation is what I hear him saying. He’s gonna, he’s going – well why not wait and see if he actually does what he says he’s going to regarding rehab before you believe anything.
It sounds like he knows you can’t or don’t want to live without him in your life so he’s throwing the kitchen sink at you hoping you’ll cave.
He didn’t keep you hanging on for months – you kept yourself hanging on.
Now’s the time to work on you, work on why you would tolerate such poor emotional and physical treatment from anyone.
Ending are hard but believe it or not we do live through them and if we do some work on ourselves, we come out of the storm to a much better place where we meet nicer people.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by Jane11
last night over message he ended it saying this wasn't like a real relationship over message, it's not that he needs the headspace because of rehab and he can deal with all that it's just it's not real not seeing each other and only communicating by phone. He said he loves me more than anything and hopes I would read it and change my mindset but he knows I won't so sorry but it's over.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
