So that was crazy crazytown
 

So my stxah just left my house. He dropped by unannounced wanting me to come get some box of stuff. Seriously. Oh and he's raging drunk in some convertible I have never seen. He wants his jeep keys. Well you guys know the story of the jeep in my name. Well now it's his mothers jeep and I'll give the Keys to her. Why don't you have your own car keys. Where is your own car. Someone else is driving it is his answer. Ok. Whatever. He wants me to come get this box. I'm not going down there is is acting crazy. He's raging from the street. My neighbor knocks on my door to tell me my ex wants his ******* keys. I said call the police. That's what I'm going to do. I think he did. I hope he did. This went on for 20-30 minutes. Him Screaming at me. Me in my apt. He try's for 10 minutes to throw my box of stuff on my balcony until it busts open. Sad really. Then he picks up all he stuff and decides he's going to scream how he's leaving it on my car. I think he forgets where the security cameras are in this building. I'm calling the manager I. He morning and assuring him hat footage will be plenty for the restraining order. I then called his sister told her what he did. She said I must have something he wants. Give it to him. Wtf?!?!? Are you kidding. Why? So he can come back tomorrow night demanding something else. I do t think so. Wow. I'm not safe.

Hello Mischa,

That sounds awful! I hope if he tries this again, you will definitely call the police! I think it would be very wise to contact the apartment manager, get the footage from last night, and get a restraining order.

Is there anyway you can get those keys to his mother ASAP? That might short-circuit this whole thing immediately!

I hope you were able to get some rest...please be careful!

No rest. I'm terrified he will come back. Waiting to talk to his sister again. Just lost and don't know what to do. I know he's doing it to hisself but if he goes to jail he will just be bailed out and then what?!?! How mad will he be then? If he would sober up a little he would calm down. I think I'm going to have to break NC and try to calm him down. He's out of control.

You can't control him. You never could. He can't control himself. It is not your job to endanger yourself to calm him down. Call the police and stop worrying about what his family thinks. They are always going to be on his side.
This guy is dangerous. Stay far away from him.

Don't talk to him. Give his mother, sister, or whoever, the keys asap. Get the restraining order. Call the police if he comes back. Stay away from him at all costs.

contacting him will be like pouring gas on a fire.

If you can't drop the keys off asap mail them to his mom and have her sign for them so you know they arrived.

By all means get a restraining order. There is no reason to call his sister at all. She can't do anything about it either. It is just more spinning and, based on her response, she doesn't really want to be in the middle of it.

I'm going to police station to file a report to have something on record. I'm doing it today before work. If he shows up again I'll call 911. I don't know what I will do if he shows up at work. They don't know what is going on and if I yell them they will find a reason to fire me. It's a strange place I work at and strange people I work for. People have gotten fired for eating garlic. No kidding. They don't say that but that's how it is.

Call 911 if he shows up at work too - there's not really any other reasonable option... especially if you'll have filed a police report/request for restraining order that very morning.

((((HUGS)))) Stay safe!

dbl post

I called the police and went to the police several times with my exABF. He tried to threaten my life and showed up at my work.

I was afraid, and I understand that you are too. But the only response is continuing to call the police and not talking to him or his family. Even a restraining order is no guarantee he will stop. If it's legal in your state, maybe consider pepper spray. He's dangerous. The less contact you have the better. I didn't answer my door when he showed up and I didn't take his calls. Really, do not talk to him at all, that just gives him power (in his mind.)

This is probably exactly what he wants. If he can't have a good relationship with you, he wants to maintain a conflict with you. Anything to keep you in his life. That's what my ex did, that's why I'm still paying lawyer fees -- because he kept dragging me back to court or doing things that put us back in court.

Leave it. See if you can get the state troopers to escort you to get whatever he may still have that belongs to you AND get a restraining order.

Please do whatever the police advise. And once you have that RO in place, you better not break it or YOU are in violation. Please please protect yourself. You can order pepper spray and taser guns on amazon for dirt cheap. They are not police quality but pack a punch. And wasp spray also acts the same as pepper spray. I keep a can right inside my closet door by our front door. You never know.

XXX

I don't understand why you keep calling HIS sister, his family. You do not have a "bond" with these people. He contacts you, threatens you, acts like a drunk fool in public, the only person you call is the police. PERIOD. You keep yourself tethered to him.

Believe me, he sees that he has a way to tie you to him, the phone, the sister, blah blah blah.
Cancel the contract and be finished. You don't owe him anything, you have enough to remember him by, like the maxxed out credit card you are paying for.

exactly get a RO and don't violate it. You can never move on with the constant contact to his family. He is NOT your responsibility, he is an adult, you have no special magical power over him to "calm him down", unless you are feeding your own needs.

If you are really done, than be done....