Feeling sad and a little out of control
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 93
Feeling sad and a little out of control
I haven't been on here for a while and the fact that I am here again tells me I need some perspective. I separated from my husband 6 months ago and moved into my own place 3 months ago. While I am better off and I don't miss him at all, I am feeling a little bit out of control myself lately.
I have been totally stressed over money and even a little lonely so my evenings are tough for me especially when I don't have my girls or after they go to bed. I find myself binge eating and drinking more than I like. I always enjoyed having a drink or two in the evenings a few nights a week but lately between that and my eating, I am feeling like a hypocrite. I even took today off because I am just plain mad at myself for last night. I have been doing good and last night I just couldn't seem to stop eating till I finally went to bed. I just need to get a handle on this and myself. I'm sure some of it is mild depression and this will pass. I just need to look it straight in the face and deal.
I have been totally stressed over money and even a little lonely so my evenings are tough for me especially when I don't have my girls or after they go to bed. I find myself binge eating and drinking more than I like. I always enjoyed having a drink or two in the evenings a few nights a week but lately between that and my eating, I am feeling like a hypocrite. I even took today off because I am just plain mad at myself for last night. I have been doing good and last night I just couldn't seem to stop eating till I finally went to bed. I just need to get a handle on this and myself. I'm sure some of it is mild depression and this will pass. I just need to look it straight in the face and deal.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
You've been through a lot of changes. Even when they are good, healthy changes, they throw us off, and it takes some time--maybe a LOT of time--to adjust.
I'd suggest you step AWAY from the alcohol, though. It was after I left my second alcoholic husband that my own drinking really took off, and I wound up in the rooms of AA (six years sober now). No need to beat yourself up, but maybe get rid of the booze in the house now--remove it as a coping mechanism altogether, and find other ways of getting through.
Hugs, you'll come through this.
I'd suggest you step AWAY from the alcohol, though. It was after I left my second alcoholic husband that my own drinking really took off, and I wound up in the rooms of AA (six years sober now). No need to beat yourself up, but maybe get rid of the booze in the house now--remove it as a coping mechanism altogether, and find other ways of getting through.
Hugs, you'll come through this.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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asm505-
What kind of support do you have for YOU asm505? I agree with Lexie, this stuff can take time (even when it is good change).
I got a lot of support talking about this stuff but it was hard work for me to get started with it. I see what you did today as a huge step.
Talking about my stuff (for me especially food) multiplied my support and cut my sorrow. I had to be careful though who I chose to talk about it with. I had not choosen very supportive people that understood in the past.
What kind of support do you have for YOU asm505? I agree with Lexie, this stuff can take time (even when it is good change).
I got a lot of support talking about this stuff but it was hard work for me to get started with it. I see what you did today as a huge step.
Talking about my stuff (for me especially food) multiplied my support and cut my sorrow. I had to be careful though who I chose to talk about it with. I had not choosen very supportive people that understood in the past.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 93
Thanks! I just had a very long convo with my mom. I think half my problem is that I am to hard on myself and when I do slip up, I beat myself up for it. I am human. I will make mistakes. I will learn from my mistakes and try to do better tomorrow.
Instead of sitting around and continue to cry today, I am going to go upstairs, put my workout clothes on and get on the treadmill and make the most of the rest of my day.
I don't think I realized how depressed and stressed I have been feeling lately. My tears just keep coming today.
Instead of sitting around and continue to cry today, I am going to go upstairs, put my workout clothes on and get on the treadmill and make the most of the rest of my day.
I don't think I realized how depressed and stressed I have been feeling lately. My tears just keep coming today.
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Remember that alcohol is a depressant, so drinking when you're already feeling low is like pouring gasoline on a fire.
Being hard on yourself is pretty typical of codies. I know I used to think (subconsciously, without being aware of it) that if I was perfect, the universe would respond by giving me happiness.
It doesn't work that way. We're human, which means we're imperfect by design. Allow yourself to be sad, to cry. Then brush yourself off and just do your best. And I try to remind myself and my kids that "your best" -- that's your best today. Which might be just be getting through the day some days. And that, my friend, is OK.
Being hard on yourself is pretty typical of codies. I know I used to think (subconsciously, without being aware of it) that if I was perfect, the universe would respond by giving me happiness.
It doesn't work that way. We're human, which means we're imperfect by design. Allow yourself to be sad, to cry. Then brush yourself off and just do your best. And I try to remind myself and my kids that "your best" -- that's your best today. Which might be just be getting through the day some days. And that, my friend, is OK.
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