LovingMom

Would a loving mother do this? I am feeling just about as low as low can get. No, probably not on the same level as some of you...I am not married to him..he is not my boyfriend...He is my son. And I had him arrested. He has stolen from me..at home, at work and even while I was in the hospital. But I came home from work and my garage door looked funny..I soon discovered why. He had (according to neighbors) pushed in the bottom portion of the door and slid underneath, then pushed it back. Once inside he took his time busting open the connecting door from the garage to the kitchen. He basically cleaned me out. TV's, VCR's, DVD players...movies and music...he even took my books right off the shelves. I am pretty sure that there is more that he has done....but for the life of me I don't want to know. I walked in to my home and before I even got to the front room, I knew that someone had been in my house..and I knew in the pit of my stomach that it was SonnyBoy. I have not seen him or spoken to him in weeks...nice, quiet weeks..and then BOOM...he is back in my life and has been in my home..raided it..invaded it. He even took my old computer...Thank heavens he didnt know about my switching over to a laptop that I bring with me everywhere...he wont get far with the fried one.
I just am so sad. My own kid. The neighbors didn't get involved...nothing that Sonny does surprises them anymore...
When the police came, heads started peeking out of doorways and they started coming over..The across the street man told how he had sat and watched Sonny roll under the bottom panel, but had not seen him come back out. The beside me neighbor stated that she had seen a pickup in the alleyway and sure enough, when I looked at the lock on my back gate..it was popped. So now we know how he got in...how he loaded my stuff up and how he got away with it.
I did file the report. Everything in me screamed not to..that this is my kid...my sweet little boy...my addict. And with that I signed my name and told them the last known place for him.
I got a call about an hour ago that he had been picked up. He is going to start the calling at home...the calling at work..begging forgiveness...begging bail (which I dont have cause I bought a boatload of tulip bulbs)..
And I won't give in...Please Heavenly Father and Guiding Angels...don't let me give in.

Mom

Gabe

Hugs Mom, big hugs.
I'm sorry that you're going through all this.

boryad

(((((((((LovingMom)))))))))), I'm sorry for your pain.

DefofLov

(((((LovingMom))))

I am so sorry about this. I am speechless. That is terrible.

gupton4

Hugs to you - you did what you had to do to save him from himself. I have a son that has delt out so much - but when do you stop? You love them more than anything and it is so hard not to give in and come to the rescue one more time. Be strong and know that you did the right thing for him and yourself. You have to "let go and let God" at some point and maybe this is it. Keep posting as I will be thinking of you and him. Glenda

Mich

Wow, I am so sorry for you. It must hurt. BUT you sound really strong and you put your foot down. I am really proud of you. It is not easy, I am thinking about you.

Big Hugs
Michelle

gack

I feel your pain, but know that you did the right thing. One thing I've learned is that it is necessary for the addict to take responsibility for their actions. By calling the police, you have allowed your son to know that there are consequences. Please don't berate yourself for not being a loving mother, you are being loving in the most positive way possible. This pain too will pass. Now it's time for you to take care of yourself.

Hugs,
Cheryl

LovingMom

I don't know if what I did was right or wrong..but I do know that I am just so tired of being taken advantage of simply by right of birth. Just cause I gave birth to him..and have loved him for 19 years...why do you suppose he chose my house...in a totally different town from where he lives?!?! I'll tell you...because he thought he could get away with it. Just like he has gotten away with it in the past. But no more. I come to work everyday..and a weekend job to boot...just so that he can steal my stuff? Just so he can continue to break my heart at every turn...only one thing I can say to that...HE11 NO. Not anymore SonnyBoy. I DID give you birth...and I HAVE loved you for all of your life...but I havent given you permission to run all over my life...nuh uh...not anymore. My days of doormatdom are over. Now is the time for me to stand up to my kid and say..sorry son...your bail money is in the ground germinating in to something that will be beautiful. And nope..no room at this Inn...dont ask. Find your daddy..if he has the money and the "want to"...then he can bail your butt out of jail...you haven't stolen from him yet..

Wow...I guess I have just answered my own question...when is enough, enough??....when you get your belly full of heartbreak and bail bills. When you finally see that love isnt enough to kiss away this boo boo and make things all better. ENOUGH.

Mom

DefofLov

It is not your fault and you are not a bad Mom for your actions. He brought it on his self. Be strong and be guilty no longer. Enough is enough.

cwohio

mom - you sound like you are on the right track! hope you stick with it and find peace.

chris

Petunia

LovingMom,

Here's a snippet from today's thought - there was a reason I kept it:

We can't relive our lives, but we can choose today to live the way we have always wanted to live. Whether we are conscious of it or not, each day we make a choice. We choose to continue as we've been going or we choose to change.

You're choosing to live your life more safely and sanely. Remember if it was easy the line for dysfunctional living would be a heck of a lot shorter.

You're in my prayers -
Petunia

Magichappens

LovingMom,
Take care of you and let God take care of Sonnyboy. He has a lesson to learn. Til then, he will struggle. Til then, you have us. Hugs, Magic

TheresaTerry

Loving Mom,

Love is not always what we initially imagine it to be. If a complete stranger robbed you, you would file a report. Why should it be any different because it was your son? You did what anyone would do when their home is robbed. I believe you would agree that it just hurts more and we may have a tendancy to question ourselves more when it is a loved one who did the crime.

I've never been robbed by family, but I was robbed by a neighbor. When I had enough evidence to know it was my neighbor, it made me angry that he could be so clueless (or didn't care) how his actions affected my husband and I. Ultimately, I pity him that he was so clueless. His blindness to reality surely tells of a sickness much deeper than stealing. How can I not pity him, too?

I'm proud of you.
(((((hugs)))))
Terry

Ann

Lovingmom

I'm sorry I missed this one earlier. I also hesitated too many times, and if I had it to do over again (hindsight is 20/20), I would have pressed charges the second time he stole from me. The first time, I would have made him repay me, if not with money then with work around the house, and warned him that if he did it again I would report it. I could have saved myself a lot of family heirlooms, VCR's, CD players, cash, jewellery and heartache if I had only been brave enough and "recovered" enough to do it.

The thing is, it IS loving to allow them the consequences of their actions. It's one of the most loving things a mom can do.

It breaks our hearts that they would even think of doing this to us, and breaks them again to have to take a "tough" stance, but it is the right thing to do and that helps me heal.

Hugs
Ann

Debbie

LovingMom, I read your post and my heart just broke for you. You are a loving mom, don't doubt that for one minute. I think what you did took a lot of courage to do. Enough is enough as you said. And you need to think of YOU.

I know its the addiction that makes them do these things but no one has the right to steal from others. Maybe this time, he will learn a lesson and hopefully get on the right path.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!!

Hugs,
Debbie

LovingMom

Well, It was a very long weekend. The phone rang almost non-stop. But I didn't go get him. In fact after the first calls from him and his father, I just quit picking up. I changed the answering message to say.." You have reached ***-***-****, If you are calling from the Dallas County Lockup or from Lou Sterrett Jail, I will not accept the charges. If this is XXXXX, (sonny's daddy) - Bail him or not..it's up to you...please leave me out of this equation....I HAVE GIVEN ENOUGH!!!

The first couple of times the phone rang and the ex heard this..he left a sputtering..really awful message. Basically telling me yet again that he is my ex for a reason.

I don't know if SonnyBoy got his bail money or not...I do know that Sunday night the phone quit ringing and I had a totally uneventful night. I am suppose to meet with my insurance adjuster mid-week to see how much was covered under my homeowners insurance. I am fortunate that Sonny didn't live with me, because I did find out that the insurance would not have covered anything. There is so much that as I have gone through my home I have found missing...I know it was there..and now it's not. . . I am trying so hard to not attribute everything to Sonny..just in case he actually didnt take it...But who knows ??

Mom...