wolflvr

Hi everyone. Well, last night sucked just as bad as the past 3. I pickued up my husband from work, we came home, he showered and said he had to go talk to the neighbor really quick(mind you the neighbors drink A LOT everyday) Along with telling me this was the promise that he wasnt bringing any money to go buy a drink at the store across the street and he wasnt going to drink. What did he do...bought a drink and was gone not for 5 minutes like he said, but 1 1/2 hours. Then he has the nerve to come home at 9:20 and ask me why I didnt make him dinner. Was he drunk? No. Had he had a drink..yes. That is enough for me. He apologized for being gone so long but I told him that wasnt the point, the point is he lied and he drank. I tried to explain to him that any amount of alcohol with affect his health(he has had panceratitis 2 times in the last 3 1/2 months, has liver problems from hep C and drinking) I worry about him and I know I should be worrying about me. This morning he said he left me a letter and for me to read it when I get home. He also said he knows he cannot drink...not even a beer. The thing is I have heard this all before. I didnt make dinner last night because he wasnt home and I wasnt about to make it for him so when he decided to come home it would be there..forget that Im not working in a restaurant here. So of course I didnt eat didnt sleep well, and look like I inflated my eyes with a tire pump this morning before work. I want to believe the things he says but I find it impossible to anymore. As he said on Wednesday "Ill show you through my actions rather my words that I will not do stupid stuff like drinking etc" Well that lasted a whole 16 hours or whatever it was. I read Magics post yesterday about recitiing the serenity prayer in my head which I did and I also had a long talk with God last night but I still feel an empty space. I want and dream of having a child and the day is coming up when Im supposed to start taking my fertility meds and I feel like maybe that dream is shattered now too. He says he wants a family etc. but maybe Im living in fantasy land here..who knows. I just needed to vent this morning so I know Im rambling on..sorry. Oh yea. one last thing. Last weekend he got me a cell phone that is a camera phone. Well Tuesday night when he passed out on the couch at 7:45 I took pictures of him so he could see just how attractive he looks when he is like that and what I get to see. He didnt like that too much, I actually think it bothered h im but I kinda got a laugh out of it. Mean huh? Anyways, I hope you all have a great day and Im so glad I found this sight. Finally I dont feel like I am the only one dealing with this.

Karivan

Hi. I posted the message above yours from Karivan. Sounds like we're in the same boat. I feel for you. It's a hard thing to handle and I want to be happy again. I think it's going to come down to being happy without him. Just a thought: kids is not going to help your relationship. It will make it worse. As great as kids are; they put stress in a relationship and they should never be raised by a alcoholic. The cell phone thing was funny. I wish I had a camera cell phone.

gabigoo

Sorry you are dealing with so much! Just remember that he needs to be accountable for his own actions! I did get a laugh about the cell phone. One night I figured out that my iPAQ (handheld) has a recorder and I taped my AH SNORING from too much to drink- and like your situation he was not happy! But oh well- I got a good laugh out of it!!

Gracey

I have always told my AH that I would love to tape record him when he got himself so upset and like to blame me or anyone........for while he is feeling that way.......when he rants and raves for nothing or about nothing........I just bought a digital camera with a five minute video that records voices.......hmmmmmmmmmmmm