Bi-Polar, BPD & Recovery Principles
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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Bi-Polar, BPD & Recovery Principles
I’m wondering about how to apply Al-anon and other recovery principles for F&F to living with someone with a mental illness such as bi-polar or BPD.
Having seen loved ones going from doctor to doctor without diagnosis, suffering through psychosis and med side effects, riding the waves of mania, hiding under their bed in the grip of anxiety and depression, and being sent home by ERs, I experienced the sidewalk of my side of the street becoming blurred at times.
Between destruction and abuse as symptoms of the illness, a crippled public mental healthcare system, and the personal hell you watch a loved one suffering through – how can you be there for them without becoming a collateral damage?
Having seen loved ones going from doctor to doctor without diagnosis, suffering through psychosis and med side effects, riding the waves of mania, hiding under their bed in the grip of anxiety and depression, and being sent home by ERs, I experienced the sidewalk of my side of the street becoming blurred at times.
Between destruction and abuse as symptoms of the illness, a crippled public mental healthcare system, and the personal hell you watch a loved one suffering through – how can you be there for them without becoming a collateral damage?
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
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I think its the same principals.
My RAH is bi-polar but was undiagnosed, or rather misdiagnosed (as clinically depressed) when we moved in together. It was a year and a half of complete and total hell and I would rather deal with an A.
Once properly diagnosed and treated life is good. Yes, there are bad Pdocs, there are bad doctors in every kind of medical field. In my experience illness is illness is illness. The sick person has to be willing to get treatment and keep seeking it until they find the right fit. The same goes for mental illness. Its not like they don't know something is wrong, they do. There is much frustration with not finding the correct med combo - again that can be applied to a myriad of illnesses. Endless testing and trying things is applicable to many issues.
Just like recovery when one makes the decision to get help and to stick with the program results are seen.
If my RAH ever went off his meds we would not be together. He is diligent about taking them, but also about doing what else he needs to to support "normalcy" - such as a routine, getting plenty of sleep, exercising, eating right etc. It all goes together. If he is feeling mania creep in (which is more often than depression) he calls his doctor immediately.
My mother is also mentally ill she has paranoid personality disorder. At its height back in the 90's her delusions were so awful she was convinced someone was trying to kill her. RAH has never been like that. So my father tried and tried and tried to get her help. Tried for a year or more. She refused which is part of mental illness to think there is nothing wrong with you - something wrong with everyone else. Finally he laid a boundary down which was "not living like this. You are sick. You won't get help. you have one week to get help. If you don't I am moving out a filing for divorce" Guess who got help? She did. Amazing huh that a person who thought everything was being "bugged", that someone was poisoning her food etc was able to pick up the phone and call a Pdoc and get treatment after all.
I am sure others have other experience this is just mine. Sorry for what you are going through it sucks dealing with mental illness.
My RAH is bi-polar but was undiagnosed, or rather misdiagnosed (as clinically depressed) when we moved in together. It was a year and a half of complete and total hell and I would rather deal with an A.
Once properly diagnosed and treated life is good. Yes, there are bad Pdocs, there are bad doctors in every kind of medical field. In my experience illness is illness is illness. The sick person has to be willing to get treatment and keep seeking it until they find the right fit. The same goes for mental illness. Its not like they don't know something is wrong, they do. There is much frustration with not finding the correct med combo - again that can be applied to a myriad of illnesses. Endless testing and trying things is applicable to many issues.
Just like recovery when one makes the decision to get help and to stick with the program results are seen.
If my RAH ever went off his meds we would not be together. He is diligent about taking them, but also about doing what else he needs to to support "normalcy" - such as a routine, getting plenty of sleep, exercising, eating right etc. It all goes together. If he is feeling mania creep in (which is more often than depression) he calls his doctor immediately.
My mother is also mentally ill she has paranoid personality disorder. At its height back in the 90's her delusions were so awful she was convinced someone was trying to kill her. RAH has never been like that. So my father tried and tried and tried to get her help. Tried for a year or more. She refused which is part of mental illness to think there is nothing wrong with you - something wrong with everyone else. Finally he laid a boundary down which was "not living like this. You are sick. You won't get help. you have one week to get help. If you don't I am moving out a filing for divorce" Guess who got help? She did. Amazing huh that a person who thought everything was being "bugged", that someone was poisoning her food etc was able to pick up the phone and call a Pdoc and get treatment after all.
I am sure others have other experience this is just mine. Sorry for what you are going through it sucks dealing with mental illness.
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